


Dangerous

by MinaLaVoisin



Category: Ghost Adventures (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Alternate Universe - Sugar Daddy, Boy Love, Fluff, GAC, M/M, Slash, Smut, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Sugar Daddy, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-18 12:22:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 54,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21660751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MinaLaVoisin/pseuds/MinaLaVoisin
Summary: Aaron, a manager with a lot of money visits a strip club one day and falls in love with one of the dancers... ;-)I wrote this FF through the whole year 2019. Id like to say that this was my husbands idea, who once said that I should wrote a sugar daddy themed Zaaron FF (Zaaron is my husbands fav GAC ship from the beginning) and he actually came with the name "Ultimate Fu*kboy" and it was supposed to be more... slashy and hard :-D but I made it more fluffy and romantic, or I think at least :-DAaaand - I want to give this FF to my dear GAC family, to my girls who are still supporting me, although we arent that much in touch and I love them all totally <3 This is for you, my dears <3
Relationships: Zak Bagans/Aaron Goodwin
Comments: 11
Kudos: 23





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [goddess_of_time_and_magic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/goddess_of_time_and_magic/gifts), [Denise_F](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Denise_F/gifts).



> I have an announcement for you, guys... This may be the last FF for a longer time, because Im pregnat and Im gonna give birth to my daughter Evelynne soon. The date is set on 23.1.2019, but I feel its gonna be sooner, thats why Im posting this FF earlier, although I wanted to post it on Christmas like I always do, when it comes to Xmas gift for my GAC family. I dont know how much time I will have to create something, I have an idea for Halloween 2020 for a NAK FF, but Im not sure if I will be able to write something at all, because... well... little babies and their needs equals tired parents who are thankful for 5 minutes of rest :-D
> 
> Sorry for any grammar mistakes or nonsenses in this fic, please pretend you dont see them :-D
> 
> Lyrics used in this fic:  
> 1) 100 Ways (Austin Hull)  
> 2) Renegade (Aaryan Shah)  
> 3) Bloom (Teflon Sega ft. JaYen x District)  
> 4) Undressed (MERGES)  
> 5) Like you (INAS)  
> 6) Small Doses (Bebe Rhexa)  
> 7) Pity Party (Sakima)  
> 8) Vacancy/Gather Dust (Teflon Sega)

Aaron Goodwin was sitting in his office, doing the usual paper work.

He didnt think that today, a day after the great deal with European companies that his own company was working on finally became true, he will be buried under order forms. He actually had a day off and he could think about dozens of better ways how to spend the time, but he just couldnt leave his work unfinished, even if it wasnt necessary. All of sudden the door flew open and two of his co-workers and also best friends, Billy Tolley and Jay Wasley rushed in with big grins on their faces.

"We have a surprise for you, buddy," smiled Billy and Aaron lowkey felt panic rise up from his stomach to his neck. When these two prepare a surprise for someone, you can be sure that its going to be something crazy.

"Meet us at Jays office after youre done with these papers, ok?" winked Billy. Aaron just nodded, knowing there is no way of how to disagree, because the guys wouldnt stop until he would say _yes_ , so there is no point in trying to refuse.

Billy and Jay left, both of them giggling like little kids and Aaron turned his face back to his computer. He saved a few documents to work on them later and gave up the plan of finishing all of his work in one day. He was kinda upset about it, because he liked the vision of being able to not think about work at least on his birthday evening, but he knew that Billy would be bothering him the whole afternoon, distracting him from focusing on the computer screen.

\------

"So? Whats your plan, guys? Should I be worried?"  
"No, Aaron, what are you saying? You know us!"  
"Yeah, Billy, I know both of you well and... Im sorry to say that, but last year you two came up with bungee jumping... and the previous birthday? It was an escape room and they locked me in a casket full of fake spiders! It was freaking dark here! I fucking thought that the spiders are moving, bro! I swear that I thought I can feel them crawl around my legs! I nearly pissed myself, until I realized that they wouldnt put real spiders into the casket, that would be too dangerous of course."  
"Um... actually... the spiders _were_ real..." mumbled Jay.  
"Like... real... for real?" Aarons face lost all of its color.  
"Yeah," Jay gave Aaron a guilty smile.  
"See? Thats what Im afraid of! You two always come up with something absolutely horrifying and I... I dont want to die, ok?"  
"Aaron, Aaron, calm down, please," said Billy and turned over to Jay. "Why did you tell him about the spiders? Look at him! Hes scared now!"  
"Oh, no, youre wrong, Billy, I was scared way before you even showed up at my office, bro. The bungee jumping... well... I can live with that memory, but... _real spiders_? No, thanks. And what about this year? Is it a bathtub full of worms or something like that? I think that... Guys, I dont think that I would even want a birthday gift from you two again, Im sorry," Aaron stood up and went to leave Jays office, but Billy stopped him.  
"No, Aaron, its something _different_ this year, I swear!"  
"Well, _different_ doesnt sound less scary..."  
"Ok, so... its something... nice, pleasing... and... Jay, help me a little bit."  
"Its a party at a club!"  
"Damn, dude! Its a surprise! You cant just tell him where it takes place, for Gods sake, Jay!"  
"But I didnt tell him about the main part!"  
"Sorry to interrupt, guys, but... I dont feel like going to a party today... I thought about doing my work and then having a nice, calm and quiet evening with myself and a glass of wine, maybe with a good book... you know what I mean?"  
Billy and Jay exchanged a nearly disgusted stare.  
"No. I have no idea what you are talking about. A quiet evening with a book? On your birthday? How old are you? 70? Oh my God, I just cant let you do that! Youre not dead, Aaron, you still can have some fun and you deserve to have some fun!" smiled Billy encouragely.  
"Yeah, Billys right, buddy! Its gonna be fine, I swear. It doesnt involve casket, spiders and worms this time, I promise," said Jay.  
"Alright, but if its going to be something terrible, I swear that you will take the consequences for your actions."  
"Yeah, we know, you will kill us. You said that last year and look at us, we are still alive," laughed Billy, but Aaron gave him a dead serious stare.  
"No, Im gonna fire you."  
"Fire us...?" Billy seemed to be nervous. "Ok... but I still think you should go to a club with us."  
"Party at the club!" shouted Jay and started to dance to some inaudible music.  
"Yeah, paaaaarty at the cluuuub," sung Billy, "just say yes. You know that we wont stop annoy you until you agree."  
"Yeah, I know," sighed Aaron.   
"So?" winked Jay. "Party at the club?"  
"Ok, party at the club."

Aaron actually really didnt want to go, but he knew that now, when he agreed, its too late to change his opinion.

"Im gonna pick you up at 8pm, alright? Now go home, have some rest, you dont need to work every day, buddy, especially not on your birthday. It can wait until tommorow, believe me," Billy pushed Aaron out of the door and, before he closed them in front of Aarons nose, he just said: "8pm! Be ready!"

\----------

Aaron didnt think twice about his clothes, he just put on a dark shirt with skulls and dark pants, clothes that he felt comfortable in and when Billy knocked on his door, he already had shoes on. He checked himself in the mirror, just to tell himself that _this wont end well_ and went outside and into Billys car.  
"Wheres Jay?" wondered Aaron when he found out that Billy is in the car by himself.  
"Hes waiting for us at the club, ordering some drinks so we dont need to wait for them when we arrive."  
"Ok... Billy, can you please tell me whats gonna happen at the club? When Jay said that he didnt reveal the main part of your plans... well, Im thinking about it the whole afternoon."  
"Its nothing dangerous, dont worry," tried Billy to calm him down. "Its gonna be fine this time, its nothing like in the previous years, its something way better, something you will enjoy for sure."  
"If you say so..." Aaron just shrugged his shoulders and told himself that he probably needs to prepare for the worst.

The club was dark and full of people. Jay, who was waiting outside, dragged Aaron inside and made him sit right next to the podium. Aaron looked around and gave Billy a frightened stare, when he saw a sign saying _Tonights a men night_. Billy just grinned.  
"Relax, bro, nobody is going to judge you here."  
"What do you mean?" asked Aaron and started to feel uneasy.   
"I know that you like... that you dont like girls... kinda... at all. Jay knows about it too."  
Aaron felt like crawling under the nearest table, curl in a fetal position and slam his head against the floor as many times as it needs for him to fall unconciousness.  
"But..." Aaron gulped. "How?"  
"Bro, no offense, but its fucking obvious. I had a suspicion earlier, but... do you remember the deal with mister Hart? That man that was looking like the guy that was playing in the movie... what was the name... oh, Equilibrium!"  
"You mean Christian Bale...?"  
"Yeah, that actor! Steven Hart was looking exactly like him, when he was in that movie. I heard the girls from our floor talk about him, they were talking about how handsome he is. I dont know if you realized what you were saying at the moment, but you told me that he looks _beautiful in that dark blue suit_. Thats not something that a straight man would say, at least thats what I think. Sorry, Aaron. And please, dont take this is the wrong way, me and Jay, we dont mind you to be... whatever you feel you want to be, ok?"  
Aaron wanted to say something, but he felt like he lost the ability to talk. When he finally breathed out the air he was holding in his lungs and wanted to try to speak with Billy, Jay interrupted him.

"Watch this, Aaron," poked Jay Aarons arm and Aaron focused on the stage.

And there he was.

_That_ man.

He was tall. And beautiful. His skin was soft and smooth, but he also had significant masculine facial features. Dark hair. Blue eyes. He came on the stage dressed in black police clothes, with a collar around his neck and... with bright pink bunny ears.

Aaron immediately got goosebumps as the man on the stage locked his eyes with Aarons when the music started to play. Aaron needed to smile a little when he recognized the song. It was some sort of a remix of "100 Ways" from Austin Hull, he was listening to this song on repeat in his office a few days ago and, apparently, one of his co-workers noticed that.

**’ll tell you all the things I wanna do  
We’ll spend the night locked in the hotel room  
We’ll have a drink, shit, maybe have a few  
Let’s toast to me and you**

**Can I persuade ya?  
I wanna take you right back to my place,   
Undress you in a hundred different ways,   
And we don’t have to tell a fucking soul baby,   
Let’s make mistakes,  
We’ll go until the bed frame fucking breaks,   
I’ll dive into your body like a lake,   
And we don’t have to tell a fucking soul baby...**

The guy on the stage started to dance to the music, swaying to the rhytm, doing hip thrusts and he slowly started to take off his clothes, still looking at Aaron. In the end he remained dressed only in tight black boxers and those bunny ears and he came near to Aaron, who left him sit on his lap. 

"I guess you like what you see," whispered the dark haired man and Aaron blushed, when he realized that this sexy dancer is talking about his erection.

"I like it a lot", agreed Aaron, trying to calm himself down, but it seemed to be impossible with this amazing guy being near.

"So that means you will like what comes next," smirked the dark haired guy and without further warning he just smashed his lips onto Aarons, kissing him wildly, using his tongue and the whole bar just bursted out applauding together with Billy and Jay who were screaming like two fangirls.

Aaron didnt hear them. Right at the moment when the dancer pressed his lips on Aarons, the whole world around disappeared. It felt like a year, but also just like a second, until the beautiful dancer moved away and Aaron could hear the people cheer behind his back again.

"Happy birthday," whispered the dark haired man in his ear, and even if it was an usual phrase, Aaron tensed up, because the dancers voice... anything, he said, just sounded like an ocean, soothing, but dangerous at one time and Aaron knew immediately that he will never get enough of that voice. Before he could say anything, the dancer left his lap and vanished into the backstage, leaving Aaron speechless and sweating in his seat.

Billy put his hand on Aarons shaking shoulder.  
"Are you ok, bro?"  
Aaron just turned over and looked at Billy with, what Billy saw, was horror in his eyes. Jay leaned over to them.  
"Red ears, big puppils, yeah, hes good, actually... I think hes impressed!"  
"Really? Are you?" smiled Billy hopefully.   
"Yea... yeah. I am. Definitely," said Aaron, still unable to think clearly.  
"So we chose a good gift this year, right?" Billy was shining with pride. Aaron wanted to be mad at him for exposing his true sexual orientation in front of many strangers, but he just couldnt do that, when he saw how much was Billy happy about the _gift_. His face had this stupid childish smile on it and his eyes were sparkling and Aaron just needed to admit, that Billy really thought about this years present and really tried to come up with something, that would be unique and crazy in his own way of choosing birthday gifts, but also will suit Aaron perfectly and completely.  
"Thank you," was everything that Aaron was able to say at that moment. As much as he wanted to say something that would show Billy that he actually _appreciates_ this idea of a birthday gift, his mind was still too distracted by the dancer and his lips. 

_And blue eyes. And pale skin. And interesting tattoos. And his muscles... And his voice..._

Aaron could have thought of other fine features the dancer had, but Billy shoved him a glass of whiskey in the hand.  
"And now lets drink! Lets celebrate! Happy birthday, Aaron!"

\-------

Aaron had a few drink with his friends, hoping that Zak might aapear on the stage again, but he didnt. Aaron saw a lot of dancers that night, young, pretty boys with slim bodies and beautiful smiles, but none of them was like that _dancer_.  
Nobody Aaron ever met or saw was like _him_.  
Those blue eyes... anyone could desbribe them as "commonly colored", but Aaron saw them different.

_Two deep oceans, right before the dawn, when the sky is grey. And the sparkling light of the last stars that are still shining is drowning in their dark waters._

"He´s cute, isnt he?" smiled Billy, when they were leaving the club.  
"Who?" Aaron tried to pretend that he doesnt know about who is Billy speaking.  
"You know who, the black haired dancer."  
"Yeah... kinda," admitted Aaron shyly.  
"I knew that this is gonna be the right present," giggled Billy.  
Aaron just blushed, leaving the conversation unfinished.

_Yes, indeed. This was the best present I ever got._

And from that night Aaron became a regular customer of the club and especially _his dancer_. In the first months, he visited the club once or twice in a week, when he knew that the dancer with the stage name "Ghost" will be dancing for sure, always trying to blend with the crowd at the bar. Sometimes he was noticed by the dancer, who always gave him a smile, making Aaron try to be invisible even more, because he didnt want to look like a creep whos always watching just the one, same guy, but he also knew that this is _exactly_ what he is doing. He came into the club 10 minutes before the dancer went on stage, just to order a drink and find a good place to sit and he left the club right after the dancer went off, leaving money for his single drink on the table.  
He would be probably just watching the dancer from afar, drooling over him for the rest of his days, but one evening in September, when Aaron just took his seat from where he could watch the stage clearly without being easily spotted, the waitress gave him his usual drink, saying:  
"Again here for Zak, huh?"  
"Excuse me?"  
"Zak. Youre here everytime he is performing. But you never visit this club when other guys are dancing. I think thats not a coincidence, is it?"

_So his name is Zak. Nice. And it actually fits him so well for some reason..._

Aaron didnt want to think about _stuff like that_ , but the thought just crossed his mind quickly. He saw himself, sitting on a chair, the black haired dancer kneeling in front of him, his head moving up and down, as Aaron imagined the handsome man giving him a blowjob, and he heard himself in his head moaning that name, _Zak..._

"Youre good?" asked the waitress and waved her hand in front of Aarons eyes.  
"Yes, of course," said Aaron and the waitress laughed.  
"You dont need to be shy, Zak just has this... aura, you know? You look into his eyes and boom, youre doomed. I would bet myself that hes doing some sort of... tantra or magic or something. He is like... overflowing with sexual energy. I understand how you feel and a lot of our clients would agree with me, with _us_."  
Aaron just nodded, not knowing what to say.

_Oh, fuck, shes right, shes just so damn right about him..._

"You know what? I can arrange a meeting for you two, what would you think about that?"  
"A meeting?" Aaron nearly fell down from his chair.  
"Yeah, of course! What about tommorow? Maybe... 11pm? Would you like that?"  
"Yes, I would," said Aaron, still hearing just a loud buzz in his mind instead of his thoughts.  
"Alright then! So, 11pm, Im gonna wait for you here at this table."  
"Ok..."  
"Ok! Now, please, enjoy the show. Its a special perfomance tonight. Im sure youre gonna like it."

The waitress smiled and vanished into the crowd. The light lowered down and Aaron turned to the stage, thinking that this woman had some sort of similarity to Billy and his excitement about his _newest birthday gift for Aaron_.

The music started to play, but Zak didnt walk to the stage and Aaron saw the other people in the club raise their heads, so he did the same. Zak was hanging from the ceiling, holding onto two black ropes, actually _dancing with them in the air_ and Aaron just thought that this guy is amazingly talented, because this wasnt just dancing, this was an artistic performance that for sure took many hours of practicing.

In the end, Zak jumped down, and Aaron held his breath for a second, being afraid that _its too high to just jump down_ , but Zak landed without a single problem on all his fours elegantly like a wild cat.

The music changed and the song "Renegade" from Aaryan Shah started to play, when Zak unbuckled the belt on his black, torn, tight jeans.

**Keep your eyes on mine  
And if you want I'll tell you lies  
Tell you I'm yours for life...**

Aaron gulped. He thought that the dancer wont notice him, but Zak suddenly found him and again, smiled at Aaron in such a way, that made Aaron shiver and he felt his whole body being on fire. Aaron could almost _physically feel_ Zaks stare, like as his eyes, hidden behind a black mask, would be _tasting_ him and he was glad, that everybody is paying attention to the stage and Zak, because he kinda had a _little problem that he wasnt able to hide_.

**I'm not here for games  
I told you what it is, you chose to stay  
Baby, you chose the pain  
Cause you don't know me, you just know my name...**

The dancer turned his back to the crowd and ripped off his boxers, staying naked for a few seconds, so the people in the club could admire his ass a little and then someone handed him a piece of black silk to cover his intimate parts, and he turned back, giving the audience a last smile and winked at Aaron, who was holding tightly onto the table, afraid that he is gonna collapse soon.

**Ohh, should've listened to them  
Ohh, don't you know what I am?  
Ohh, didn't you listen to them?  
Ohh, don't you know what I am?**

\----------------

Aaron couldnt even sleep. He was just counting seconds and minutes until evening and rushed to the club, found the table and nervously waited for... for anything.

"Good evening, mister...?" heard Aaron above his head when he was checking the phone to find out that it is exactly 11pm. Aaron lifted his stare.  
"Goodwin. And you are...?"  
"Im Patrick Nowak, the owner of this club, nice to meet you," smiled the little, chubby man and offered Aaron his hand full of golden rings. Aaron accepted it.  
"Nice to meet you too."  
The club owner sat down next to Aaron and leaned to him. Some dancer appeared on the stage, but Aaron didnt pay attention. It wasnt Zak and he wasnt interested in other dancers.  
"So I heard that you like one of our boys, mister Goodwin. Zak, to be exact. Lizzie thought that it would be nice to... how to say it... to create a date for you two."

_Lizzie? Oh, yeah, probably the waitress..._

"Yeah, we were talking about it yesterday," admitted Aaron.

The owner smiled and clapped his hand happily like a little child.  
"Thats so great! Im so glad that Zak catched your eye, he is a very... extraordinary guy."  
"Yes, he is... phenomenal. The performance he was doing yesterday... Im still out of words."  
"Oh, of course, that... rope dance. Yes, Zak is really talented. But lets skip to the date, shall we?"  
Aaron just nodded and the club owner stood up.  
"Please, follow me, Zak is already waiting for you."  
Aaron left the table and his drink and followed the club owner to the backstage. Instead of a dressing room and mirrors, there was a long, dimly lit hallway, with many doors and every one of them had a number. The club owner led Aaron to the door number 11, took out a key and opened the door.  
The room was small, just with a sofa and a little table with a bottle of champagne and two glasses, but without Zak.  
"Where is Zak?" wondered Aaron.  
"He is gonna be right there, but first... let us discuss the price."  
"The price?"  
"Of course, mister Goodwin. This is a private meeting with one of our dancers, what did you think, that Im doing this because I have a good heart?"  
Aaron just shrugged his shoulders. He didnt actually think about this whole thing at all, the only thing that he was focused on was the vision of meeting Zak and his frantic heartbeat which he wasnt able to calm down. The club owner laughed out loud.  
"If you got mistaken by the word "date", Im very sorry for it. Thats just how I like to call it, you know, private meeting with a dancer, that sounds like some dirty sex with a prostitute, which, by the way, wont happen, if you thought that it would."  
Aaron was still staring at the club owner, being able just to shake his head to show the owner that he didnt think about stuff like that.  
"Alright, so... Zak will dance for you, privately and then... then you can have a talk or something. 200 dollars for one hour. You can touch Zak, but just as much as he allows you to."  
"200 dollars for one hour? Are you kidding me?"  
"No, mister Goodwin, Im not. 200 dollars? Oh, come on, we both know that you would pay even more, because you want to see Zak, up-close, and I could ask for 400 dollars, damn, I think that you would pay even 500 dollars, but, well, I guess that, after all, I do have a good heart, so Im gonna give you a low price."  
Aaron blinked a few times but then he took a wallet and handed the club owner the money he wanted.  
"Great, you are paying in cash, I like that," smirked the club owner. "So you really want to meet him, huh?"  
"I would love to," admitted Aaron.  
"Ok... so, Im gonna call Zak and after a hour this light," the owner pointed at a light bulb above the door, "will turn red. It means that you need to go. I will be waiting for you at the table, just where we met today, alright? I would like to ask you a few questions, if you dont mind."  
"No, I dont," said Aaron, who would agree with anything just to finally see _his dancer_.  
"Alright. Have a nice time with our boy, mister Goodwin. See you later!"  
The club owner disappeared behind the door. Aaron was sitting in the silent, half empty room for maybe just a minute, when the door opened again. And finally it was _him_.  
When Zak locked the door, the light went from red to green.  
"Hi," smiled he at Aaron, who was glad that he is sitting right now, because he would definitely faint to the floor if he wouldnt be. "I thought it would be you."  
"Me?"  
"Of course, who would pay money to meet me in person if it wouldnt be you, my most devoted fan?"  
Aaron blushed hard. 

_So... how many times, when I thought that Im practically invisible, did Zak see me?_

"I saw you in the audience everytime I was performing, and thats more than twice a week," smiled Zak again and practically answered Aarons question like as if he was able to read Aarons mind.  
"Do I look like a creep?" worried Aaron.  
"No, not at all, many of our customers visit us because of one or two specific dancers, its alright. I think you would be more of a creep if you would like to watch all of them. Its natural to have some preferences, you know what I mean?"  
Aaron just nodded. He realized that he now has just only preference, and its name is _Zak_.   
"Although I think that you are the only one customer who ever visited every one of my performances in a row for like... a half a year."  
"You... its because you are... youre just amazing," mumbled Aaron.  
"Thank you, it means a lot to me. Actually... there arent many customers who would be interested in me, so... thanks. Whats your name anyway?"  
"Im Aaron Goodwin..."  
"Zak, nice to meet you. So, do you want me to dance for you? Or do you want to just talk or..."  
"Or... what?" Aaron was curious.  
"I dont know, we can drink," Zak pointed to the bottle.  
"I would rather see you dance, maybe we can have a drink later," suggested Aaron.  
"Alright then, _Aaron_ , close your eyes for a moment, please."

Aaron closed his eyes. He heard Zak move across the room and then music started to play. 

**The drugs are kicking in  
Like we gon fall in love  
A little pillow talk...**

"Open your eyes, Aaron," said Zak silently and Aaron did what he wanted.

**And now u going down  
And we both coming up  
This bed was made for sleep  
But we aint getting none  
I want you satisfied   
So tell me what you need...**

Zak was standing in front of Aaron, dressed in white, a color that was kinda unusual for him, but looked perfect on him. He was slowly dancing, undressing himself, caressing his own body, watching Aaron, piercing him with his blue eyes.

**Imma put u in trance, bring you to my world  
You ain’t never seen this shit, baby I’m the first  
I know they talk a lot, but F what u heard  
I can’t even really tell u if I’m blessed or cursed   
I know they watch me,   
Kakashi the way that they copy  
F with no body  
Except for your body...**

And all of a sudden, he went closer, took Aarons hand a put it on his chest, pushing it down, to the belt of his pants.

"Maybe you would like me to take them off... What if you would do it by yourself?"

Aaron tried to unzip the pants with shaking hands and he put them down to Zaks ankles. He gasped for air when he realized whats right in front of his face.

"Oh... uh... wow," said he silently, although his mind was screaming something like _man, this guy is fucking HUGE!_. His palms remained motionless on Zaks hips. Zak shook them off gently and crawled onto Aaron, sitting in his lap.

**U know I’m good  
black flames from my eyes it’s dripping blood  
I’ll make you feel things that cannot be understood...**

"Would you like to kiss me again?" smiled Zak and his blue eyes sparkled with starlight. Aaron felt completely lost and was able to just nod his head. 

_How the fuck did this happen? Its me, for Gods sake, Im making contracts and deals where milions of dollars are just floating in the air and its all because I have the gift of saying right things at the right time, so why does this man leave me completely speechless?_

"Do it," whispered Zak and leaned forward to reach Aaron. Aaron didnt wait any longer and connected their lips, knowing that he might be a little bit... intense, but he just couldnt help himself.

**I just wanna watch you bloom for a little...**

When Zak parted their lips, Aaron realized that the music isnt playing anymore. 

"Yeah, same as I remember," said Zak, his eyes still closed, smiling.  
"What?"  
"Youre taste... not everybody tastes like strawberries and vanilla ice cream, you know?"  
"So... you are kissing the customers a lot?"  
"No, just... occasionally. When someone makes an order, then I need to. Just as when you had your birthday party, your friend came up with the whole idea, from the clothes I wore to the music that was playing. And also with the kiss."  
"He... he wanted to wear you those bunny ears?"  
"No, that was actually my own inventiveness," giggled Zak and his muscles trembled a little, as the sound of his laugh vibrated through his body and Aaron could feel that under his palms, who were still resting on Zaks lower back. "Sometimes I add a little detail."  
"But why pink plushy ears?"  
"I dont know, they looked good together with the police uniform, so I wore them. Thats all. You liked that?"  
"I dont know... I was kinda surprised with the whole thing, so... I didnt pay that much attention to them."  
"Oh... ok," said Zak simply, crawled down from Aarons lap, took a seat next to him on the couch and poured some champagne into the glasses, handind one to Aaron.  
Aaron took a silent sip of the fizzy drink, not knowing what to tell or what to ask Zak. Luckily Zak took over the conversation.  
"So? Why me?"  
"Why you?" Aaron took another sip, pretending that he is thinking about some reason, when in fact he knew about 1000 of reason why he choose Zak, who turned over and made himself comfortable at the couch.  
"Well... youre talented. And handsome. And... and your voice sounds so... I dont know, like... waves, and its so calm and exciting at the same time, you know?" smiled Aaron to himself. "And your eyes," turned he to face Zak, "they are..."  
Zak looked Aaron straight in his eyes and Aaron once again remember the words that Lizzie said.

_You look into his eyes and boom, youre doomed..._

"They are... dangerous."  
"Dangerous?"  
"Yeah... I shouldnt be looking into them, because I know for sure that I will drown in them, but I just cant help myself..."

The astmosphere was silent and heavy for a moment and then Zak just asked:  
"So, you are into men, am I right about that?"  
Aaron was confused.  
"Um... I... I thought you know... why would I even bother watching you so many times if I wouldnt be...?"  
"Im sorry if I offended you in some way, Aaron. I didnt want it to sound bad or something, actually a lot of men who visit our club are straight, I dont know why they visit us, but they do. And you would be surprised how many times they want to try something more than just watching some other guy take off his clothes."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah, its weird, but true."  
"And you? Are you... like..."  
"Gay or straight? What would you like me to be?"  
"Um... I dont know... I dont know if you should be... or..."  
"Well, then I dont know either," winked Zak and took a slow sip.  
Aaron didnt know if Zak is trying to catch his eye or if hes trying to hide his sexual orientation, so he didnt say anything to respond Zak in any way.  
"How long are you working here?" asked he after a while.  
"No, please, I dont want to talk about work, arent there many more interesting themes for conversation?"

_Yeah, I knew it is stupid, but I just couldnt come up with anything else, while watching you..._

"I guess so," shrugged Aaron his shoulders.  
"You arent talkative, are you?"  
"Actually, I am... Im just nervous when Im near to you," told Aaron Zak the truth.  
"Thats sweet," smiled Zak and moved a little closer to Aaron.  
"Yeah, now its even worse," shifted Aaron in his seat. Zak just put his hand into Aarons lap.  
"What... what are you doing?"  
"I dont know... I just thought that you look cute, when you blush, so Im trying to make you blush even harder. And its working..."  
"Of course its working," Aaron tried to escape from Zaks touch, but the couch was too small to move away from Zak and Aaron was now just squirming next to him. "Youre touching my... my... youre touching _me_."  
"I know," whispered Zak, "and I know you like it."  
Aaron stopped his effort to get out of Zaks reach and froze. It was in fact a longer time since he was _close_ to someone and he felt like a teenager.  
"Quickly, kiss me again," said Zak and leaned to Aaron, who didnt wait and did what Zak wanted.  
He had his eyes closed, but he could feel Zak smile, when he moved his hand a little and Aarons cock twitched under the layers of clothes he had on. He already thought that this may end like one of the most embarassing, but also sexiest moments of his life, but Zak pulled away.  
"Well, the time is over."  
Aaron turned to the door. The light was red. Aaron felt heaviness grow in his chest.

_It was just like a second... It wasnt enough..._

Zak grabbed his clothes from the floor like as if nothing happened.

_Yeah, nothing happened, you idiot, this is just a job for him, do you remember?_

"So... am I gonna see you next time I will be performing?"  
"Yeah, of course..."  
"Fine... so... see ya, Aaron. It was a pleasure to meet you."

And Aaron was suddenly left all alone, just with those goosebumps all over his whole body and the urge to see Zak again.

\-----------

It took him a while to collect myself and calm down, before he went back to the front part of the club, finding the club owner already sitting behind the usual table.  
"So? Everything alright, mister Goodwin?"  
Aaron sat down and felt like his body is heavy as a truck full of stones.  
"Yeah... it was... great, actually."  
"Thats perfect! Im so glad to hear that, I knew that Zak will suit your needs well. Im gonna go right to the point, mister Goodwin. Im offering you a... um... maybe a... subscription, I would say? How about this - you will be able to be alone with Zak every friday from now on. How does it sound?"  
Aaron knew that the owner isnt waiting for him to agree. He probably always knew that Aaron would never say _no_ when it came to the possibility of meeting Zak.  
"Whats the price? 200 dollars for an hour, like tonight?"  
The club owner smiled.  
"Youre an intelligent man, mister Goodwin. I wanted to lower the price a little bit, because I see some kind of potential in our... cooperation, but if it seems like an appropriate price for you, then I dont have any problem with it."  
"Me neither," said Aaron quickly. "But can I... buy more hours with Zak? Like... in a row? Maybe two or three...?"  
"No, Im sorry, mister Goodwin. Zak will be yours for an hour on every friday at 11pm. Thats all I can do for you. But you still can visit his performances like youre used to, on every tuesday and every thursday. You are one of our best customers, so Im offerimg you at least all the drinks for free, every time you visit my club. Its not the best offer, but its more than nothing, right?"

_1 hour... yeah, its not enough, but its more than nothing._

"Right."  
"Alright then. So, would you like to pay today or..."  
"Yeah, of course."  
Aaron handed the club owner a few banknotes.  
"Paying in cash, yeah, I like that. Its more clear, more... friendly based. Alright, so Im gonna see you again in February to discuss if you want to pay for some more time with Zak. Until that time, the room 11 is reserved for you. Im glad we made a deal, mister Goodwin," offered the club owner his hand to Aaron. "Im sure youre gonna have a lot of fun with Zak. Just remember - the rules didnt change. You can touch Zak, but only when he allows you to. Kisses are not forbidden, as you noticed. If you would like to experience more with Zak... maybe we could talk about it later, ok?"  
"Ok..."  
"Fine," smiled the club owner. "Now, please, excuse me, I have a lot of work to do."  
Aaron smiled back, but for some reason he suddenly felt panic growing in his stomach. He drove home and spent the rest of the night lying on his bed, eyes wide open, staring into the dark and thinking about Zak and the scent of his skin.

Yes, he paid a lot of money tonight, just for the chance to see and talk with a stripper, but he didnt care. He had enough money to pay even more, so this wasnt the thing that bothered him. It was the fact that he knew for sure that he will _need_ to do other things with Zak, than just kiss him. 

_I would do so much more... But where is the line? What is the point of no return? Whats gonna happen, when Im gonna be too deep into this shit to be able to just think about Zak being half naked in front of the eyes of other men? Whats gonna happen, when I will no longer be able to deal with the thought that is kissing the others and not just me?_

\-----------

Aaron thought about never visiting the club again, but on tuesday at 8pm, he was sitting at his usual place, ready to see Zak dance again.

On friday, Aaron went straight into the backstage and to room 11. The couch, the table with champagne and two glasses, nothing more. Zak wasnt surprised when he entered the room.

"I knew its gonna be you, I knew it," smiled he and ran straight to Aaron and into his open arms. Zak obviously thought that Aaron is gonna kiss him, but he just threw his arms around Zak, pulling him close, his nose somewhere on Zaks neck, inhaling the scent of red forest fruit coming from Zaks hair.  
"I missed you," whispered Aaron and almost felt tears forming in his eyes.

_So its true... I dont even know who this guy really is but I think it doesnt matter to me... Its too late, I think its fucking late for me..._

"I admit that I was thinking about you too... now and then. How did you like my performance yesterday?"  
"It was awesome! Im blown away by your talent, Zak, youre so..."  
"Alright, ok, ok, stop with the compliments and kiss me finally," laughed Zak playfully and wrapped his arms around Aarons neck to pull him closer.

_Fireworks. Vibrant colors. Chocolate. Hot summer nights. Long and dark winter evenings spent in front of a fireplace._

Aaron wasnt able to find words to describe how kissing Zak feels like. It was like the whole world just crashed down and then was reborn like a Phoenix from its own ashes to be even more beautiful.

"So? Do you want me to dance?" asked Zak.  
"Yeah... but can we... can we talk a little after that?"  
"Of course, whatever you would like to," smiled Zak and prepared for the dance.

When he was done, he sat next to Aaron, poured some champange into the glasses and asked:  
"So, what would you like to talk about, mister Goodwin?" 

\---------

Every meeting was the same. Aaron went to room number 11 at 11pm on every friday, Zak danced, took off some of his clothes, made Aaron almost lose his mind and then sat down for a little chit chat. They talked about Aarons work and about how Zak ended up at the club when he ran away from home when he was 17 but although he was mad at his family, he didnt want to leave them unsecured. Sometimes they kissed and Aaron enjoyed those moments like nothing else in his life, but the time was flowing and Aaron found himself being still more and more hungry for Zak and so the time, when the kisses werent enough for Aaron, came.

He had a hard time finding the club owner, as it seemed like none of his employees have ever heard of him, but one day in December, he saw a blonde girl with ponytail in the crowd.

"Lizzie!" shouted Aaron and the girl turned over to him.

_Thank God, it really is her..._

"Hi! How was your meeting with Zak?"  
"Fantastic, thanks for that, Lizzie."  
"My pleasure," waved Lizzie her hand.  
"I... I actually wanted you to ask where I can find mister Nowak? He promised me to talk with me if I would like to... experience more with Zak...?"  
"Oh, sure, follow me!"

Lizzie led Aaron to a staircase.  
"His office is upstairs. Theres just one door, so you cant miss it," smiled she.

The second after Aaron was knocking on the club owners office door.

"Hello, mister Goodwin! You came to pay for some more time earlier than I thought, but I actually dont mind, of course."  
"Yeah... yes, but I... Im gonna pay whatever you want me to, I juts came to ask... You know how you said that if Im gonna feel like experiencing more with Zak than just kisses, I should let you know, so... Im here."  
The club owner raised his eyebrows.  
"Oh, I need to admit that I didnt expect you to come ask me about it so soon, but... alright then. What do you imagine Zak should do for you?"  
"Um... how... what do you mean?"  
"Come on, mister Goodwin, were two grown up men, arent we? Lets talk straight, thats the best. So, what is it going to be? A handjob? A blowjob? Or just a massage? Something else?"  
"The second option," blurted Aaron out and when he realized that his tongue was faster than his brain, he lowered his stare shyly.  
"Alright then, mister Goodwin, you dont need to feel embarassed because of it, its normal, its natural to have desires and you shouldnt be shy about that. Desires, thats what makes us what we are. Our desires define us. Its nothing you should be scared of. I promise you, that next friday Zak will be yours for the standard one hour and he will please you in the way you asked for. But its not gonna be for free, if you understand what I mean."  
"Yes, I do. How much?"  
"Lets say... 1000 dollars?"  
"Ok, there, its a little bit more, take it as a payment for the continuation of my subscription."  
"Thank you, mister Goodwin. Youre such a good business partner, do you know that? It cant be seen often in these days and I aprreciate that."  
"Thanks, Im trying," said Aaron, although he didnt understand the point of this conversation. Luckily, for the club owner, this seemed to be usual.  
"Ok, so... have a good night, mister Goodwin."  
"You too, mister Nowak."

\-------

Aaron was nervous as hell.   
"So, one hour with you again," said Zak instead of _hello_ when he entered room 11 and locked the door. The red light changed its color to green.  
"Dance first?"  
"No... lets talk first," said Aaron and dragged Zak down to him on the couch.  
"You dont seem like you want to talk," smiled Zak and kissed Aaron passionately.   
"Let me dance for you first, okay?"  
Aaron just nodded, leaving Zak to do what he wants to.

_Maybe its that "thing" I paid for a part of the dance..._

Zak pushed a little button on the wall and Aaron realized for the first time that this is the way to play the music.  
"Who is picking the songs?" asked Aaron curiously, when he once again recognized a song, that he knew well.

**Show me where you're sitting  
I can meet you where you are  
Last time we lost time, and last time was too much  
Last time went too far  
I'm praying babe, I'm praying babe  
Don't make me wait...**

"Me," smiled Zak proudly, but didnt stop dance slowly.

**Ever since you left me,  
You know where my head is so  
Yeah, you got the best in me,   
Now I'm standing here undressed...**

"And these are the songs that you like or...?"

**Taking off my pride  
I'll be falling on my knees  
And those night won’t die  
Starting now, I’m never sleeping  
Cause I’m never on your mind  
You’re always on mine, though...**

"I kinda like them, to say the truth. They are good for dancing, but... I admit that I did a little... research, when I was about to download the song your friend wanted to be played on our birthday, so... these are songs that were similiar to the first one, so I thought that _you_ could like them."

**You know that I want you badly...**

Zak went closer to Aaron, who immediately knew what to do. He started to take off Zaks pants, a little ritual for them, Aaron always was the one who took care of Zaks pants. He didnt know why, but he never asked. He never thought about it, if it has a deeper meaning, if the things are always the same for some reason, he didnt care.

_Who cares whats happening when I like it anyway?_

Zak kneeled down, hands on Aarons thights, his eyes big and innocent all of sudden, and he looked like a young boy, his cheeks flaming bright pink. And he bit his lower lip.

Aaron felt dizzy. This was too much, too much to handle, the silent question in Zaks eyes, his obvious nervousness, like as if he doesnt know what to do and waits for Aaron to tell him what he wants.

**Honey I’m high, oh  
I just wanna be up in your bed  
Not in mine  
I just wanna be up in your bed  
Not in mine...**

"Suck me, baby," said Aaron quickly, before his own panic could stop him and make him speechless again, like always, when he was near to Zak.  
Zak blinked quickly and his long, black eyelashes fluttered like the wings of a night butterfly.  
"...what?"  
"Um..."

_No, not again..._

"I... I said... I want... please... just..."

Zak went higher on Aarons thighs with his hands.

"Suck me."

Zak took a quick, but deep breath.   
"Ok... ok."  
Aaron suddenly felt the urge to stop him. Zaks hands were shaking like hell, when he tried to open Aarons pants and his breath got faster and heavier, but he didnt look _excited_. It was more like he is gonna heave a heartattack soon or faint to the ground.  
Aaron took his hands in his palms.  
"You know what? Im taking that back, you dont need to do that, ok? It was just a... random idea or something, Im sorry," tried Aaron to calm Zak down, but he tried to continue.  
"No, I need to. You... you paid a lot of money for sure, so... so I need to do that."  
Zak once again tried to open Aarons belt and succeded at this time. Now his face was pale white and his eyes were glistenings, but not as stars. Those were tears.

"Zak, dont, Im begging you. Its ok, you dont need to do that, listen to me. You dont need to do that, screw the money, ok?"  
Zak lifted his stare and Aaron caressed his face shyly, his whole body trembling.  
"You danced, now lets talk, as always, _please_ ," smiled Aaron.  
Zak sat next to him.  
"Im sorry, Aaron. I... I just cant do what you asked me to do."  
"Its ok, nevermind."  
"No, its not ok. Its my... its my job."  
"Its your job to suck dicks for money? I thought you are a dancer."  
Zaks eyes flew open and his cheecks shined bright red now.  
"Oh... no, please dont take this bad, I didnt mean it like I said it, Zak, Im... I just dont understand whats going on and Im nervous and Im saying things that sound horrible, even if I dont want to, Im so, so sorry for telling you... _that_."  
Zak breathed out slowly and totally ignored what Aaron just said.  
"No, Im not sucking dicks for money, you _dick_. Im really a dancer. A stripper, maybe. And sometimes Im kissing the customers. It doesnt hurt anyone and... and my paycheck is bigger a little. And from time to time... there are customers like... like _you_. First, they come to watch me dance. Then they want to meet me in private. They want to touch me and kiss me and sometimes I really dont mind, because they are kind to me and handsome and its just for fun. I dont have that much spare time, you know, so Im trying to at least have some fun here, at work. I dont think its a sin, is it? But sometimes the clients want more. They want... _stuff_ like you do. But it doesnt end with a freaking blowjob, they always, _always_ want more... And, well... I want you to know that I didnt want to do it not because I would think that youre not kind or handsome... Youre one of the nicest clients I ever had. You told me that I dont need to do it if I dont want to. You know, sometimes there are customers that are... forcing me to do things that I dont want to do, worse things than just a blowjob, believe me and they arent so nice to me as you are, but I still need to do what they want, because... because thats how I live."  
A little silver tear glistened in the corner of Zaks eye.  
"I cant quit. I cant just leave. Mister Nowak... he... the more clients like you I have, the more money he gives me. Im sending all of the money to my mom, because shes alone. And... he wouldnt let me go. So... yeah. Maybe you were right. Im just sucking dicks for money."  
Aaron sat there frozen, not knowing what to do or say.  
"I dont always like it, you know? But thats not the worst part. The worst part are people like you. They start to like me, more than just physically. When it all is just about the body, its ok. Sometimes I... I feel used and empty, but... its just the body, who cares then? But when it gets emotional, the people get obsessed, you know? Clingy. And sometimes even dangerous. Im sorry, Aaron, but I somehow feel that youre kinda... into me. And Im just scared whats gonna happen this time. I would actually kinda like to do what you wanted me to do, but... I dont want... I dont want you to fall in love with me, because _I cant_ fall in love with you. It would just make everything so complicated. You will start to need me just for yourself and then... And I cant lose another client. I just cant afford that, my own life depends on it. And yet Im here, refusing to do something you paid for, something that I need to do. Are you gonna... tell mister Nowak that you dont want to visit me again because I didnt do what you wanted me to?"  
"Its ok, Zak, I swear. Im gonna just visit you and talk to you, ok? I wont do anything you dont want to. And Im not gonna leave you."  
"Oh, fuck, so you _are_ into me..." Zak covered his face with his hands.  
"Zak... Ok, maybe a little bit, but... now I just dont know what to do. I dont know how things like these work! You dont want to lose a client, ok, so Im not gonna leave, but you actually want me to leave for some reason, so... what should I do now? Stay and make you feel uncomfortable? Leave and risk your... life or what? What are they doing to you, Zak? What is mister Nowak doing to you? Is he not behaving good towards you? Is he holding you here? Forcing you to do stuff that you dont like? And when you dont want to, how does he deal with that? Is he hurting you or what?"  
Zak was completely silent for a long time. Aaron understood.  
"Ok, you dont want to talk about it, so I take it like as the answer to my questions is _yes_. I cant let him do that to you. Im gonna beat that motherfucker up, I swear to God, Im..."  
"No, please, please dont," Zak threw himself around Aaron to prevent him from standing up and running to the club owners office.  
"It would be just worse, believe me."  
Aaron held Zak in his embrace, feeling Zaks heart beat fast as a heart of a frightened bird against his own chest.  
"Ok, I wont. I wont do anything that you wouldnt want me to."  
Zak leaned on Aarons shoulder with his head.  
"You know what? You really are the best client I ever had. And I kinda like you... thats why Im so scared."  
Aaron heard something click behind his back. He knew what it is.

_The lightbulb. The fucking light turned red for sure._

"Our time is over, Aaron. Thanks for... understanding me. So... see you next week?"  
"Yeah, as always..."  
"Alright. Bye," Zak kissed Aaron on his cheeck and left. Aaron tried to process all the informations and after a while, when he was sure that his legs dont feel like jelly anymore, he left too.

\------------

"Hello, mister Goodwin," heard Aaron a slightly familiar voice behind his back.  
"Oh, hello mister Nowak," answered he. It was the club owner.  
"Were you satisfied with our boy today?"  
"Um, yeah... he didnt... he didnt want to do the... _things_ I paid for."  
"He didnt?"  
Aaron was ready to tell the club owner that he is gonna beat the shit out of him and then call the police, but he remembered that he promised Zak that he wont do that, so he just said:  
"No, but... thats ok."  
"So I assume that you want your money back."  
"No, I dont. I actually enjoyed my time with Zak, even without the... intimacy, you know."  
"I see..." the club owner pierced Aaron with his stare. "Well, it seems like you have affection for our oldest boy, am I right?"  
"Kinda," admitted Aaron.  
"Great! Then maybe you would like to listen to my newest offer."  
"What offer?"  
"What would you say if I told you that you need to pay just once and you will be able to keep our oldest boy just to yourself like... forever? And that you could do anything you would like to do with him whether he likes it or not?"  
"I dont think that I understood this right..."  
"I think you did, mister Goodwin."  
"You mean that... you want to _sell_ Zak to me?"  
The club owner just smiled and winked.  
"Why would you do that?"  
"Um... how to explain it to you... Well, when our boys get older, they arent catching the eye of our clients anymore, but I dont want to throw them out to live on the streets, so... And I thought that Zak would be well in your hands."  
"So you care about whats gonna happen to your... _boys_?"  
"No, mister Goodwin, not really, but you seem to care about Zak and I just thought that maybe you would consider buying him from me, thats all."  
"I dont think so. Buying people as _slaves_ , thats not the kind of bussiness that I want to be involved in."  
"Even if it would be just one million dollars?"  
" _Just_ one?"  
"Come on, mister Goodwin, I know that you have enough money for me to say that its _just_ one million."  
"Sorry, but Im not interested."  
"Alright then, I guess that I need to offer Zak to someone else. I actually have one customer, so... I just thought that our oldest boy would be better in your hands, but... nevermind. Im sorry for bothering you. Goodnight, mister Goodwin."  
The club owner turned away and Aaron just shook his head.

_Selling people... is this man mad? I would never buy a person... but wait! If Im not gonna buy Zak, then someone else might and if there would be nobody to pay for him... whats gonna happen to him? And... if someone else is gonna buy him, doesnt it mean that I wouldnt be able to see Zak ever again?_

"Mister Nowak! Wait!"

The club owner turned back.

"I´ll do it. Im goona buy Zak," said Aaron, his voice firm.  
The owners lips formed a creepy smile as he said: "Alright, follow me to my office, please."

\----

"Sit down, please," the club owner pointed his finger on the sofa. "A drink, maybe?"  
Aaron waved his hand when the club owner offered him a glass of whiskey.  
"Lets go to the point, mister Nowak."  
"Dont be impatient, mister Goodwin, we need to discuss some things before we focus on the _trade_."  
"What things?"  
"For example... I know that I said that I dont care that much about my boys, but... I would like to know whats gonna happen with Zak. What plans do you have?"  
"Plans? Well... I dont know, you asked me to buy him like three minutes ago, I didnt have a lot of time to think about everything... But you can be sure, that Im gonna behave nice to him. I will make sure that he has everything he needs and feels comfortable as much as possible."  
The club owner turned to face Aaron and his stare was almost dreamy, when he said: "Wow, you are really into him, arent you?"  
"What makes you think that?"  
"Oh, come on, would you pay so much money for someone who would mean nothing to you? I dont think so. You can buy a prostitute, if you care just about sex, not to mention that it would cost you way less money. By the way, I can easily tell that Zak means something more to you just by the way your voice suddenly changes when you talk about him."  
Aaron blushed hard and the club owner laughed a little.  
"You dont need to worry, mister Goodwin, I know damn well what love can do. I understand why you are doing it and your reason is enough for me to sell Zak to you, because Im sure he will be just fine with you. But Im a bussiness man, after all. So lets talk about the price."  
"You said one million dollar. And I agree."  
"Well... actually, its two now."  
"Two million? But you told me..."  
"That was earlier, mister Goodwin. You didnt agree to my first offer. Now Im raising the price. Take it or leave it."  
"Alright, Im gonna take it," said Aaron without hesitating. The club owner opened a drawer and took out a messy pile of papers and documents.  
"So," breathed he out slowly, "here... Zaks ID, his passport documents, his medical documentation... its clean as you can see... I think thats all."  
"And... the payment?"  
"Oh, of course. Come to my club tommorow at 8pm and bring the money. Cash. Two million dollars. And please... dont tell anybody. You dont want Zak to get hurt and Im sure that it would happen if the police would be included. Not to mention that I dont want to explain our trade to the Internal Revenue Service and neither do you, am I right?"  
"So... we wont sign a deal or something?"  
"Mister Goodwin... would you really add your signature under something that convicts you of human trafficking?"  
"No, not really."  
"I knew it. So, no contract. Just mine and your word given as a promise that everything will be our secret. If you are able to bring the cash tomorrow at 8pm, go right to the room number 6, its down the hallway. I will be waiting there with Zak. Please, be there in time, Im gonna wait like... 5 minutes, but then... the deal is over. Oh, and dont forget to bring a car, a bigger one will be better. The parking space number 3 will be reserved for you."  
"And... thats it? Nothing more?"  
"Nothing more, nothing less. How did you think that these things are made?"  
"I dont know, Im just surprised that its that easy, you know, to buy someone..."  
"If you have enough money, then many things arent that difficult as they used to be. Or as they seemed to be. So... do we have a deal, mister Goodwin? Yes or no?"  
"Yes. We have a deal."

\-----------

Aaron was so nervous, that he spoke to Billy about his plans in the end. As he assumed, Billy found that idea horrible.  
"Are you just out of your mind, bro? Its illegal!"  
"I know! But what was I supposed to do? Say no and leave Zak at the club where they would... I actually dont even know what would happen to him!"  
"Listen, Aaron, I know that you like that guy, a lot, but this is dangerous, this is dangerous, for you, for us, for our company, do you understand that?"  
"Yeah, I do, I fucking do, but I have no choice! I cant leave him there! I need to get him out of the club and if this is the only way to do it, if this is the only safe way to get Zak out of there, I will do it, no matter what. But Billy, please, please, I need your help. I need you to prepare the plane and the travel documents for a flight to Norway and a cruise to Seiland. For us and for Zak. Here, these are Zaks travel documents."  
"Are you crazy? You mean us like... you and me?"  
"Me, you, Jay and Dakota. And Zak. Were gonna spend some time at my cabin at Seiland. And please, tell Astrid that I may need some people, so I want her to be prepared."  
"Astrid? Our norwegian sales specialist?"  
"Yeah, shes the only one person out there besides of you, guys, whom I trust the most. Tell her that Im gonna call her during our flight to Norway and tell her all the details."  
"This is nuts, Aaron!"  
"Again, Billy, I know! So please... take it like as if this is my birthday gift, ok?"  
"Its Christmas, not April."  
"Billy, _please_..."  
"Alright... Im gonna do that for you. So? What number is the parking spot again? 3?"

\----------

It was 7:45pm and Aaron was nervously shifting from one foot to another, waiting in front of room 6. After two another minutes the club owner appeared in the dark hallway.  
"Oh, mister Goodwin! You came a little earlier, but thats actually alright. Do you have the money?"  
"Yes," Aaron handed the club owner a full bag. Mister Nowak didnt even bother to count them.  
"Youre not gonna... you know, control the bag?"  
"Why? I thought that we believe each other, right?"  
"Right."  
"Sweet. Come on, lets go for Zak."  
He unlocked the door and paused in his movement.  
"Oh, I nearly forgot, here, take this," said the club owner and handed Aaron a wet tissue.  
"Whats that?"  
"Um... chloroform."  
"Chloroform?? Zak doesnt know that hes going to leave with me?"  
"Well... not exactly. I know what you want to say, mister Goodwin, but please, lets not complicate this, ok? Now we are going inside, you are gonna make Zak sleep a little and then we are gonna take him out through the back door, right to the parking space number three, where, at least I hope so, is parking the car you should have brought here. Any other questions?"  
Aaron had a few, but he rather shook his head.  
"Alright, so... lets go."  
The club owner opened the door. Zak was standing inside the room and he was actually surprised to see Aaron.  
"You? I thought that... what are you doing here, Aaron? Where is Jake? Mister Nowak? Whats going on?"

Aaron stood frozen.

_Jake... so he really does have other clients that can meet him in private..._

"For Gods sake, Goodwin, what are you waiting for?" shouted the club owner and ripped the tissue out of Aarons hand.  
"Can you at least hold him so he wont escape?"  
"What the fuck is..." 

_...going on?_ wanted Zak to ask, but Aaron gripped him from behind in a tight embrace. The club owner did the rest and was talking to Zak like to a little child...

"Shh, hush, hush, good boy, its ok, its ok..."

...until he became weak and all sleepy in Aarons arms.

It actually took a lot of time, before Zak stopped to fight them. The club owner injected a strange, blue liquid into the vein on Zaks neck.   
"This will keep him asleep when the chloroform stops working," said he like as if it was the most common thing in the world, like buying bread or waking up in the morning. "Its perfectly safe, dont worry. He will sleep for about... 20 hours, maybe. If it would be longer, then... well... You should check his breathing from time to time. Now help me a little, we need to get him in the car."  
Then the two man took Zaks paralyzed body down the hallway to the back door. Billy was waiting there in the car, ready in his driver seat, the door to the backseat open.  
"Oh my God, you killed him?" gasped he for air when Aaron and the club owner shoved Zaks motionless figure inside.  
"No, you fucking idiot, hes just sleeping, so shut the hell up."  
Aaron crawled to the back seat next to Zak, whos head fell down onto to his shoulder. The club owner closed the door behind him and leaned onto the car.  
"Alright, thats it. Zak is now yours, mister Goodwin. It would be better to... take him somewhere, at least for a few days, you know what I mean?"  
"Yeah, I thought about that. Were flying to Europe."  
"Europe? Great! Zak will be excited for sure! Oh, here are a few things, I packed them for Zak, here," the club owner shoved a backpack through the car window. "Well, it was a pleasure to make a deal with you, mister Goodwin. Hhave fun!"  
...and disappeared back into the club.  
"Ready?" asked Billy and started the car even before Aaron responded.


	2. Norway

The flight was calm. Billy prepared a private plane and all of the documents like Aaron wanted him to prepare and his closest colleagues, Jay and Dakota were there too. Zak was still sleeping and Aaron was worried a little bit, but it was 7 hours from the moment they left the club and that meant that Zak would be asleep for at least the next 13 hours.

"How long is he gonna be... you know, sleeping?" asked Jay, when he poked Zaks arm and nothing happened.  
"The man said that it can be to 20 hours..." Aaron checked Zaks pulse.

_Alright... at least he is still alive..._

"Thats good, the flight will take another 7 hours."  
"The whole flight will take 14 hours?" Billy didnt like long flights, because he was a little bit scared of actually floating in the air so high above the ground that it couldnt be seen.  
"Maybe a little longer. Were gonna land in Tromso and a smaller plane will take us to Aarons island."  
"So he could be asleep until we will be safe with him at my cabin," added Aaron.  
"Yeah, probably," nodded Jay.  
"And what are you gonna do with him when he wakes up?" wanted Billy to know. "You said something about him not actually knowing about coming to Norway with you. What are you gonna do? Im sure hes gonna have a lot of questions."  
"Im gonna tell him the truth," responded Aaron simply.  
"Like what? That you bought him? And he is now... what is he now? Your slave? Aaron, Im used to manipulate people, but Im not used to... command them or watch over them with a gun pointing at their heads or something..."  
"What the fuck are you talking about, Billy? Hes not my slave, hes gonna be my guest."  
"Yeah, a guest that cant leave when he wants to. So he wont be your slave, hes just gonna be your prisoner."  
"No! I dont know! Billy... what was I supposed to do? I couldnt just leave him there! The owner fucking sold him, drugged him with God knows what that shit was just to get rid of him, because Zak didnt make so much money in these day! What would happen to him if it wouldnt be me? If I wouldnt buy him? I know, it sounds gross, to buy someone, but I had no other choice! This or the thought of leaving Zak to someone, who could be abusing him or worse! I just didnt want him to die, ok? What would you do, Billy? You would leave him there, to die? I dont think so! So shut the fuck up, Billy, take a seat and please, hold your mouth until we get to Tromso, thank you."  
Aaron turned his face to the window, although everything that could be seen outside, was just plain darkness. Nobody said a word for the other 7 hours, until they landed in Norway and the need to talk about the rest of their journey made them talkative again.  
"Thats Astrid," Billy answered the call on his cellphone. "Yeah? Ok, thank you. No, no, just a Christmas party. Yeah, maybe for a week or two. No, I dont know. Um... Aarons friend. No, its not their first date, Astrid. I need to go, thanks for everything. Yeah, Im gonna tell him that. Thank you."  
Billy ended the call.  
"Your cabin is ready. Supplies, towels, you know, everything. Astrid sent about 15 people to Seiland, shes gonna email you the number of the house they will be staying at, if you would need them. She asked how long we will stay, so I told her that were gonna stay for about two weeks, I hope I gave her the correct info."  
"Yes, you did," said Aaron, still being mad at Billy.  
"She also asked me about Zak. Im sorry if _friend_ wasnt the right word, but I didnt know what to tell her."  
"Its ok, Billy, dont worry about that."  
"Guys, we need to go, the plane to Seiland is ready," interrupted Jay their conversation.  
Aaron took Zak in his arms and carried him through the airport hall, not minding the few other people that were currently around watching them suspiciously, to the plane.

\------

(23.12.)

It was getting darker outside. The beautiful scenery of Seiland island in winter was something that Aaron was never tired of. Zak was still sleeping on the bed Aaron had prepared for him. The lamps were off and the only source of light was the fire crackling in the fireplace.

And then Aaron noticed that Zak is slowly opening his eyes.  
"Hey, hey, slowly..." helped Aaron to lay Zak back down to the bed, when he tried to get up but his body wasnt working right.  
"My head... it fucking hurts so much... what happened? Where am I?"  
"Um... its Seiland, Zak."  
"Seiland? Like... somewhere in Canada or what?"  
"No... its Seiland island. In Norway."  
"Norway?" Zak tried to stand up again. "What the hell am I doing in Norway? Wait a sec... what the fuck are _we_ doing in Norway?!"  
Aaron pushed him back to the pillows gently.  
"Zak, listen closely... I dont know how to explain it to you, but now... we are together."  
"Together? What do you mean?"  
"You are with me here, because... I brought you here, because... Because I thought that it would be nice to spent some time together, alone, somewhere... far from Las Vegas and the club."  
"So I was right! You kidnapped me! I knew its gonna happen!"  
"What?"  
"Last time, when someone was behaving to me like you, he kidnapped me from the club and we spent tree days in his apartment, before mister Nowak found us."  
"No, Zak, I didnt kidnap you, because... I didnt need to. Now... you are mine."  
"Yours?! What the fuck do you mean by that?"  
"I paid _money_ for you. I _bought you_ from the club owner. You were his property, I offered money to him and he agreed to _sell_ you to me."  
"WHAT??"  
"Yep. He wanted 2 milion dollars."  
"2 MILION DOLLARS?" shouted Zak. He never had so much money, he just had this... pocket money that his owner gave him to buy drinks, snacks or books, but he never really knew how it works when you shop alone for household items... or clothes... or... _people_... And two million dollars? Zak couldnt even imagine what he could do or buy with so much money. Who would pay so much money for... a man whos only talent is to strip his clothes?  
"Yeah, I was shocked too."  
"2 milion dollars?" repeated Zak.  
"I was prepared to offer him... like... I dont know... ten... maybe fifteen..."  
"...thousand dollars?" suggested Zak, trying to calculate how much money would he pay if he would _buy himself_.

_Yeah, 15 thousand dollars, that would be enough to pay for a dancer thats too old to amaze young customers._  
Aaron smiled and shook his head.  
"15 _milion_ dollars."

Zak held his breath and Aaron noticed that.

"Money means nothing to me, Zak. And if he would ask for 40 milions, I would pay that price."  
"But... why?"  
"I wanted to _have_ you," smiled Aaron. "I wanted you to live a better life."

Zak rolled his eyes.

"Thats great. If you care so much about me, why didnt you ask me if I want to go with you?"  
"You would agree?"  
"I dont think so and thats the point! What if I dont want to be here? With _you_?"  
"So you would rather stay at the club? Doing things that you dont like with creepy people?"

Zak sighed.

"No... but... I just... I just want to be free, you know, to live my life, to be _me_ , to be on my own, I dont want to be someones... property anymore."  
"Well... If this is what you want, then... Im gonna set you free, but you need to play a game with me."  
"What game?"  
"Try to make me fall for you."  
"Huh? Whats this? Another _random idea_ , like the one with the blowjob?"  
"Probably."  
"Aaron, wat the fuck are you talking about?"  
"You are mine now and I will take care of you. Im gonna give you everything you need. You can have whatever you want. Say a word and I will take care of it. Point your finger and whatever its gonna be, it will be yours. Do you have any dreams?"  
Zak still didnt quite understand what Aaron talks about.  
"Um... I... I always wanted to write books..."  
"Ok, but... I meant... like... for example, is there any country you wanted to visit?"  
"I dont know... maybe... Romania."  
"Alright, you want to visit Romania, so... how about tommorow?"  
"What? Tommorow? But..."  
"See? Its that easy. You want something? Books? Clothes? A trip to a country in Europe? I can give you anything. Name it and you will get it. Including... me... in some ways. Thats my offer. Im gonna take care of you and you will be my... I dont know... um... friend? You are gonna stay with me at my house. I wont force you to do things that you dont like, so... I want you to dance for me. I want you to... kiss me. I want... in short I want you to do the same things as you did when you were working at the club, if you dont mind of course..."  
"So that means that you want me to suck your dick before you go to sleep and you will buy me a dress as a reward," hissed Zak. "Im not a Gold Digger, dude, and I dont want you to be my sugar daddy."  
"No, Zak, you see it from the wrong side. Im gonna take care of your needs and you are gonna take care of mine. Im gonna give you everything and I just want your attention in return, because... because thats how you can win."  
"Oh my God, win what?"  
"The game of course. Okay... Again. I want you to play a game with me. If you win, Im gonna set you free with enough money to live your life to the fullest and I wont claim you as _mine_ anymore. If you want to play, Im gonna give you anything you need, Im gonna make sure that you are feeling comfortable in any way as long as we are gonna play the game. You are mine, so I can actually do anything I would like to do with you, but... I dont want to scare you, I want you to feel good, so... Im not gonna force you to do anything, unless you will tell me that you are ready to do... something. Thats my part in the game."  
Zak was scared to ask, but... what if this would be the chance to finally be free?

_I mean... being forced to do things under the threat of being murdered if I wont do them or playing some weird fifthy shades of grey game with the chance to win the freedom? Well... I dont know if its better, but... at least there is a little chance..._

"And whats my part?"  
"Well... Convince me to have sex with you."  
Zak almost passed out.  
"Are you kidding me?"  
"No. Convince me to sleep with you and you will be free in the next morning."  
"But I dont want to... You dont want to...? I thought thats what you... oh! Fuck!" cursed Zak when he finally understood.  
"So, Im gonna be with you until I will be able to force you to sleep with me. That means that I _need_ to do... stuff. Like... like what stuff do you imagine me to do? I dont know... kiss you? Tease you? Beg you? Call you daddy and wear bunny ears?"  
"Youre so cute, Zak," laughed Aaron. "It sounds good, but... Its all up to _your_ imagination. Just try to win me. Try to make me fall for you. If you will be able to make me drag you in the bedroom and sleep with you, you are the winner."  
"Why should I agree to this?"  
"You dont need to. But... if you dont want to play the game, maybe I could just take you, right here, right now..."  
Aaron made a step closer.  
"...without asking questions, without caring if you like it or not..."  
Aaron wrapped his arm around Zaks waist and Zak gasped for air, when he realized that without giving the permission to "walk" to his legs in his brain, he also stepped a little closer to Aaron.  
"...without giving you the chance to escape..."  
Aaron leaned to Zak, brushing his lips over Zaks jawline.  
Zak collected himself enough to push him away.  
"Stop! Stop! Just... stop. I... I just need to think about it. Why do you want to... play a game, when you can just... I dont know, rape me, kill me and throw me into the ocean where the sharks will feed on my dead body?"  
Aaron laughed again.  
"I like you too much to do something like that to you, Zak. I want you to be happy, and I know that means that I need to set you free, but I want to spend some time with you, so I dont want to do it now... Enough. Its all or nothing. You have two options. Youre gonna play the game and maybe Im gonna be weak enough someday to succumb to your charms and you will win the freedom you want. If you dont want to play, well... then I wont be calling you _mine_. Im gonna call you a _slave_."  
"But that means that I have no choice! There is no other option then to play this fucked up 50 shades of grey style game with you! Is this, like, I dont know, your kink or something? Are you gonna show me your red room full of weird sex toys as the next step?"  
"No, Zak, I think that in the movie those characters loved each other. You dont love me. And I dont love you. Its different."  
"So... its still just about the body?"  
"Yeah, Zak, just about the body."

Aaron lied. He knew that its not just because he has this desire to touch Zak, to kiss him. The main part was that all that Aaron wanted, was in fact a little more time with Zak, than just a hour. He wanted to watch him, talk to him, listen to his voice and his laughter and to spent the eternity drowning in his eyes, but he was too afraid to admit it, becase he knew that it would just scare Zak.

_If I tell him that I like him, he will try to run away. Maybe if he thinks that its just about the sex he will be less worried, maybe he will play by my rules and one day... Yeah, its selfish, I know, but..._

"Alright then..."  
"What about your head? Does it still hurt?"¨  
"No, its better, thanks... what happened?"  
"Um... the club owner... I think that he gave you some drugs to make you fall asleep. Here, drink," Aaron handed Zak a glass of cold water.  
"Im gonna leave you alone now to... process it all, you know? Take a rest, eat something," Aaron waved to a table full of food that Zak didnt even notice, "watch tv, you can take a shower or a bath, do anything you want to... Meet me tomorrow to tell me if you want to play the game or not. If you would need something, if you wouldnt feel well, just ring the bell, one of my friends, Billy or Jay, will come running, okay?"  
Zak was too surprised with everything that Aaron told him, so he just nodded his head and watched Aaron leave. He would swear that he heard him lock the door with a key, but his body felt too numb to try and go check on it. 

_So he didnt kidnap me... he bought me... I dont know whats worse..._

Zak remained lying on the bed in complete darkness, motionless and without a sound until he felt so tired that he wasnt able to keep his eyes open and fell asleep again.

\----------

(24.12.)

It was 9am, when Zak woke up. He took a shower, because...

_...why not? Its nice to have my own bath, to not think about how much water Im gonna waste..._

...brushed his teeth and headed out of his room to find Aaron. Although he would swear he heard they key move in the lock after Aaron left, the door wasnt locked at all. The house was big but luckily not too enormous to get lost inside of it and after a while he found Aaron in a room, that Zak described for himself as an _office_.

Aaron was sitting on a small couch and he was putting on his shoes at the exact moment Zak entered the room without knocking.

"Hey there... what are you doing here?" Aaron was surprised.  
"I was searching for you," purred Zak and ran without warning right to Aaron and jumped in his lap. He wrapped his arms around Aarons neck. Aaron leaned into the couch.  
"I thought about your offer and I..."  
Aaron placed his hands on Zaks thighs.   
"I want to play the game."  
"Really?" smiled Aaron and ran his hands up over Zaks thighs up to his waist. "Okay, so now..."  
He wanted to say something, but Zak didnt give him a chance, because he unexpectedly kissed Aaron right on the lips. Aaron froze for a second, he didnt expect that to happen, but he quickly gave in to the kiss and he moaned a little bit silently into Zaks mouth, when Zak moved his hips to brush his body against Aarons and for a while Zak suddenly felt scared, scared of himself, because the quiet sound of Aarons moan sent shivers down his whole body, from his head to his toes and it was like a jolt of electricity, but he tried to shake that feeling off and focus on his plan.  
He moved his lips away from Aarons a leaned down to his neck, leaving wet, red spots as he sucked on Aarons skin. Aaron moved his hands to Zaks ass and again, Zak heard him moan silently and shortly, it was more like a quick deep breath, more like a sigh than a moan, and Zak found himself biting that little spot above Aarons colarbone again, just because he _wanted_ to hear him moan again and it felt weird and funny, but just Zak couldnt stop himself from that craving.

_He is moaning, that means Im doing good. I just cant stop now and its because I want to win the game, not because I... want to hear him moan because... it makes me crazy... Its not... like that._

"Fuck me," whispered he in Aarons ear and tried to unbuckle Aarons pants with one hand. Aarons grip on Zaks asscheeks tightened.  
"You really want it?" asked Aaron, his eyes still closed.  
"Yeah," mumbled Zak and focused back on Aarons neck.  
"Look at me," said Aaron and Zak looked straight in his eyes. Aaron smiled a little and kissed him again. When he broke the kiss, he laughed.  
"What?" Zak blinked a few times and tried to kiss Aaron again, but he pushed Zak to the side and left him on the couch alone.  
"You thought it would be that easy?"  
"What? No! I..."  
"Zak, Im not dumb, I know this was planned. Thats not how the game works, Im not gonna give up just because you bite me on my neck. I dont think you understood the game. I think we need some rules for it."  
"Rules? What the hell are you talking about?"  
Aaron sat down behind the table and pointed at a chair opposite him.  
"Sit down."

Zak rolled his eyes.  
"This _definitely_ is like freaking 50 shades of grey."  
"Okay, so... have a seat, _please_."  
Zak sighed but sat down on the chair in the end.  
"So, mr. Grey, are we gonna sign a dominant-submissive contract between us or what?"  
"I dont know what you are talking about."  
"Thats what these two dorks do... in the movie."  
"Which movie?"  
"50 shades of grey, for Gods sake! You havent seen it yet?"  
"Actually no... I never felt like watching something like that."  
"Then how do you know that they loved each other?"  
"Because I read the review. I know that she was submissive to this rich guy and he treated her like shit and that he was kinda into kinky stuff, but he fell in love with her in the end. But I dont know what contract they signed. Im not gonna sign a contract with you. We are not gonna sign anything, we just need to set the rules for the game."  
"Okay," waved Zak his hand. "So?"  
"So... the game will start today at midnight."  
"That means that I didnt need to..."  
"No, Zak, you didnt need to kiss me and touch me."  
"Why didnt you tell me earlier?"  
"Yeah, youre right, I could... but maybe I just didnt want to..." Aaron smiled and blushed, lowering his stare shyly and Zak just gulped, trying to suppress the panic when he realized, that he finds Aaron _cute_ , when he is smiling and blushing like that, like an innocent, young boy who is in the presence of someone, whom he adored from afar, for the first time.

"Rule number one..." started Aaron and wrote the number on a paper. "We will play the game, until _you_ will be able to win. That means that you cant just quit."  
"I see, but it also means that _you_ arent able to stop the game either. And you cant just say something like _Zak, I want to fuck you, but I dont want you to leave, so lets stop the game, now Im gonna just rape you and then kill you and hide your cold body in my wine cellar_."  
"Why are you still thinking that I want to rape and murder you?" raised Aaron his eyebrows.  
"I dont know, the mob does it all the time."  
"Im not a mobster, Zak."  
"Youre a _manager_ , thats almost the same thing. You have a huge house, many cars, a ship, an island somewhere in northern Europe, a cabin that looks like a wooden mansion, you can buy anything, so that means you have money, and... and you are kidnapping people!"  
Aaron laughed out loud.  
"What?" shouted Zak. "You kidnapped me!"  
"I _bought_ you, thats different."  
"Yeah, you _bought_ me, like meat, and thats indeed _a lot_ different, thank you so much for making my life that great," said Zak sarcastically.  
Aaron just sighed.  
"No one is gonna rape you, Zak. We arent able to stop the game, so you cant just run away and I cant just say that I want to... sleep with you without setting you free the next day."  
"Oh yeah, write that down too," suggested Zak and Aaron did it.  
"Okay... so... you know how to win, rigt?"  
"Of course, I need to force you to sleep with me."  
"I wouldnt say _force_ ," smiled Aaron, "I would rather think of it as of _convincing_ me to do that..."  
"Where is the difference?"  
"Are we really going that way again?" raised Aaron his left eyebrow and gave Zak an impatient stare.  
Zak smirked, but at least he didnt say anything.  
"So, rule number two... Im gonna take care of you, in any way you will need."  
"Does it mean that I cant go out?"  
"Why would taking care of you mean that you cant go out?"  
"I just thought that... nevermind."  
"Tell me, Zak. I want you to feel good with me, I dont want to do something you wouldnt like. If you arent happy about something, if there is something that bothers you, something that worries you, I want to know everything about it, so I... so I can make it better."  
"Well... there is a thing. Am I your... property?"  
"Technically, yes. But when it comes to how do I think of you? No. Well... at least you arent like... I dont know, my slave. You dont need to do something, even if I would like to do that. But..."  
"I just want to know, if I can go out to... I dont know, a library, maybe? Like... without letting you know?"  
"No, Zak, and Im gonna write that down as rule number three. You can go out, but with me or after getting a permission from me. I dont want you to just disappear. And whenever you will feel like you want to go somewhere without me, Jay or Billy will keep you company."  
"Are you serious right now?"  
"Yes, I am. I know you would run away if you would get the chance and I just dont want to risk that."  
"I suppose that Im not able to do or say something to make you change rule number three."  
"Thats right, youre not."  
"You said you wont force me to do something I dont want to do."  
"Zak... this is just because of our... safety, you know? Im gonna do everything for you, when we start to play. But under one simple condition - you will _NOT_ leave without letting me know, ok?"  
"If its necessary... Alright then, what other things am I not allowed to do?"  
"You can do whatever you want, Zak. And you can _get_ whatever you want. What do you want to do?"  
"I... I dont know... Um... I want to have a christmas dinner. I always loved them, when I was a kid, but... as I was older, I kinda stopped... loving them. It was too sad to eat by myself, when other people are with their families and stuff..."  
"Alright, Christmas, I like that idea. Why didnt you tell me earlier?"  
"I dont know, I guess I didnt thought about that until today. Is it too late?"  
"Its a lot of work, but... no. Dont worry. Im gonna take care of it, okay?"  
"Thanks... you know, Aaron, I just dont understand why are you doing this..." changed Zak the topic of their conversation suddenly. "Why me? The first rule... no one can quit the game, but if I just stop teasing you... I could be living like this forever... you will give me everything and I dont really have to do _anything_."  
"Um... yes, you are right," nodded Aaron.  
"Then why are you doing it? You bought me, you could just use me, because you own me, but you came up with this idea for a game... Why?"  
"I told you, that I want you to feel good and comfortable. I dont want to use you. To kiss me, touch me, I want it to be your choice. And maybe Im a little selfish, because I know you will try to win, because it means that Im gonna set you free, so I guess Im gonna win something too... Maybe its because Im afraid you would never... take that step, so I just kinda... created this _situation_ to make sure it will happen one day."  
"Well... at least you seem to be honest," sighed Zak. "An honest mobster. Sorry, _manager_."  
Aaron shook his head, smiling, focusing back on the paper.  
"Rule number four. Whenever you will feel like I should stop doing something, you need to tell me. And I need to stop. So, we need a password."  
"A password? For what? Im just gonna yell _stop touching me you creep_."  
"I think we need one. Sometimes... people are telling someone to stop, but they actually dont want to."  
"Looks like you have a lot of experience," smirked Zak. Aaron just stared at him, apparently not knowing how to respond, and Zak broke the silence when he noticed that what he said made Aaron nervous.  
"Okay, whats the password?"  
"I dont know, maybe a color or something, yellow for example..."  
"Are you sure you never watched 50 shades of grey? I hate how similar it is to what we are doing right now."  
"Alright then... um... blue? Blue is better?"  
"Yeah, blue is fine."  
"So, blue... I got it. Rule number five... I dont know... I dont think I have any other ideas... Do you think there is something you want me to write down as a rule?"  
"Well... let me first get something right... if I force you... or... if I make you... you know, umm... touch me, like... sleep with me, it means that I can go. And you will never contact me again."  
"Yes," said Aaron and lowered his stare a little.  
"I want that to be written down. Write it down. If I win, I will leave and we will never see each other again."  
Aaron hesitated for a few seconds and his hand was visibly shaking.  
"Write it down," said Zak again calmly and Aaron did it, although Zak could tell that he isnt exactly happy about it.  
"Oh, and another thing, what if Im gonna rape you? You know, like... tie you in your sleep and... does that count?"   
Aaron was confused. He didnt know if Zak is serious or joking.  
"Um... I dont know if I understood it right, but... no, Zak, I need to _fuck_ you and _cum_ inside of you, thats how you win."  
Zak froze. For some reason, when Aaron said _those words_ , he felt shivers going from his shoulders over the back of his neck up to his hairline and he needed to shake his body a little to snap out of the feeling it gave him. He never heard Aaron say such words out loud and he wasnt sure about what it is doing with him.  
"Thats something I want to be written down. Anything else?" asked Aaron.  
Zak just shrugged his shoulders.  
"Alright, so... if you agree, Im gonna write down that both of us have two months to think about any other rules. After two months theres gonna be no chance to add or remove some. Is that ok with you?"  
Zak nodded. Aaron noticed that he is strangely quiet, although he had many things to say just a few seconds ago.  
"Are you ok?"  
"I am... I just... I guess you wouldnt understand if I told you how I feel about this all."  
"Try it."  
"I am... Im so angry, so mad... But not at you, Im mad at myself. I know that I was young and I thought that money is everything, so I just took the offer from the club owner, not thinking about what can possibly happen to me and now... now Im here. With you. I dont want to say that its bad, maybe its gonna be better than before, I have at least a chance to _win_ a normal life, but... Its just that... my life... the things in my life... they just didnt go as well as I planned."  
"Nothing is ever going as well as we planned, Zak. Look at me."  
Zak bursted out laughing.  
"What are you talking about? You have literally everything!"  
"Youre wrong, Zak, so wrong. It may seem like I have everything because I have money, but there is something that you cant buy, even if you would have all the money in the world. Its... love. Earlier... I thought that I dont need it, because I was busy with work and I spent the rest of my time travelling, enjoying everything the world has to offer, but... Im getting older and Im... Im so lonely sometimes. I would give everything to have someone, who would just talk to me, embrace me and kiss me, someone who wouldnt care if Im rich or poor, someone who would like me just because its me, not because I have money..."  
Zak stared at Aaron and to his own surprise he realized that he knows damn well what is Aaron talking about.

_Just to have someone, who would caress me, hug me when Im sad, someone who would tell me that everything is gonna be alright..._

"Enough of this depression," smiled Aaron. "I need to go."  
"Where are you going?" wanted Zak to know.   
"I have a meeting, its just some bussiness stuff..."  
"You have a meeting on Christmas day?"  
"I do. Im working hard to have all of the money, you know?"  
"But its Christmas! What about the dinner?"  
"Im gonna be home soon, Zak, dont worry. And Im gonna make sure that _our_ Christmas will be perfect."  
Aaron hugged Zak and smiled at him.  
"Everything is gonna be alright, I promise," said he, before he left Zak in the room alone and completely speechless.

_Did he... Did he really just tell me the exact words that I wanted to hear for so long...?_

\------

Zak returned to his room and spent a few hours in bed, doing nothing, just resting and watching Christmas movies. Finally he was able to watch them alone, in a big, cozy bed that was just his own, same as the whole room, where it was warm and bright, compared against his little room at the clubs basement, that he shared together with three other people. He thought about sneaking out of Aarons cabin and trying to escape, but he realized that it would be a waste of time, because Aarons cabin was on an island, so he wouldnt have any other chance than to swim across the whole ocean to get back home and thats impossible to do.

_Home... Where is my home actually? Do I have a home at all?_

\-----

It was around 5pm when Aaron finally returned. He found Zak sleeping, curled under a furry, warm blanket on a sofa next to the window.  
When Zak had enough of the TV, he moved to the sofa to be able to watch the snow slowly fall from the sky and he fell asleep there. Aaron was glad that Zak didnt try to escape or sneak around the house, because downstairs were many people, Aarons employees, decorating the house, preparing the christmas tree and cooking the dinner. Aaron wanted everything to be just perfect when Zak wakes up, so he gave his employees a few other instructions and went upstairs again, watching Zak sleep, waiting for him to wake up.

Zak opened his eyes a few minutes after Aaron sat down next to him.  
"Merry Christmas, sleepyhead," smiled Aaron, "the dinner is almost done."  
"What time is it?" rubbed Zak his eyes.  
"Its nearly 6pm. Come on, lets go downstairs," Aaron took Zaks hand and led him to the stairs. What Zak saw took his breath away.

The ground floor was lit with dozens of candles and christmas decorations were everywhere, sparkling in the candlelight. The air smelled like cinnamon and oranges and in the middle of the hall was a table full of food and various sweets. The fireplace was crackling and there even was a christmas tree, decorated with white and silver bulbs and chains to make it look like as if it was covered with snow.  
"Aaron..." breathed Zak out.  
"I know, its not that pretty, I mean the tree and stuff, but you can be sure that everyone did their best."  
"Dude! What are you talking about? Its... Its perfect! I have never seen such... I never saw... I never had... Its like magic, like a fairytale!"

Zak turned around and threw himself around Aarons neck.

"Thank you... buddy," whispered Zak and Aaron pulled him closer, feeling Zak slightly tremble in his arms.

_Is he... crying?_

"I didnt want to make you sad, Zak, Im sorry," apologized Aaron.  
"You didnt make me sad," smiled Zak and wiped the tears from his eyes. "You just surprised me, but in a good way and this... this all... you dont even know how much this means to me..."  
"Im glad it made you a little bit happy, Zak, thats all that I wanted."  
Zak still had his arms wrapped around Aarons neck.  
"Can I... can I kiss you?" asked he all off sudden.  
"If you wa..."  
Zak didnt wait for Aaron to finish the sentence and kissed Aaron slowly.  
Aaron felt like he is gonna just push Zak towards the wall, rip his clothes off and kiss every single inch of his body, but he suppressed that urge. Instead of it he just said:  
"The dinner is ready, so..."  
"Oh, yeah, sorry."  
Zak followed Aaron down and sat to the table. Aaron placed an empty plate in front of him. Zak looked confused.  
"You can eat what you want, choose something. Meat, fish, vegan food... I didnt know what you would like the most, so I tried to gather everything I could think of..." Aaron scratched his head.  
"...thanks. Im sorry if I look stupid, Im just not used to... to choose things on my own, you know? If you would put two different candies or books in front of me, maybe I would be able to choose, but... I didnt have my... own stuff. I always sent all the money to my mum, actually, thats the deal I had with mister Nowak - every dollar I earn will be sent to my mum. I just had cash from tips, that was the only money I could use and it wasnt that much... So... sometimes I bought a magazine or a snack, sometimes, when I collected more, I bought a book. The rest was in mister Nowaks hands. I had food and accommodation from him for free... or at least I think it was kinda _for free_. It wasnt the best, but it was enough. I always got a breakfast and a dinner. He also bought clothes for me... I assume that Im a lucky guy, because he actually always bought something that I liked. But again... I wasnt able to choose. So maybe Im gonna be slow or confused sometimes, you know? Its just new a little bit for me..."  
"I understand... How long were you working at the club, by the way?"  
"I started when I was 17, so its... around 25 years."  
Aaron almost choked on his food.

_Quickly, quickly, what should I say?_

"Um... thats a long time."

_Oh fuck, am I really that stupid?_

Zak just laughed and finally chose something to put on his plate. Aaron noticed, that it was a simple piece of tomato slice and he wanted to encourage Zak to take more, but he didnt want to make him uncomfortable, so he didnt say a word about it. Obviously, Zak wasnt the only one who was a little bit confused about the new situation in his life.

"Yeah, it is. But... it actually feels like as if it was just a blink of an eye. Of course, there are... things that are hard to forget, but on the other hand, all the days were so similiar, that sometimes I just didnt know what date is it or if its tuesday or friday, I just always got a... time schedule with names and number of rooms. And I had a performance twice a week, always at 8pm."  
"How could you live like that?"  
"It was hard at the beginning, but I somehow got used to it. And I had no choice. When I met mister Nowak, I was 17 and he offered me a lot of money. I... I did something bad, before I left my home, and there was a high amount of money that my family was forced to pay, so... He told me hes gonna pay me for dancing and personal service. I was young and stupid, I didnt even think about the possibility of _personal service_ being something... dirty or illegal. When I found out what that term means, it was already too late. I tried to speak with mister Nowak about it, but he told me that I should have thought twice about selling my soul to the Devil and he gave me two options - to stay and do the things that he tells me to do or go and maybe read about my mums death in the newspaper on the next morning. What would you choose, huh?"  
"I would stay, of course," whispered Aaron. He didnt know about this. He knew that Zak isnt working at the club because he would want to, but this...  
"Yeah, everyone would. Many guys were in a similiar situation as I was. I once tried to escape actually, but... I didnt even make it to the back door, so..." shrugged Zak his shoulder.  
Aaron was still shocked because of Zaks story, but he also noticed that while Zak was talking, he filled his plate and now he was even eating all of the stuff he took and it calmed Aaron a little bit down.  
"Now youre here, Zak, you dont need to worry anymore."  
"Well, if you promise me to not shoot me if I try to escape, then I will be less worried."  
"Im not gonna shoot you, I promise, but please, dont try to run away," panicked Aaron and Zak laughed out loud.  
"I was just kidding, you jerk. I remember your weird rules, you can calm down. So? What are we gonna do now?"  
"Now? I have some presents for you... I wanted to give them to you tommorow, but... I need to leave early in the morning, so we need to try the european way of celebrating Christmas, which is opening the presents right after the dinner."  
"Presents...? For me? Oh... thank you, but when I asked what are we gonna do now, I meant it like... we. Together. What does it mean? What do you think about _us_? Should I... call you my boyfriend? Or what? And those guys that are around you, Bill and Jack or..."  
"Billy and Jay."  
"Yeah, these two men, who are they? Is it only you who is allowed to tell me what to do or...?"  
"Billy and Jay are my colleagues and my best friends. Dakota, I dont think I mentioned him, is my assistant, but you wont see him often. One of these three guys will be watching over you whenever I wont be around."  
"I think they actually hate me already."  
"Why?"  
"Nobody would be happy, if you would force them to _babysit_ a grown up man."  
Aaron left that comment unnoticed.  
"You dont need to call me boyfriend, Zak. Were not dating, unless you would want to call it that way. So what are we? Friends? I dont know, I just wanted to have you around and I was worried about you, so I bought you. To get you out of there. I didnt think about it, the club owner asked me one day and the next one... I carried your motionless body to my car, so... I dont have any specific plans... Were gonna do whatever you would like to, but I also need to work, so we wont be together every day. I told Billy that you are my guest."  
"A guest that isnt able to leave..."

_Funny how he has the same though as Billy had..._ thought Aaron.

"You know what? I want another rule," said he. "No questions about _what we are_ because I just dont know, ok? Its you and me, together. Thats all."  
"Ok..."  
"So... what about the presents?" smiled Aaron. Zak hesitated.  
"Come on, its not a whip and a rope, I promise."  
Zak gave Aaron a frightened stare.  
"It was a joke," explained Aaron. "You joke about stuff like that all the time, so I thought that it could clean the atmosphere a little."  
Zak just smiled.  
"I always knew that youre an idiot, Goodwin."

Aaron then took Zak to the living room and Zak gasped in surprise. The christmas tree was surrounded by presents and as far as Zak could see, every box had a tag with his name on it.  
"These are... for me?"  
"Yeah."  
"Isnt it... a little bit... I dont mean to offend you, but... isnt it too much? Its like... thirty boxes."  
"I dont know, I lost count when I got to... like... the twentieth gift."  
"But when did you got all of those presents? Are you... like a secret Santa of mine?"  
"If you would like to call it that way..."  
"Wait, you didnt have a meeting today, did you? You went out to shop for presents."  
Aaron didnt say a word, he just blushed hard and his ears were bright red.  
"But I dont have any gifts for you."  
"Dont think about that."  
"But... it was my idea, the whole Christmas thing. And you got me so many presents and I dont have a single one for you. Why did you got me so many?"  
"Well... you said that you didnt celebrate Christmas. I thought that it would be nice to compensate you all of the years you didnt got a present."  
"Thats... actually... somehow kind of you. But still I feel bad for not having a present for you."  
"Zak... you... your presence is the best gift for me."  
"A gift that you stole in fact."  
"A gift that I saved from being wasted. From getting hurt."  
"You _bought_ me, thats different. Why did you kidnap me?"  
"Because I knew you wouldnt be into going with me if I asked you to."  
"That actually doesnt change a thing, thats maybe just more wrong! You are a sicko who goes that far that he buys a person, just because you want to have him."  
"No, Zak, I needed to save you."  
"Call it however you want to, still it was a selfish act. You dont care about me. What I think doesnt matter to you, thats why you kidnapped me."  
"You are wrong, Zak, it does matter to me, _you_ matter to me. And I swear that I care about you, I care about you a lot and thats why I did that. The club owner... he actually asked me if Im interested in buying you, because he noticed that Im visiting you often. At the first moment I didnt want to, but he told me that there is another one of your... customers... who would like to buy you. I quickly took the offer and I was ready to pay any price to get you out of the owners hands."  
"But why didnt you tell me? Why didnt you ask me to come with you?"  
"And what was I supposed to say? _Zak, your owner wants to get rid of you and gain some money, while doing that, so I thought that Im gonna pay for you so you dont get bought by some sleazy maniac who would have no respect for you and your needs_? I dont think that you would come, would you?"  
"Actually... no. Youre right. I wouldnt agree to it. I think that I would feel grateful, but... you... Im sorry, Aaron, but you always were just a client for me, a job I needed to do to survive. I wouldnt go with you. I would try to escape the owner."  
"I know, Zak, I know. I expected that. Thats why I... kidnapped you, to keep you from harm. If there would be nobody with enough money, the owner would lower your price and one day... someone who could buy you would appear for sure. And if you would manage to escape before that would happen... Im sure that the owner and his people would be looking for you. And I dont want to even imagine what would happen if they would find you. Maybe it was selfish to not ask you, but I saw it as a hopeless situation and I just did the first thing I came up with that I thought will keep you safe."  
Aaron turned his back to Zak, breathing out loud.  
"Are you mad at me?"  
"No, Zak, Im mad at myself. I should have told you why I bought you right when you woke up. Im sorry. I just didnt want to bother you, to let you know that you were in danger."  
"Well, if you care for me so much, why didnt you let me go?"  
Aaron turned back, blushing again: "I... I wanted to spend some time with you, Zak, so I just... didnt. And I admit that I have no excuse for that. But... lets play the game, Zak, I promise its going to be fun. Im gonna do everything for you, Zak. Dont you want me to make your dreams come true? Let me do it for you, Zak, because I think that you deserve it. Come on, open your presents," smiled Aaron like as if nothing happened and handed Zak a flat box.  
Zak hesitated for a while, but then he tore the wrapping paper apart like an impatient child. It was a laptop.  
"It has the best text editing programs. You said that you would like to write a book, so... maybe you could give it a chance. I would love to read something you wrote."  
Zak was staring at the half unpacked laptop.  
"Is it a bad choice? Would you like to write your book by using a typewriter? I thought its a little bit old fashioned, but a lot of writers like to use a typewriter, because it gives them a melancholic feeling and they say it helps them to write. Would you like me to get you one?"  
"No, no... thanks, this is... enough."  
Zak was blown away. He told Aaron earlier that he dreams of writing books. He almost forgot that he told him that. But Aaron remembered that information.  
"You know what? Im gonna write something for you, ok? A poem or a story... Take it as my christmas gift."  
"Really? I would love that, thanks, Zak!" smiled Aaron with sparkling eyes.  
"But... Im not a writer. I didnt publish anything."  
"Did you _write_ anything?"  
"Yeah, but..."  
"Then you _are_ a _writer_ ," smiled Aaron again. "What was it?"  
"Just a few short stories... and some poems."  
"Im sure they are amazing. Maybe you could allow me to... read them?"  
"Well, even if I would like to give you my works to read them, the bag you packed... its missing _a few_ things."  
"The bag _I_ packed? And whats missing?"  
"Well... everything," Zak raised his eyebrows. "Even this shirt, for example," Zak tugged on the blue shirt he was dressed in, "isnt mine."  
"I didnt pack your things, Zak. The club owner gave me this bag and said _Here, I packed some things, give them to Zak_ , so I assumed that these are your clothes. They are different from what you were wearing when I was visiting you at the club. But I thought that those were your... clothes you are wearing _at work_ and these are your like... free-time clothes or something like that."  
"No... no, they arent."  
"So my next present comes in handy."  
Aaron pointed at a big box in front of Zak and Zak opened it. It was full of clothes.  
"Thank God," whispered Zak silently, when he found out that all of the shirts, pants and hoodies were in shades of black and grey and some of the clothes had decorative elements, like tribal symbols or skulls.  
"Aaron, why did you buy me clothes that look like those I wore at work, when you thought that this light blue shirt and beige pants are mine?"  
"I actually didnt think about it. I just think that these clothes suit you. You look good in them."  
"I look good in them?" blushed Zak a little.  
"Yeah... no, no!" shouted Aaron, who thought that he just might offend Zak.  
"They look good on you!" changed Aaron the sentence. Zak knitted his eyebrows.  
"I mean... that... when you wear these clothes, they fit you. And you look so good damn good in them. But you look good wearing any type of clothes. Actually, you look the best wearing not..."

_...wearing nothing at all..._

"Thank you," smiled Zak and gave Aaron a stare that made Aarons knees weak and his heart beat faster than he thought he is able to bear.  
Aaron closed his eyes for a second and then opened them again just to see Zak standing in front of the mirror. He already changed the blue shirt for one that Aaron gave him, a black one, not so tight but also not so oversized, with a grey silhoutte of Bella Lugosi on its front.  
And now he was about to change the pants.  
Aaron gulped nervously, when Zak unbuckled them. Then Zak simply took them off, bended over in the box, spent a few moments searching for the right new ones and got dressed again quickly. He watched himself in the mirror for a second and then turned back to Aaron to ask how he looks like, but he didnt.  
"Are you alright, man?" asked he instead, when he saw Aaron being frozen and with big eyes.  
"Yeah," Aaron shook the shock off of himself quickly. Yes, Zak was looking amazing in the new clothes, but exactly as he wanted to say... Zak looked the best when the only thing he was wearing was his skin.   
And now he wasnt exactly naked. He was dressed in underwear and a t-shirt, and he dressed up again fast, but it was enough to made Aaron realize, that trying to win over Zak and resisting him will be definitely harder than he thought.

Aaron spent the rest of the time just watching Zak opening the presents, listening to him talking about the stuff he got and tried to convince himself that this all was a good idea that cant hurt anyone in the end, but he wasnt so sure suddenly. Zak was sitting on the floor, surrounded with wrapping paper, and he was looking so cute, exactly like a child on a Christmas day and he seemed to be happy. His eyes were full of stars again, instead of tears and Aaron knew that he would do anything to see those beautiful dark blue eyes shining like a starry sky every day, he would do anything to never see Zaks eyes being gray with thunder and rain.

_What if this wont end well? What if Im gonna end up hurting him? How happy he seems to be at this moment... How long will it last? I told him that this is just about the body, but I fucking lied... and if its true, if I really... feel something for him, wouldnt it be better to let him go? To give him the choice he deserves to have? To let him decide if he wants to stay or not... But if he leaves, and Im sure he would leave me if he could, what about me? What am I gonna do without him? I just fucked things up and I just cant take it all back... I just know that sooner or later, even if he wont be able to win the stupid game I created for us two, I will let him go... And even if I know that it will ruin me... I just cant bear the though that I could be ruining him and his life..._

Zak finally opened the last present and they went back to the table to have a drink before going to bed.  
"Thank you for... everything," smiled Zak happily. "I may sound childish, but this is the best Christmas I ever had."  
"My pleasure," said Aaron. "I actually have another, last present for you."  
"Another one? Youre crazy, Aaron."  
Aaron handed Zak an envelope.  
"What is it?"  
"Open it."  
Zak opened the envelope and froze.  
"But... what... why..."

It was a check for 5 milion dollars. It had Aarons signature, but the rest was empty.

"You can keep it. Or write the name of your mom on it, if you would like to. I know that you are worried about the money for your mother, now, as you are no longer _working_ at the club. I dont know how much money she needs... I hope this will be enough."

Zak just stared at Aaron.

"But... its too much..."  
Aaron just waved his hand.  
"If this is what can make her life better, then I dont care. I dont know what else to do, Zak, I have _only money_ , so thats all I can give."  
"But I didnt ask you to..."  
"I know, I just thought that it would help you and your family, so..." Aaron shrugged his shoulders.  
"Youre amazing, do you know that?" smiled Zak brightly.  
"...So, the game... you still want to play it?" asked Aaron.  
"If Im gonna say _no_ , will I be able to keep that check?"  
"Of course."  
"Okay... then... yeah, Im gonna play the game."  
Aaron breathed out and finally calmed down a little.  
"Alright, so we start at 12pm, okay? You have one year to convince me to sleep with you."  
"One year? So if I wont be able to succeed to next Christmas... whats gonna happen?"  
"Then... then youre gonna be mine forever..." whispered Aaron, knowing that what he tells Zak is a lie.

_If he doesnt want to, I wont be able to hold him by my side forever, even if I could... But if he knew, would it be easier for him? And what about me? What do I want? Do I want Zak to win the game, because I just want to feel him close so much? And if I wont let him win, and hes gonna stay with me forever because he will once again have no other choice, how long will I be able to pretend that its alright? How long will I be strong enough to keep him with me against his will?_

"Alright, a year or forever, that sounds like a good deal indeed, lets toast to that," smirked Zak and poured another glass of wine. As he was lifting the bottle, a few of red drops fell down on his fingers. Zak just casually licked them off.

Aarons stare was clouded for a while.

_Fuck, Im not gonna be able to resist him for long and I know it..._

When it got clear, Zak was kneeling in front of him.

"What are you doing?" asked Aaron, but Zak just smiled.

"Did you like it?" asked he after a second.  
"What?"  
"When I licked my fingers. I noticed how you tensed up. Maybe you would like me to do the same thing with your fingers."  
Zak took Aarons hand a licked the tip of two Aarons fingers.  
"Zak..."  
"Or maybe I can use my tongue for something else..."  
Before Aaron could collect himself enough to even move, Zak already unzipped his pants and held his cock, licking the tip of it and staring right into Aarons eyes.  
"Zak... you dont need to... its 11:30, the game didnt even start yet..." mumbled Aaron, surprised that he is able to say anything at all, because he thought that he lost his voice for good.  
"Who cares?" whispered Zak. "Im doing it because I _simply_ want to..."

Aaron was afraid that Zak is doing this because of the money he gave him, but when Zak lifted his stare, his eyes sparkled in a new, different way, these sparkles, those werent just stars. Aaron saw milion of galaxies and maybe even the whole universe in them.

He caressed Zaks cheek and watched him, like he did in his dreams and Zak was taking his time, sucking on Aarons dick slowly, and again, Aaron saw a young boy sitting in front of him, not a man in his 40s, but a guy, that still looks like 17.  
"Youre my baby boy, arent you?" moaned Aaron silently.  
"Im gonna be whatever or whoever you will like me to be... daddy," answered Zak and Aaron closed his eyes.

_I just cant... I just cant hold it back anymore..._

The next touch of Zaks tongue made Aaron come.

As he was still sitting motionless, only breathing heavily, Zak stood up and watched Aaron from above.  
"Merry Christmas, mister Goodwin," whispered he with a smirk and then left Aaron alone, going upstairs without even turning around. The door to his room made a squeaky sound when he closed it behind his back.

Aaron finally chatched some breath and noticed the time on the clock.

**11:57**

\-----------

(31.12.)

Zak didnt see Aaron for a couple of days. When he woke up on 25.12., he found a breakfast prepared on the table next to his bed and a note from Aaron that he is gonna be back on New Years Eve. He met Billy downstairs and talked to him only to found out that Billy is gonna keep him company for the next few days. Zak couldnt say that he doesnt like that guy, because he was funny and knew a lot of good movies and music, but he was always watching Zak with such strange eyes and Zak needed to admit that he is actually a little bit afraid of him. Jay on the other hand seemed to be totally fine. He was acting natural, in opossite to Billy, who seemed to be nervous all the time.

Zak spent the days just relaxing, listening to music while staring out of the window and finally, writing some of his own stuff. He also did a little research about Aaron on google. He just found a little info about his company and some facts about Aarons birthday and his private life. No wife, no scandals, no affairs. Just this bearded guy with talent for bussiness.

Zak was just silently sitting in complete darkness, when someone knocked on the door.  
"Its me."

_Aaron!_

Zak rushed to open the door.

_Oh, thank God!_

"Hello, Zak," smiled Aaron and Zak threw himself around his neck.  
"I missed you."  
"You really did?"  
"Are you afraid that Im saying that just because the game?"  
"Maybe..."  
"I really missed you," Zak nuzzled to Aarons neck.  
"Then everything is alright, now. Im back as I promised. Its New Years Eve," said Aaron, frozen, afraid that he might give Zak a signal to tease him even more if he would hug him back.  
"What do you want to do?"  
"I dont know... nothing, I guess. Watch tv, drink something, like the others do, like normal people do."  
"Alright then..." Aaron turned to go downstairs, but Zak stopped him.  
"No... I would rather stay here. I like this room, its cozy. The living room is too cold."  
"Ok..."   
Zak dragged Aaron to the bed and turned on the TV. Aaron sat next to him and turned his stare to the screen. Zak noticed that he is barely blinking.  
"Why are you so weird suddenly? Were not doing anything, we are just sitting on one bed, watching TV. Its not like Im touching you or something. You promised me fun. How can I have fun when youre just frozen and mute?"  
"Can we just go downstairs?" asked Aaron desperately.  
"Why?"  
"You were right. Its a little bit colder in the living room. Your room is... its too hot in here."

_Oh yeah, do I look like Im dumb? He just wants to go downstairs becase Billy and Jay are there too, so he wont need to be alone with me._

"If you think so..."

Zak went to the living room with Aaron and needed to supress a loud laugh, when Aaron found out that Billy and Jay are gone.  
"Looks like were alone here," smiled Zak and Aaron turned to him with panic in his eyes.  
"Hey, buddy, why are you looking so scared? You know what? You shouldnt come up with this game if youre not strong enough to play by the rules."

_Hes fucking right... And now I just cant take it back._

"Can we at least watch a movie or something? I dont want to spent the New Years eve standing with you motionless in the middle of your living room in complete silence."  
"Yes... yes. A movie. Billy said that he prepared various movies here and... oh, _fuck_ , that son of a bitch!"  
"What happened?" wanted Zak to look over Aarons shoulder into the opened cabinet.  
"Nothing, nothing!" Aaron tried to cover the content with his body.  
"Whats in there?"  
"Movies... but Billy... The movies he left there..."  
"Whats wrong with them?"  
"Um..."  
Aaron stepped aside.   
"I knew that he hates me," hissed Zak when he took a glimpse at the collection and found out that its all gay porn.  
"He doesnt hate you, hes just making inappropriate jokes, thats just him, he always does or says something that seems to be mean or sounds rude, but he isnt a bad guy. And Jay, he always spoils everything, because he isnt able to keep his mouth shut. Billy and Jay are dorks, but they are good people. They are like my brothers and I know that they always want the best for me. And Im sure they like you. Im sure Billy likes you. He wasnt glad about my idea of... buying you, because he was worried about me but I explained to him that it was necessary and he accepted it."  
"He always gives me that strange stare..."  
"Billy is just wary... Once you get to know him, you will find out that he actually is a goodhearted person."  
"Ok... and did this _goodhearted person_ leave some other movies than just gay porn here?"  
"I dont think so..."  
"Okay, then lets drink this bottle," Zak pointed at a wine on the table, "and play truth or dare."

_Hes behaving like hes still 17..._

"Its just the two of us, Zak, I dont think that we need a bottle to play."  
"Then lets play the game and drink the bottle while playing," smiled Zak. "Come on, Aaron, its supposed to be fun, you remember?"  
"Isnt it a little bit... childish?"  
"I dont think your that old, man. We arent teenagers anymore, but it doesnt mean that you need to behave like a man on a deathbed. The age is just a number, so lets forget about getting older for a little while. We can behave like young boys, who cares? Nobody will see us. And Im sure that even people that are older than us are playing truth or dare. So? What will you choose? Truth or dare?"  
"Truth."  
"Okay... so... How many guys did you date?"  
"...Including you... three."  
"So you had just two... two relationships?"  
"I wouldnt call them relationships... we were visiting each other, but we never got deeper, you know. Like... deeper into feelings."  
"I know that Im allowed to ask just one question, but... did you ever... you know... had sex with another man?"  
"Yeah, I did."  
"Okay, fine, thats enough for me to know, thanks."

Aaron was silent again.  
"You need to say _truth or dare_ , you moron."  
"Truth or dare?" woke Aaron up from whatever he was thinking about.  
"Truth."  
"Who is Jake?"  
"Jake?" laughed Zak. "He is my client. He _was_ my client. He never did anything to me, if thats what you wanted to know. He only had 20 minutes every Saturday, I just danced for him, he wasnt allowed to touch me, so dont worry. Truth or dare?"  
"Truth."  
"Why me? I mean... amongst all the other guys in the club... and Im not mentioning the outside world, there is a lot more men out there, just tell me... why me? Why did you pick _me_ for your games?"  
"Because you are extraordinary, Zak. Unique. Because when Im with you, I feel different, better than ever. Because when I look into your eyes, Im slowly falling down in their ocean depths. Im falling deep, but I like the feeling it gives me, so I keep looking at you, looking into your eyes to keep falling down, because the lower I fall, the higher I fly... Now that sounds crazy, doesnt it?"  
"No, not everything," smiled Zak a little.  
"Truth or dare?"  
"Truth."  
"How many clients did you have?"  
"I dont know, I didnt count them. A lot of them. But just a few were allowed to touch me. Truth or dare?"  
"Truth."  
"Still playing on the safe side, huh? Ok... What is your wildest fantasy?"  
"What?"  
"Your wildest sexual fantasy, describe it. What did you think? That Im gonna play this game the whole night asking just about common things? Obviously you dont know me..."  
Aaron thought about the answer for a while.  
"I... I actually dont know..."  
"Come on, Aaron, whats your kink? Binding? Spanking?"  
"I dont care as long as it involves you," said Aaron the truth.  
"Wow, thanks, now thats a kink. Actually _I am_ somebodys kink, crazy."  
Aaron didnt say anything else about it.  
"Truth or dare?"  
"Dare," smiled Zak. "Lets make this a little more dangerous."  
"Kiss me."  
"I knew you will ask for it sooner or later, I was just afraid that its gonna take you a long time..."

Zak leaned forward and kissed Aaron slowly.

"Now what about you? Truth or dare?"  
"Dare."  
"Uuuh, so you want to be risky, dont you? Ok. Drink a whole glass of wine."  
"What? You want me to get drunk or what?"  
"I do," smiled Zak.  
"What if I dont want to drink the whole glass?"  
"Then youre gonna receive a punishment, thats how the game works."  
"And thats gonna be...?"  
"Took off your shirt."  
"So I can either drink a glass full of wine or take off my clothes?"  
"Yes."  
"Alright then," said Aaron and simply took his shirt off. Zak never saw him without clothes before and for a second he forgot to pretend that he has everything under control.

_Damn... he looks so fucking fine... I wonder how he looks when he is all naked... I know, I saw his cock, but I wonder how he looks like when hes lying all naked in a bed..._

Aaron blushed a little.  
"Can you please stop staring at me like that? It makes me... nervous. Can I get dressed again if Im gonna drink that wine?"  
"No... why? You look good."  
"I dont feel like playing anymore."  
"Youre such a dick, you know that?" pouted Zak his lips and Aaron didnt know if Zak is supposed to look cute or angry.  
"Turn the tv on," hissed he and sat on the couch.  
"Are you mad at me?"  
"No, just sit the fuck down next to me and... let me be."  
Aaron sat down and didnt know what to say.  
"Zak, I just..."  
"Shut up."  
"Im sorry, I..."  
"I said shut up. Im watching the TV."  
Aaron turned to the screen. Some old variety show from early 80s was on.  
"But Zak, I..."  
"One more word and I swear that Im gonna lock myself in my room."  
Aaron tried to hold himself back, but he wasnt able to do it for long.  
"Zak, please..."  
"Ok! I warned you," shouted Zak and stood up.  
"No, please, sit down, Im not gonna talk if you dont want me to."  
Zak sat back down, again paying his attention only to the screen. He was just quietly watching the show, sipping on his wine. All of sudden, after a few minutes of complete silence he bursted out laughing. Aaron was confused, but then he realized that they are telling old jokes on the TV.  
"Thats a stupid joke," laughed Zak and looked at Aaron, who nervously returned the stare.   
"Yes, it is."  
"Youre horrible, you know that?"  
"I know."  
"And you promised me fun. And Im _not_ having fun."  
"I know, Im sorry."  
"Then do something."  
Aaron didnt know what else to do, so he just kissed Zak straight on the neck, pinning him to the couch with his body, making Zak gasp in surprise.

"Better now?" asked Aaron and Zak just murmured something.  
"What?"  
"Truth or dare, quickly."  
"Dare."  
"Lets go to the shower..."  
"You would like that? You think its gonna be fun?"  
"Yeah..."  
"Alright then..."

Aaron took Zaks hand and led him through the dark house to his room and to his bathroom.  
Zak immediately wanted to took off his clothes quickly, but Aaron stopped him.  
"What about some music?"

**My lust is  
Reflected in your eyes   
Oh it must feel so nice   
To be held by you...**

Aaron went back to Zak and again, Zak wanted to take off his shirt, but Aaron held his hands.  
"Dont hurry... we have a lot of time. Let me do it..."  
Aaron leaned down to Zaks neck, kissing him softly from his jawline down to the collar of Zaks shirt and then lifted it up, feeling Zaks chest under his fingers, exploring his skin and muscles slowly, and then finaly helped Zak to took it off.

**Oh yeah just like this  
I wanna make you feel good too  
Oh baby I’m so into you   
Go deeper   
Into my head  
Deeper   
Under my skin   
Baby do you feel as good as I do?  
Yeah I know you do...**

He took his time, when he unzipped Zaks pants and left them just fall down to his ankles, then took down his boxers, kneeling down and admiring Zak from below, where he actually got the best view ever.  
He stood up and looked at Zak for a while, just silently watching him, but Zak just couldnt wait. He just reached for Aaron, grabbing him by his belt and pulled him closer, opening his pants in a moment.

_Is he really that hungry for me?_ thought Aaron, when Zak kissed him, pressing his naked body against his in a tight embrace. _Because if he is... gosh, this feels so good..._

Zak practically shoved his hands under Aarons boxers, like as if he was waiting for this to happen for so long, that he just cant wait any second longer.

_But what if... what if hes just pretending?_

**Invade mine heart and mind  
Make me cry   
How much I like   
How much I like it   
No one turns me on like you  
No one makes me burn like you, you   
Like you   
You do...**

Aaron pushed Zak into the shower. The hot water poured over their bodies, filling the small space with steam. Zak attacked him like an animal. Suddenly, his hands and lips were all over Aarons body and his voice sounded strangely dark, when he said:  
"Take me... What are you waiting for?"  
"Im not gonna let you win the game so easily, Zak," Aaron quickly took over the situation and pushed Zak towards the wall, hot water pouring on his back, one hand on Zaks shoulder, the second one on his stomach, sliding down over Zaks wet body.  
Zak could feel Aaron being hard behind him and moaned, when Aaron started to jerk him off.  
Aaron couldnt see Zaks face, so he didnt noticed Zak smirk a little, before he lifted his hips up and started to move towards Aarons hand.  
Aaron thought for first that Zak is really eager to come or something, but after three seconds, he almost collapsed. His knees got weak, when he realized how fine it feels, when Zak is grindind his ass against him and he was suprised with the speed that Zak was able to make him almost scream with just a single movement.

Somewhere from outside a faint echo of fireworks could be heard, but Zaks voice was louder, when he moaned Aarons name.  
And Aaron suddenly came, all over Zaks back, and it left him unexpectedly exhausted. Zak just turned over his shoulder to say:  
"You should know, that I am trained to last longer... oh, and Im also trained to make my clients come literally in seconds, so... next time dont try to take control over me and just admit it. Its been just a few days since we started to play the game and its me, whos in control."  
"How... how did you do that? How... so fast?" breathed Aaron out and tried to keep balance on his shaking legs.  
"Its my job to know such things. And maybe I just know what you could possibly like. This, the shower... maybe it wasnt _my_ fantasy, maybe it was one of _yours_ , or am I wrong? Well," Zak sneaked around Aaron and out of the shower, "it was a nice evening."  
Zak took his clothes from the floor and went to the door, leaving wet footprints behind.  
Aaron was just staring at him, still not being able to think straight.  
"Hey! How... how do you know what I like? Or what I could like?"  
"I would say that Im just a lucky son of a bitch. Good luck winning the game, mister Goodwin," smirked Zak and left the room without even closing the door.

Aaron sat down on the shower floor, water pouring over his head.

_He knows. He knows that there is no fucking way for me to win this game. I just cant fight it... Everytime were alone and he gets closer... his every move, every stare, every smile, every word... everything around him suddenly feels so dangerous, he becames dangerous and he... he knows that I like it that way..._

**You know what I like  
I could be your guide   
But you know my body   
Better than I do   
Honey...**


	3. January

(7.1.)

A week passed away and Aaron became silent again. Zak saw him only during breakfast and dinner. During the day, Aaron was at work and during the night, he kept hiding himself in his room. Zak talked to him, although Aaron didnt usually respond, and when he did, he said things like _yes_ and _no_ , just simple answers and he just kept staring at Zak like as he would never seen him before. Zak didnt give a damn about it and just continued talking, but after a week, he seemed to have enough.  
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Aaron? Why arent you talking to me?"  
"Im talking to you."  
"No, you arent. And you are not here, with me."  
"I need to work, Zak."  
"Yeah, I see. But you promised me to have some fun. Why cant you take a few days off and spend them with me?"  
Aaron stood up.  
"You wanna have fun? Come here."  
Zak left his half cold breakfast and went around the table to get closer to Aaron.  
"What do you..."  
Aaron grabbed Zak by his waist, pushed Zak to the table and kissed him right on his lips so wildly, that it made Zak lose his balance. Zak wrapped his arms around Aarons neck.  
Aaron pulled away and again, he was just silently watching Zak.  
"Damn, Aaron, I know that you want it, so why dont you just bend me over this table and fuck me from behind?" purred Zak.  
Aaron didnt say a single word, he just kissed Zak again, this time he was slow and gentle.  
Zak didnt want to admit it, but it made his legs even weaker. Luckily, Aaron was still holding him.  
"Why are you doing this, Aaron? How am I supposed to play the game when we dont see each other? When we dont talk? I agreed to join the game, but you need to give me at least some chance to play. Can we write that down as another rule?"  
"Were gonna have more time for ourselves once we get back to Vegas."  
"Vegas? Were not gonna stay here for the whole year?"  
"No. I need to go back home, I need to visit my office. Were gonna take a flight back to the States."  
"When?"  
"Today."  
"Today?"  
"Yes. I will be back at 5pm. Please, pack your things and be ready... are you... are you ok, Zak?"

Zak seemed to be terrified.  
"Yeah... yeah, I am, of course."  
"You will be safe with me, Zak. If youre worried because of the club owner, dont be. Nothings gonna happen and if something would... Im gonna protect you. I wont let anybody hurt you, Zak. Never," smiled Aaron, "but I need to go now," and caressed Zaks face. Zak leaned with his cheek against Aarons palm and held it in place with his hand, looking at Aaron like a lost puppy, confused and diffident and he opened his mouth like he is about to say something, but then he just breathed out, closed his eyes and let go of Aarons hand.  
When he opened them again, Aaron was already gone.

\------------

(8.1.)

It was late in the night, when Aaron and Zak finally returned to Las Vegas. Zak was obviously nervous during the whole flight and it was even worse once they stepped out of the airport. Dakota, who went back to LV earlier than the rest of the group, drove them to Aarons house and during the whole drive, Aaron held Zak by his hand. Zak was pretending that he doesnt give a damn about it, but he was in fact glad that Aaron is supporting him.  
He didnt really know why he is so nervous and afraid and he tried to look like he is paying attention to the streets around, when Aaron suddenly said: "Were _home_."

Zak got out of the car, when Dakota stopped in front of a big house, that was build on a little hill above the city.  
"This is yours? Ok, so if I said that your... cabin is a mansion, then this needs to be a palace."  
Zak followed Aaron inside.  
"This is fucking huge, man!"  
Aaron just shrugged his shoulders.  
"So... and? Do we have separate rooms or... are we sleeping together in one room?"  
"You will have your own room, Zak, but you can sleep at my room any time you want to," winked Aaron and Zak tried to look mad, but he needed to smile. The house was enormous, but everything was decorated in dark, subdued colours and even if it was decorated like in the start of October, it felt nice and cozy inside and Zak noticed, that the tension that held over his body during the whole time, disappeared.  
"Here, thats your room," Aaron opened a door that led into another, smaller hallway.  
"A hallway?"  
"No, on the left, theres a bedroom, on the right is a bathroom and at the end of the hallway, theres a... workroom."  
Zak went straight to the last door. The room behind the door was a big library with a tall window. Zak could see a small garden outside, surrounded by trees and he went to explore the books. There were dozens of them, books that Zak never heard of and books that he wanted to read for a long time, but he didnt have money to buy them. He turned back to Aaron.  
"I thought that you need a place for writing and I thought that this will be fine," explained Aaron.  
Zak couldnt believe his eyes. Aaron took him to the other rooms and Zak was amazed by the space and he also liked that every room is full of light and has a window which leads to nature, not to the noisy city.  
When they ended back in Aarons living room, Zak gave him a kiss on the cheek.  
"Thank you."  
"For what?"  
"For... I dont know, _this_. I mean... I never had a room just for myself... or a bathroom. Or a whole library."  
"Im glad that it made you happy, Zak. I wanted you to feel comfortable, to have a place to hide when you will be sick of me still standing behind your back. Still, you can sleep at my room," winked Aaron.  
"Moron," laughed Zak. "You know, I might, actually. So dont tempt me."

\----------------

Aaron spent almost all of his time with Zak, exploring the city, when they were just taking long walks through the streets. They always ended somewhere else, once at the cinema, once at a cafe, where Zak fell in love with butter croissants filled with chocolate and orange marmalade and lavender white chocolate milkshake. They took photos at museums and restaurants and Aaron always made funny faces. Sometimes they searched for good books at the library and in the book stores and they went shopping. Zak was blown away by all of the choices and he didnt know what to buy, so Aaron just simply got everything Zak laid his eyes on. Aaron tried to film Zak while trying on a shirt, but got caught by Zak and Zak came up with a punishment, which was staying at the mall for another hour and looking for something that would fit both Aaron and Zaks taste in clothes. Zak chose a black coat with a hood, saying that Aaron looks like a _hot movie vilian_ wearing it, which convinced Aaron to actually buy it. Aaron also took Zak to his office, explaining him how it works there and whats the point of his job. They even went out with Jay and Billy and Zak found out that Billy isnt a bad guy after all, because he was funny and always made stupid things to make the others laugh.  
Aaron was glad that Zak is smiling all the time and that he seems to be relaxed and happy, and he almost forgot about the game, because Zak wasnt trying to get too much close, he just occasionally kissed Aaron, quickly, on the cheek, sometimes on his lips. Sometimes he hugged Aaron or held his hand and Aaron didnt mind that, his inner self was actually screaming with happiness, because Zak wasnt afraid to give him this kind of attention outside, on the streets and in the restaurants, in front of his friends and even in front of total strangers.


	4. February

(14.2.)

Aaron returned home and he could already hear the music playing loud inside the house even before he parked the car. He was busy for a few days and he wasnt spending that much time with Zak, but Zak didnt seem to be mad at him. He was clearly having fun even by himself, testing out the gym at Aarons house, which wasnt in fact used that much, or the pool in the back of Aarons house, where he spent hours of swiming or just relaxing in the whirlpool with a book. This time, Aaron found Zak in the library, his back turned to the door and he was singing the song that was blasting out loud throught the whole building. He didnt notice that Aaron came back, so he just leaned against the door frame smiling, listening to Zak singing.

_Well... maybe his voice sounds a little bit off, but... who cares. Hes just so fucking cute..."_

**You say "let me try you on"  
So I let you try me on  
That's the moment that we fell in deep  
Oh baby, I said "just a little bit"  
Then I got a taste of it  
Now you got me falling at your feet**

**And now we're cryin' and lovin'  
And now we're fightin' and touchin'  
Feels like I'm making love to the enemy**

**I can only take you in small doses, small doses  
Loving you, it's explosive, you know this  
I can only take you in small doses, small doses  
Loving you, it's explosive, you know this  
I can only take you in small doses**

**I didn't mean to fall in love  
Took one hit and I was gone  
Gotta get my fix so I can sleep  
Oh, baby, you're the one they warned about  
Now I just can't do without  
Baby, it's my appetite you feed...**

"What the...! You creep! Why didnt you tell me youre here?" yelled Zak at Aaron when he turned around and found out that Aaron is watching him.  
Aaron just laughed out loud. Zak paused the song.  
"Bebe Rhexa is fine... What about Bad Bitch? I think thats the song that I would like to hear you sing."  
"Hahaha, very funny," rolled Zak his eyes.  
"Come on, lets go, Im taking you out for a dinner."  
"What?"  
"A dinner. For us two. Its Valentines day."  
"Yeah, but we arent a couple."  
"So what? Does that mean that we cant go out for a dinner together? Come on, what are you afraid of?"  
\-------

The restaurant was full of people, full of couples, to be exact. Zak felt weird and didnt talk much, except telling Aaron that he doesnt feel really comfortable sitting amongst all of these couples, but Aaron just smiled and waved to the waitress and ordered dinner for both him and Zak and a bottle full of wine.  
Zak was eating silently, still watching the surroundings with the corner of his eye.

Aaron finished his glass.  
"So... wanna play truth or dare with me?"  
"What? Now? And here?"  
"Are you afraid to play in public? Are you afraid that I would want you to do kinky stuff in front of these people?"  
"Um... maybe."  
"So what? Im not ashamed to dare you to kiss me. Everyone in this room would be jealous, because it would be me, who would get a kiss from the most beautiful man in this universe."  
Zak just blinked a few times, pale pink colour covering his cheeks.  
"Dont worry, Im not gonna use the _dare_ option. Lets just play _truth or truth_."  
"So you just want to ask me some questions but you dont know how to start the conversation so it wont be awkward, am I right? Another game? Is that why you love to _play games_ so much? Because youre afraid that if you would say or do something, just because you feel like you want to, it would be embarrassing? Because when it just _a game_ , you always have and excuse for everything you do or say, because anything can be a part of the game?"  
"Probably..." said Aaron, surprised that Zak actually described him so well. 

_Yeah, I actually think that this is the right reason for this all... Because I am afraid that I will do or say something wrong. How come that he knows me better than I do?_

"Alright, lets play _truth or truth_ , you jerk. Ask me whatever you want to know."  
"Ok... thanks... so... Did you... you know, enjoy what you were doing at the club?"  
"I think that I told you earlier that sometimes I did. I mean... if I should be honest to you... Sometimes the men that visited me were really handsome and nice, so... I didnt have a problem with it. And sometimes there were men that werent... behaving good to me, so no, I didnt enjoy everything that happened at the club. But if you want to know if I enjoyed the time I spent with you," smiled Zak and paused for a while just to silently look into Aarons eyes, "yeah, I did. Now is my turn, so... what do you like about me?"  
"Everything," said Aaron quickly, without even thinking about the answer. Zak laughed.  
"Thats cute, but... choose one thing. Whats the best?"  
Now that was hard. Aaron thought for a long time, before saying:  
"I think I cant choose just one of your feature. Youre perfect from your head to your toe. And youre intelligent... and talented... and I just never met someone like you."  
"Im an idiot, admit it. I behave like a little child. And Im rude and brash sometimes."  
"Maybe, but that doesnt change a thing on you being absolutely different that anyone I have ever met. But ok, Im gonna choose one thing. I like your voice."  
"My voice?"  
"Yeah, youre voice. How it sounds when you talk, how it sounds when you laugh. Everything about it."  
Zak wanted to say something, but Aaron quickly asked:  
"I once asked you if you are straight... or... you know. You didnt answer. Why?"  
"Because it wasnt necessary at that moment. When I was with a client, it didnt matter what I am or what I want to do. Everything that mattered was how the client sees me and I needed to do and say things that made them like me. I could be anything they wanted me to be, I was just fulfilling their fantasies. If you would say, that you would like me to be gay or straight, I would tell you what you would like to hear."  
"Oh... so thats how it is..."  
"Im sorry, Aaron, I didnt know what will happen back then... I just did my job. But if you really need to know... I am into men. Luckily, you are too, so its not awkward to tell you."

Something deep down inside Aaron shivered with joy. On the outside, he didnt move a single muscle on his body.

"Well... You said that you had just friends with benefits or something... does that mean that you never loved someone? Did you ever fall in love with someone?"

_Yeah, with you. When I look back at all of the boys I thought I loved... no... youre the first one. The first real one._

"No... I did. A few times. But... it never ended well, so... The first one, we were too young, I think. And then I started to work and it took me a lot of time and energy to build my career, so I just put my love life aside. And then... I found someone, but I told him how I feel about him and it was too soon, I assume. Since that moment, I never told anyone how I really feel about him. I was too afraid that it could ruin whatever we have. Anyway, it didnt work either. And you? Did you ever fall in love with one of your clients?"

Zak was silent for a moment and Aaron didnt know if he is thinking about the answer or if he _knows what to say_ but it hurts too much to even tell that out loud.

"I did. And it always was the wrong one. For some reason I always liked the ones that never could love me back, you know?"  
Aaron shook his head.  
"Like... the one that I met when I was young. He visited me for years, told me that he loves me and we... we did everything. And he... he was married. Like... to a woman. And he... then he became a father of a girl... he always came back to me, telling me that he will leave his family, that he will save me from the club, that one day, we will run away from this place, somewhere where no one knows our names, but we never did... and then... his wife gave birth to his second daughter. I told him that I want him to stop visiting me. And he never came back again."  
Aaron wanted to say something to comfort Zak, but Zak laughed and took a sip from his glass.  
"Straight boys, yeah, they are my curse, obviously."

_What does he mean? Maybe he tries to tell me that he feels better around me knowing that I would never leave him for a woman?_

"I would never do that to you, Zak. I mean... lie to you."  
Zak smiled and reached forward across the table to hold Aarons hand.  
"I know, Aaron. I know."


	5. March

(17.3.)

Zak and Aaron spent a lot of time together again. They didnt go out that often, Zak wanted to rather stay at home and just watch tv, play games, read book and swim in the pool with Aaron, but what Zak fell in love with the most, was cooking, especially together with Aaron. One day, early in March, they were in the kitchen again, preparing a late dinner. Aaron was standing by the stove and Zak was next to him, sitting on the kitchen counter, when Aaron reached up to the right to get some salt from the cabinet. He needed to take a step to the side to be able to reach to the upper shelf and somehow Zaks knee ended between his legs. Zak suddenly ran his hand up from Aarons lower back to his neck, making Aaron turn his face to him. Zak smiled and Aarons eyes darkened strangely and when he said _Hold still_ and creeped between Zaks legs, Zak tensed up and almost felt scared and few drips of unexpectedly cold sweat ran down his spine.

_Maybe its gonna happen now,_ thought he, _but is it really what I want?_

Zak took a deep breath, but Aaron still didnt move a single inch, he was just leaning with his forehead against to Zaks forehead, his arms wrapped around Zaks waist, his lips near to Zaks lips, slightly trembling and just a movement away. The only thing Zak needed to do was to lean forward and capture them with his own, but he didnt, because Aaron silently whispered: "You dont even know how much I would like to tease you... I would suck your cock just to hear you moan... I love it, I love the way your voice sounds when you moan..."  
Aaron reached into Zaks lap, unzipped his pants and shoved his hand right under Zaks underwear. Zak almost collapsed down from the counter and he needed to rest his head on Aarons shoulder. He didnt want to give Aaron what he wanted, but he was too overwhelmed with the whole situation and with what Aaron told him that he left out a little silent groan in the end.  
"Aaron... youre making me crazy, you know?"  
"Me? Zak... I think that you dont know how much _you_ are driving me insane..."  
Zak raised his head to look into Aarons eyes.  
"Then... do it finally..."  
Aaron pulled away and focused back on seasoning the meat.  
"No... not yet."  
"Not yet?"  
"Its too early."  
"Early for what? Im with you for three months, thats a long time, I think," said Zak, while dressing up.  
"Yeah, but we arent a couple. We are playing a game, you remember?"  
"Yes, I do. But... why cant we just... I dont know, fuck this shit and just do what we both want?"  
"Because we cant. Its one of the rules. If we... if we would do that, the game would be over and you will leave."  
"Maybe I wont."  
"Thats what you are saying now. How can I be sure that youre not saying these things because you want to win?"  
"I just want _you_ , for Gods sake!" shouted Zak and tried to grab Aaron and pull him closer, but Aaron escaped his hands.  
"Alright then, not today, ok, ok..." sighed Zak and went silent.  
And he didnt say another word for the rest of the evening.

Now he was alone again. Aaron went on a business trip and although Zak wanted to go with him, Aaron told him to stay at home.   
"...and you need to call me everyday, exactly on 18:00, ok? A video call."  
Zak didnt ask why, he became a little numb to all of this _rules_ Aaron was giving him. Aaron always told him, that everything he does is just for Zaks safety, so Zak just stopped to ask for more explanation.

Zak closed the book. 

**18:00**

_Time to call Aaron._

Zak pressed the buton for a video call. Aaron answered it in seconds. What Zak saw wasnt Aarons face, as he espected. It was... a ceiling.

"Aaron?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Why cant I see you?"  
"Im here," Aarons face appeared on the screen. "Im just busy and I need my hands, I cant hold my phone, so... but you can talk, I turned on the phone speaker loud enough to hear you."  
"And what are you doing?" asked Zak, his back already turned to his laptop, doing something else and not really paying attention, because...

_...why should I talk to a ceiling?_

"Im in the bathroom."  
"In the bathroom?!" Zak rushed back to his laptop, his face close to the screen, hoping that maybe he wont see Aaron _naked_ , but he could be able to see at least an inch of his _naked_ skin.  
"Yeah, Im just shaving my hair."  
"Oh..." sighed Zak.   
Aaron took the phone in his hand and his face appeared on Zaks screen. Zak could see his naked shoulders and suddenly felt an urge to touch himself, but he didnt, scared that Aaron could see him.  
"And what are you doing?"  
"Me? Im just reading a book, chillin... Im not having that much fun, since you arent here."  
"Im sorry, Zak, I will be back soon, okay? Its gonna be just 3 or 4 more days."  
"4 days? Thats too long!"  
"Youre missing me that much?" smiled Aaron and held the phone up, so Zak can see his whole body.   
"Yeah... I am..." said Zak slowly, his eyes glued to the screen.  
Aaron was naked, just with a yellow towel around his waist.  
"You want to see how much I miss you?"  
Zak sat back on the bed, directly against his laptop, so Aaron can see him, as he started to touch himself. He closed his eyes, so he didnt see how Aarons jaw dropped in surprise. He was pleasing himself, the image of Aaron being almost naked burned on the inside of his eyelids and he moaned Aarons name, as he was close, but suddenly a beeping sound woke him up from his ecstasy.  
Aaron ended the call.  
Zak rushed to the laptop, trying to call Aaron again, but Aaron didnt respond.  
Zak went back to the bed, fell on his back and clenched his fists, tears burning in the corners of his eyes.

"Fuck it!" cursed he out loud.

_What? What should I do to get his attention?_


	6. April

(1.4.)

"Happy birthday, Aaron!" shouted Zak right when Aaron stepped into the house.  
"Wheres everyone?" wondered Aaron, surprised that Billy isnt there to stress him out with one of his crazy gifts.  
"Billy said that his gift for this year is that hes not gonna be there. He told me that he wants you to have a nice quiet evening with a glass of wine and with a good book."  
"What?"  
"Yeah, I dont understand that either."

But Aaron did. And he was glad that he has a friend like Billy is. Because what Billy meant with this gift, with not being there, with not throwing a party or forcing Aaron to do bungee jumping was that he wanted Aaron to spend his birthday alone. With Zak.  
"Oh, but _I do_ have a gift for you," smiled Zak and handed Aaron something thin and heartshaped, wrapped in christmas wrapping paper.  
"What is it?"   
"Um... I cant go out by myself so I couldnt buy you a gift... so I just made you one."

It was a heartshaped paper with a collage made out of photos with Aaron and Zak together and cute stickers.

"I know... its childish, but I wasnt able to come up with something better. Im not good at creating art or painting, so... I printed some of our photos and put them together..."  
"Thats... thats so cute... its amazing..." Aaron almost started to cry.   
"Turn it over, theres something on the other side," grinned Zak.

Aaron turned the paper over.

"A poem?"  
Zak just nodded and Aaron started to read.

_Im alone, you left just a second ago,  
the scent of you still surrounding me,  
and I dont think that I ever want to let go,  
its hell, but maybe thats what its meant to be._

_Its heaven, with its sweet sound and vibrant color,  
its paradise, when Im hidden safe in your arms,  
its darkness, full of monsters, full of horror,  
but I dont want to run, please, bind me with your charms._

_Just let me be around you, let me feel your skin,  
let me sit right next to you, listen to your voice,  
Im just asking you to believe me, to let me in,  
I dont want to go, I dont wanna have that choice._

_The heat, your hands, your smile, the twilight in your eyes,  
As every night forces me to dream about having you in my bed,  
I just want you to know the truth, I want to escape the lies,  
You are all that I want, but also what Im afraid to get..._

"Thats... thats how you feel about me?" asked Aaron after reading the poem.   
Zak just nodded shyly.  
"Its not the best, I know... maybe Im just not able to put everything I have on my mind down in words... Maybe Im too confused to know what to write."  
"Confused with what?"  
"I dont know, you maybe?"  
"Why me?"  
"God, Aaron," sighed Zak. "I... We are together for some time and I... I like to be with you. Thats all. And you seem like you enjoy the time we spend together too. But sometimes you seem like you are afraid of my presence. Why? Why did you take me here when you dont want to be alone with me?"

_Because when Im alone with you, it becomes dangerous..._

"Im not afraid of being with you, Zak, Im just busy with work," said Aaron, being sure that Zak knows its all just lies.

"Alright then," said Zak, lowering his head. "You need to work. I get it. But... youre not going anywhere tonight, are you?"  
"No."  
"Well... then I have one more gift for you."  
"What is it?"  
"Sit down on the chair and close your eyes. Dont open them, whatever happens, whatever you will feel, dont do that."

Aaron hesitated for a moment, but then he sat down and closed his eyes. The sound of music calmed him down.

_Ok... so Zak prepared a dance for me... thats ok, I can handle that..._

**He's magical  
Or so all the boys say  
His lips are cold  
But I want to know how they taste...**

Aaron relaxed a little bit in the chair, but then he panicked, when Zak covered his eyes with something, that could be a tie.

"Shh... its ok, I wont hurt you," whispered Zak somewhere near to his ear. 

**'Cause I follow, track him down  
Wear him out, like he won't follow  
Again and again and again  
Touching myself again and again..**

Aaron felt Zaks breath amongst his neck and then he felt his lips, slowly moving down to his collarbone and Zaks hands on his chest, his soft fingers just gently caressing the skin underneath his shirt, nothing more. Zak was just sitting on his lap, kissing him, and the kiss was long and deep, like as if Zak never wants to stop.

_Zak? No, its me. I dont want this kiss to ever end..._

"Zak. Im not gonna let you seduce me. Whatever your about to do, whatever you have planned..."   
"Aaron, I... I... I thought that... that Im gonna dance for you tonight, but... I guess that I want to do more..."  
"Im not gonna let you win the game. Not today."  
"Why? Why wont you allow me to do more? I want to feel you close, your lips, your skin, everything... Why do we need to play the game, Aaron? No... dont talk, I know why we are doing this. Why _you_ are doing this. And I know there are rules. I know that you dont want me to win, so... But what if I dont want to win? What if I just want to stay with you? Cant we just screw the rules? At least for one night? For a few hours maybe? When the morning comes, we can pretend that nothing happened... What do you think?"  
Aaron shook his head.

"No, Zak. We cant do this. We would break the rules. And I dont want to. We both agreed to play the game and now we have no other choice. _I have no other choice..._ "

**'Cause I follow, track him down  
Wear him out, like he won't glow  
All of the, all of the kiss  
Not sure what he wants but he's leaning in...**

"Alright then," whispered Zak sadly and Aarons arms got colder, when he stood up and left Aarons lap. Zak took off the tie od his eyes.

"You wont give me a chance to win, will you?"  
Aaron shook his head again, but this time he didnt say anything.  
"Alright then. Well... happy birthday, mister Goodwin. I hope you will have a nice evening. Here, read a book."  
Zak practically threw the nearest book he saw to Aarons feet and quickly left, locking himself in his room, leaving Aaron alone, still sitting in the chair, still feeling Zaks lips on his neck.  
Aaron closed his eyes and left out a sigh.

_Why did I do that? Why did I force him to play? And he... is he just pretending to like me because he wants to win? Or am I really breaking his heart?_  
\----------------

(5.4.)

"...I know that I promised you a party, but I need to go to my office. I have an important meeting."  
"But its my birthday!" shouted Zak like a stubborn child.  
"I know, Zak, I know," said Aaron and embraced Zak so tight, that he wasnt able to talk. "Im so, so sorry," Aarons voice trembled a little, "I'll make it up to you, I promise, but I need to go now. Jay and Dakota will keep you company, Im gonna be late, so dont wait for me."  
"But..." Zak didnt end the sentence, because Aaron was already out the door.

Zak went back to his room, leaving Jay and Dakota sitting in the living room. He sat on his bed and sighed. He wasnt mad at Aaron because of the party. He was just sad because... because he really wanted to spend his birthday together with Aaron.  
Zak grabbed a book and then threw it on the floor.  
No, he wasnt in mood for reading.

_But what if I..._  
Zaks stare went from the book to the empty tea cup.

No, he wasnt in mood for tea either.

_But maybe I can use this all and..._

"Jay?"

\-----

Jay went downstairs and poked Dakotas arm, as he was listening to music with his headphones on.  
"Im gonna leave for a while, Zak wants me to buy something, so... Keep an eye on him, ok?"  
"Yeah, sure," smiled Dakota and Jay left.

After a few minutes, Zak went downstairs too, a book in one hand, a cup of hot tea in the other.  
"Hi there... Um... Can I... Can I go out? Into the garden? Its nice out there, so I thought that I could spend some time with a good book and a good tea on the back porch...?"  
"If you want to," shrugged Dakota his shoulders. "But Im gonna check you out soon."  
"Ok, thanks!"

Zak went out and Dakota watched him for a while through the glass back door as he was sitting and reading, sometimes raising his head to the sky to watch the clouds.

\-------

"Im back!" Jay punched Dakota into the shoulder a little.  
Dakota turned to Jay, an open magazine on his lap.  
"Hey! Everything alright?"  
"Yeah... Im gonna check on Zak."  
"Ok."

After a moment, Jay appeared next to Dakota again.  
"Where is Zak? Hes not in his room."  
"Oh! He went outside, to the garden. To read a book and have a cup of tea."  
" _A tea_? But he told me that..."  
Jay and Dakota turned they stares to what Jay was holding in his hand. A pack of tea.  
"Oh, fuck!"  
Jay ran outside and when he returned, he was pale as death, because everything he found outside was a book and a half-drinked cup with tea that was still warm.  
"Thats bad, man, thats bad... he... hes not there! Aarons gonna kill us! How did he manage to escape? Why didnt you watch over him like I told you?"  
Dakota was too shocked to talk.  
"We need to find him, sooner than Aaron returns! Lets search around the house, he cant be that far!"

\------

Zak was driving through the city, trying to find a place where it could be nice to spend his birthday. He felt a little guilty for tricking Jay and Dakota and escaping from Aarons house and stealing his car, but he just couldnt stay at his room and just do nothing.  
He needed to _experience_ some fun.

He ended up at a small cozy bar, sitting in a corner and silently sipping on his drink, when he suddenly felt like as if someone is watching him. He turned his face to the left and found a man, sitting at the bar, smiling at him. Zak lowered his stare, but the guy stood up from his seat and went straight to Zak.

"Hi... is this seat taken?"  
Zak just shook his head and the guy sat down next to him.  
"Im Nick," smiled the man and offered Zak his hand.  
"Im... Im Zak."  
"Nice to meet you. What are you doing here alone?"  
The guy had short, dark hair and a beard and his gaze was like melted chocolate, warm, sweet and... _delicious_. He had this _aura_ , a magical charisma and the sexiest smile Zak ever saw.  
"I... I just wanted a drink. Its my birthday, so..."  
"Your birthday? Oh! Happy Birthday!" smiled the guy again and without hesitation or further warning, he just kissed Zak on his cheek.  
Zak waved his hands to stop him.  
"What are you doing?"  
"What, are you mad for it? I didnt know that you dont like this... I... I assumed that youre here because youre... I didnt know that you dont like guys..."  
"Huh?"  
"Well, you are at a gay bar, you didnt notice?"  
Zak turned around and for the first time he noticed, that the bar is full of men.  
"Oh... no... I didnt. But... I dont mind. Actually, I dont mind at all," smiled Zak.  
"Well... then everything is ok, I think. Can I buy you a drink for your birthday, _sweet boy_?"

\------

Aaron was driving his car to his house, happy that the meeting ended sooner than he expected. It was already late for a party, but a nice evening with wine, good food and a little cuddling wont hurt anybody and may put Zak in a better mood. Aaron also had a present for Zak on his back seat. It wasnt exactly a _thing_ , but Aaron was sure that Zak will like his idea for a birthday gift.  
The house was strangely dark and when Aaron got inside, nobody was there. Jay wasnt there, Dakota wasnt there and first of all... Zak was missing too.

Aaron immediately called Jay, but he could already hear his ringtone in front of the door and he opened them right when Jay wanted to take out the keys from his pocket.

"Where is he?" yelled he. Jay took a step backwards, because Aaron looked like he is able to kill him at that moment.  
"Where is Zak?"  
"We... we dont know," sighed Dakota. "He escaped through the garden."  
"Why the hell did you allow him to go to the garden alone, you idiot?" shouted Aaron and then pointed his finger at Jay. "And you! You had responsibility for Zak! Where did he go?"  
"I... we tried to find him, but... I... I dont know where he is..."  
Aaron was desperate. He turned around to find something, a clue, and he noticed that his second car is missing.  
"Did he took my car?"  
Dakota just shrugged his shoulders, but Jay immediately knew what Aaron meant.  
"Yes, it has a locator! If Zak has your car, we can find out where he is! Im gonna call Billy."

\-------

Zak laughed. The guy that kept him company at the bar, Nick, was funny and smart. Zak felt good while talking to him and he noticed that Nick is also sending out some signals that he has a fine time with Zak.  
"And? Whats your job?"  
"Um... nothing, at this moment. I took a little time off, you know..."  
"Yeah, I get it. Sometimes it gets boring, the job you have and you need to quit for a while, do something else with someone else. I understand it."  
Zak smiled and nodded his head.

_No, he doesnt understand it, but... at least he doesnt know what I did for living..._

"And where are you from?"  
"Im from here, Las Vegas."  
"So how come that I have never seen your beautiful face out there?"  
Zaks stare met Nicks gaze. It was piercing, but also soft and gentle.  
"I was busy with work... I didnt have that much time to go out..."  
"Well, Im glad that you went out today. Maybe it happened so we can meet, who knows?" winked Nick and Zak accepted another drink that Nick moved to him over the table.

\--------

"Come on, Billy, why is it taking so long?"  
"Be patient, Aaron, were gonna have him in seconds... Got it! Bastille, 1402 3rd Street."  
"Im gonna bring him home. And Jay... if he wont be alright, your gonna pay for that."

\-------

"I should go... its late already," sighed Zak when he checked his watch.

**21:00**

_Aaron can return home soon and I need to have a conversation with Jay about not telling Aaron about my little birthday trip outside... I hope he didnt call him..._

"You need to go? Now? No... stay a little longer, please, Im enjoying this time with you so much," said Nick and put his hand around Zaks shoulders.  
"I would like to stay, but... I cant. I need to go home."  
"Someones waiting for you there...?"  
"Kinda... Its hard to explain. I just... I need to go back before _he_ finds out that I sneaked out and went somewhere alone."  
"Jealous boyfriend? He shouldnt be surprised that you went out by himself when he left you alone on your birthday. What was more important than you to him?"  
"His job."  
"His job? How patethic. I would never leave you alone on your birthday. Actually, I wpuldnt be able to leave you alone at all, youre too gorgeous to be left alone, sweetie."  
Nick caressed Zaks face and leaned forward to kiss him. Zak closed his eyes, leaving Nick to come closer, but the second before Nicks lips touched his, he panicked hard.  
"I... Im sorry, but... I really need to go," said he and quickly grabbed his jacket.  
"Alright," sighed Nick. "I cant hold you there. But Im gonna accompany you to the car, its already dark out there and, who knows, it can be even dangerous."  
"Ok... thank you," whispered Zak and felt a little guilty.

_This guy is so nice to me and he doesnt even know me well. Aaron has something more important to do that be with me and I refused to kiss this amazing guy just because I feel bad about running away without letting anyone know... Im so stupid, what am I doing? Maybe I should just leave this bar with Nick and never return to Aaron again... No, fuck... I need to go back to his house. He would turn the whole world over, one stone after another, just to find me..._

\------

"Thats your car?"  
"Thats my car."  
"So... thats goodbye? No phone number, no adress, no... nothing?"  
"I dont have a phone. And I dont have my own apartment yet, so... But I had a great time with you, Nick. Thanks for keeping me company on my birthday."  
"If you want to... I have my own car here. You dont need to hurry home to your jealous, oblivious boyfriend. You can spend the night at my house, what do you think?"  
"Thanks, but... I cant. Bye, Nick."  
Zak wanted to open the door of the car, but Nick held him by his wrist.  
"Wait! Are you really gonna leave me just like this? Without even a kiss?"  
Zak tried to escape Nicks hold.  
"Um... I... I cant do that, Im sorry. I need to go."  
"Dont."  
"Let me go, Nick, Im gonna be late."  
"So what? What is your boyfriend gonna do?" asked Nick but left go of Zaks hand.  
"I dont know, but I dont want to find out," said Zak and turned back to the car. As soon as he did it, he felt something cold and sharp on the back of his neck.

_Fuck... is that... a knife?_

"Slowly..." growled Nick. "Im not gonna leave you so easy. Give me a kiss and I will let you go."  
"No."  
"Alright... So what about coming with me to my place where you can think about it better?"  
"No."  
Nick pulled Zak closer, still holding the knife close to his neck.  
"I dont think that _no_ is an option. Lets go."  
"I dont want to."  
"That doesnt matter to me. Come with me or..."

\------

Aaron was driving to the bar, his heart pounding fast. 

_What if he left the car there and ran away? What if something happened to him?_

The headlights of his car illuminated the parking lot behind the bar faintly.

_Where is he, where is he, where is he? Oh my God, thank you so much! But... whos the other guy?_

"Hey!" shouted Aaron as he got out of the car. "Any problems?"  
"What do you want? Leave us alone, its none of your business," hissed Nick and Aaron noticed that he is holding Zaks arm with one of his hand and his other hand is...

_Good God... He has a knife..._  
"Aaron!" yelled Zak and tried to wiggle out of Nicks hand.  
"It is. Zak belongs to me. Let him go."  
"Oh, so thats you? _Mister jealous boyfriend_ ," laughed Nick and focused his attention to Aaron. "I dont think that he is gonna leave with you tonight, bro. He is coming with me. So step aside, it wont end well if you wont."  
Aaron took a step closer.  
"You didnt hear me? Go away, now, and nobodys gonna get hurt."  
Aaron took another step forward.  
"Alright, you asked for it."

Nick let go of Zak and went to Aaron, the blade of the knife in his hand dangerously glistening in the dim light of the distant street lights. He didnt think for a long time, before he just jumped forward, his fist aiming at Nicks jawbone.

Zak felt like the time slowed down. He watched Nicks hand go down, as he obviously tried to stab Aaron in his stomach, but Aaron managed to jump backwards and punched Nick hard in his face. Nick staggered and almost fell down, but quickly found his lost balance. He returned the punch with his other hand, but he just made Aaron more angry. Zak watched, as Aaron growled like a wild animal and gave Nick another hit, knocking Nick down to the ground. Everything was silent the whole time, except the furious sound Aaron made and the world darkened, leaving just the scene of two men fighting illuminated.

"Zak! Zak! Are you ok?" Aaron appeared in front of Zak, holding his face in his palms.  
Zak finally turned his stare to Aaron and nodded his head. Then he just jumped around Aarons neck. Aaron embraced him tight.  
"Aaron..."  
"Im here, baby boy, its ok... come on, lets go home..."

\------

Aaron was sitting in the living room, doing nothing, just staring at the floor.

Zak appeared behind his back.  
"Are you mad at me?"  
"No," sighed Aaron. "Sit down to me."  
Zak sat next to Aaron and felt guilty like never before.  
"Im not mad, Zak. I was just worried about you. Im always worrying about you, you know? Thats why we have the rules, to prevent situations like this to happen. When you were at the club... I know that you was used to meet people and talk to them, but it was more safe than the real world. Nobody was allowed to bring weapons to the club or to kill the dancers, but outside, in the real world, there are... crazy people. I didnt want you to go out alone because you are, Im sorry for that, but a little... naive. Not everyone is a good person. Im sad that you had to find that out on your birthday. Its my fault. I should have cancelled the meeting."

Zak was staring at Aaron with big eyes.

"Its not your fault, Aaron... Im sorry. Im sorry for leaving and not telling anybody. I swear that I dint want to run away from you. I... I just wanted to have some fun. I should have told Jay and Dakota to go with me. Im sorry, I really am."  
"I know, Zak. I know that you didnt mean it bad. Just promise me that you will never do something like that again."  
"I wont, I promise," said Zak and nuzzled to Aarons shoulder, embracing him by hist waist.  
"Aaron?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I think that I... I dont want a birthday party at all. I just... I just want to be with you. Alone."  
"Then maybe youre gonna like my present for you," smiled Aaron and handed Zak an envelope. Zak opened it and almost started screaming.  
"Romania? In may?"  
"Yes, three weeks in Romania. Just the two of us. Europe is nice in spring."  
"Oh my God," Zak threw himself around Aarons neck. "Thats awesome! Youre awesome! Im so happy! I wanted to see Romania for my whole life!"  
Aaron pulled Zak closer.  
"Im happy you like it."  
"And Im happy to have you," whispered Zak so silently, that Aaron doubted what he heard, but Zak went even closer to him, resting in his embrace, smiling, relaxing with closed eyes, slowly falling asleep, so Aaron just caressed his cheek.  
"Im gonna do whatever it takes to make you happy and to protect you, my baby boy... Whatever it takes."


	7. May

(3.5.)

Zak and Aaron landed at the Sibiu Airport late at the evening. Zak was tired, but excited, so he refused to sleep through the way to the hotel Aaron booked, because he wanted to explore the streets of dimly lit Sibiu at least through the taxi window.

Zak was blown away, when he saw the hotel Aaron choose. Cetatea Medievala looked like an average house on the outside, although it had a nice looking patio with small tables and chair, just perfect for drinking cofee and talking, but on the inside, it was like a palace, like a castle. The room Aaron and Zak occupied was furnished with old looking furniture, like from a fairytale. A room for a King and his Prince. On one table, there was a set of two glasses and a bottle of red wine, together with sweets, mostly chocolate one-bites and macarons in rich pink, purple and red color. Zak didnt know, if its just a coincidence or not, but he suddenly remembered, how he told Aaron at a coffee shop that macarons in these colors are the most tasty ones. The bathroom was filled with small colorful mineral shampoons and herbal soaps and it also had a spa bath, where another bottle, this time of some pink sparkling wine, and a plate of little desserts was prepared.

The room was looking just awesome, but... it had just one bed.  
"Wow, just one bed for the two of us," smiled Zak and jumped right on it, making himself comfortable.  
"I ordered two beds. Im gonna solve it, wait a minute," Aaron turned to go back to the reception to ask them where the problem is, but Zak just tapped on the spot next to him.  
"So what? Are you afraid of sleeping next to me in one bed?"  
"No, but you should be," smiled Aaron playfully.  
"Why?" wondered Zak and Aaron leaned down to him.  
"Because this room is soundproof," whispered he onto Zaks lips, before he quickly kissed them and disappeared to the bathroom.

When he returned, Zak was already sleeping. He managed to take off his shoes, pants and his cap, but he fell asleep sooner than he could take of his shirt. Aaron covered Zak with a blanket, took of his bathrobe and went to sleep next to Zak, fully naked, sharing the blanket with him, but Zak didnt move a single inch, so Aaron concluded that he is really sleeping and turned off the light, letting Zak cuddle to him unconsciously in his sleep, _a thing that Zak always did when he fell asleep somewhere next to Aaron_ , feeling sure that being far away from everything, from LA, from his job, was the best idea he ever had.

\-----------

(4. 5.)

Zak woke up sooner than Aaron, but when he tried to get up and noticed that Aaron isnt wearing any clothes, he took of his shirt and boxers too, slipped back under the blanket and just pressed himself onto Aarons body, closing his eyes again. Aaron was sound asleep and Zak didnt want to wake him up. Now, when Aaron is sleeping, he doesnt need to force him to do something, he can do that later. Now he can just be next to him and admire the unique and fantastic feeling of having Aaron so close and completely naked, skin on skin. The warmth and calmness coming from Aarons body was fascinating Zak. He worked at the club for a long time and he was in love for a several times, or at least he thought so, but he never felt the urge to be with someone, to touch someone, to feel his skin under the fingertips more than now with Aaron. As the days flew, Zaks constant trying of getting Aarons attention was making him tired. But not because he just wanted to win the game. He realized that when he thinks about opportunities for making out with Aaron, he slowly started to really crave for his touches and closeness, for every kind of intimacy, for kisses especially and he wasnt sure if its a good or a bad thing, but now he just didnt want to think about it.   
Although Zak just wanted to be next to Aaron with closed eyes and daydream about what might happen, in the end he reached down and started to stroke Aaron, which caused him to mumble something and wriggle a little. It took a while before he opened his eyes and without saying anything, he reciprocated Zak what he was doing. Zak thought about taking control, about doing something, _anything_ that could help him win at that time, but for some reason the moment he shared with Aaron was too enthralling to do something different. Aaron connected their lips and Zak wanted to last longer, but he just gave it up after a while and surrendered to the feeling, reaching his orgasm fast and moaning into Aarons mouth.  
"Wheres your stamina?" laughed Aaron.  
"I thought that today I would rather choose to just enjoy it," returned Zak the smile. "Good morning, by the way," whispered Zak and fastened his movements, making Aaron biting his lips in pleasure.  
"You said this room is soundproof," teased him Zak, after Aaron tried to be as silent as possible.  
"The website claimed it, but... I didnt want to risk that," blushed he.  
"So what? Youre enjoying your vacation as much as possible, the other guests can just envy you," cuddled Zak closer.  
"Yeah, thats true," admitted Aaron. "Im happy that we went on a vacation."  
"Me too," Zak lifted his head to kiss Aaron. "Its just the first day and I know that this trip is gonna be perfect."  
"You think?"  
"Im sure," said Zak firmly, thinking about the possibility of letting this all just go its own way, take its own road, without pressure, without forcing Aaron to do something. 

Yeah... maybe the best way to win is simple. 

_Im just gonna let things to happen as they come... So come what may._

\-----

(8. 5.)

Zak and Aaron spent some days in Sibiu, exploring the history and the old buildings, visiting museums and cathedrals and then they moved on, stopping in Sighishoara to visit the house of Vlad Dracula, where Zak truly liked it and spent a lot of time there and then they had a dinner at Casa Vlad Dracul restaurant, which Zak chose of course because of the name.  
Their next stop was Brasov, because of the unique look of this town and it also was a great base for trips to the ruins of Poenari and to the Bran Castle. Aaron booked a hotel right at the centre of Brasov with a fantastic view over the city and with a little balcony, where Zak always wanted to eat the breakfast before heading to explore the sightseeings of the country he always wanted to visit.  
He got used to take Aarons hand in his hand while being in public and Aaron never hesitated to kiss Zak even in front of strangers, so they looked like a real couple. When Zak said that out loud, he actually felt strangely happy and he liked the sound of saying _a real couple_ , because even if this all was just a game that he wanted to win in the first place, it felt so safe and great to be with Aaron, in his arms, under one blanket with him, no matter if it was making out or just watching comedy movies and he just could resist to think for a moment that maybe he could just take a step back, maybe he could just let Aaron to win the game, because that would mean that he could possibly spent the rest of his life with Aaron, just with him, and that was an option that Zak started to like more and more.

\-------

(13. 5.)

Zak and Aaron took a trip to the Poenari castle ruins and Zak was too caught by the asmosphere up there, that he started to beg Aaron for sleeping at the top over the night. Aaron still didnt fully catch his breath after taking all of the 1480 steep steps and the thought of getting back down and search for a tent or something at 16pm isnt exactly something that he wants to do, but Zak was persistent, so they climbed back down and went to Arefu, the nearest town, but they were able just to buy two sleeping bags and some kind of plastic fabric blanket. Even though they didnt know if its allowed to stay at Draculas Poenari over night, they climbed the whole way up to the top and set up a provisory tent over their heads, just the plastic sheet on four woods, attached with a twine.  
The nighttime came quickly and as soon as the sun went down, everything was drowning in picht black darkness and it became cold really fast. Zak and Aaron moved under the "tent" into their sleeping bags to stay warm and Aaron lighted a flashlight, because they werent able to see even at the tip of their noses.  
When it became even colder, they snuggled together like two funny weird worms.

Zak wasnt sure about the time, when a nearby sound woke him up. He turned over to Aaron.  
"Did you hear that?"  
"Yeah... Im listening to these sounds for a half an hour now, I just didnt want to wake you up and scare you."  
"What do you think it is? An animal? A bear or something?"  
"I dont know... but what would a bear do at the top of a ruin that you need to take more than thousand slippery steps to reach it?"  
"So what is it? A ghost?"  
"A ghost?" laughed Aaron. "Are you scared?"  
"What? No," laughed Zak nervously.  
"Did you ever see a ghost?" asked Aaron, when he noticed that Zak maybe is actually a little bit scared.  
"Yeah, I did, when I was younger, I mean a lot younger. It was a female figure. She wasnt... mean, she just frightened me. I think she wanted to help, to be heard because she wanted to explain what happened to her. She took her life. I was afraid, but I wanted to know more so after this experience, I started to use quija boards and I have done some magical rituals to speak with the dead. But when I was working at the club, I didnt have that much time for my hobbys, you know, so I kinda... stopped doing that. But it was always fascinating me."  
"We should sleep, its almost 2am," suggested Aaron and Zak yawned and laid himself back down.  
The crackling sound could be heard nearer and Zak jumped up a little. Aaron pulled one arm out of the sleeping back and hugged Zak around the shoulders.  
"You were talking with ghosts and now youre afraid to sleep in the dark? Its the wind, you scaredy cat, you dont need to be afraid, Im gonna watch over you, just sleep, Im here and nothings gonna harm you, while Im around, ok?"  
"Ok," whispered Zak and quickly fell asleep again in Aarons arms. His breath was deep and calm through the rest of the night and he woke up feeling good, looking cute with pink cheeks and the tip of his nose red from the cold, in contrast to Aaron, who wasnt sleeping the whole night and whos only words were that he would kill for a cup of hot coffee, so they quickly packed their bags to go down before the first tourists will reach the ruins.

\--------

(16. 5.)

When Zak and Aaron moved to Targoviste, they stayed at Vila Melisa, which was a bigger house with separate rooms but with a shared kitchen and lounge. Aaron just booked all of the rooms to get the whole house for him and Zak alone, so they can have some privacy.

The first two days Zak and Aaron spent in Targoviste were in the sign of sightseeing and wandering around the town, spending hours with walks through the forests.  
The second two days they just stayed at the hotel, exploring the minibar, sitting at the terrace and in front of the fireplace, relaxing at the garden and taking bubble baths late at night while eating chocolate and listening to music.

\--------------  
(23. 5.)

Before coming to Bucharest, Zak and Aaron spent the whole day at the little Snagov Island, exploring the Monastery where Vlad Dracula was supposed to be buried, but the archeologists found just a couple of wolf bones inside, so the mystery of the final resting place of Vlad remained unsolved. Zak said that the islands eerie atmosphere is awesome and they spent the whole day just walking around the small island in circles, talking about history, ghosts and paranormal stuff.

At Bucharest, the capital city of Romania and also the last stop of their journey, they spent four days at the Grand Hotel Continental, which was a hotel with elegantly furnished rooms and a welness, where they had a lot of fun at the sauna. Zak discovered the beauty of social media and created a private instagram account just for him, Aaron and his friends and spent a lot of time posting vids and pictures from their trip. 

The night before they went back to LA Zak wasnt able to fall asleep. He was staring into the darkness, shifting in the bed and thinking about the things he experienced on the vacation with Aaron, realizing that this was probably the best time in his life, but not because of the trip or Romania and its beautiful places, but because he could spent this time nonstop alone with Aaron and Zak enjoyed the feeling of having him constantly near and he sighed, when he thought about how much he craves to touch Aaron, not just sexually, but also just because he... _likes him_ , he was craving for simple things like kisses and holding hands, fur cuddling and laughing together, for long talks about various things, for watching TV while being under one blanket and for that light in Aarons eyes when he was smiling at Zak.

"You cant sleep, baby boy?" asked Aaron, who woke up from a dream and noticed Zaks big sparkly eyes shining wide into the darkness around. Zak turned over and cuddled to him.  
"No..."  
"Why? Is something happening?"  
"No, not at all... well... maybe a little. I just dont want to go back. I like it as it is now."  
"What do you mean?"  
"You, me, _us_. Here. Far away from everyone and everything we know. Back there, in LA... youre still at work. Im not blaming you, I get that you need to work a lot, but... I like it here, because in Romania you have the whole time in the world to spend with me without being still interrupted by someone or something thats connected with your work."  
"Zak... I know that Im not home that much as I promised... and I cant promise you that it will change when we come back."  
"I know. And as I said, Im not mad at you. Im just happy here, with you, alone. I just told you whats on my mind in the last days, because... because I thought its important for me to tell that out loud. To let you know."  
Aaron kissed Zak into his hair and pulled him closer.  
"I love it too, Zak. And I promise to at least find some days, time to time, that we can spend alone, somewhere far from my work, ok?"  
"Ok," whispered Zak. "Aaron?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I... no, nothing. Nevermind."  
"What?"  
"Nothing."  
"No, tell me what you wanted to say."  
"Nothing special, I swear," laughed Zak. "I just wanted to thank you for this trip. It was the best thing I have experienced in my life, so... thank you for making my dream come true, Aaron."  
"No problem," smiled Aaron. "I will do anything for you, Zak, anything that will make you happy."  
"Good night," Zak kissed Aaron and then rested his head on Aarons chest, breathing out calmly while being in his favorite sleeping position and closed his eyes.  
"Good night, Zak," responded Aaron silently and fell asleep again.

But Zak didnt sleep at all. He fell asleep for about twenty minutes, before the alarm got off. Although he tried to pretend to be calm, he didnt get any rest at night, because he was still thinking about what he wanted to tell Aaron, but didnt because he was afraid that Aaron wouldnt understand it.


	8. June

(19.6.)

  
  
  
  


Aaron came home after midnight and he found Zak still awake, just lying in his bed, listening to music a staring at the ceiling.  
"You look good in the bathrobe," said Aaron awkwardly, when Zak pretended that he didnt notice Aaron to come inside his room.  
"Thanks."  
"What are you doing?"  
"Nothing."  
"Are you mad at me?"  
"No."

Aaron sat on the bed next to Zak.  
"I know that you have to spend time alone, but..."  
Zak grabbed him and pulled him down.  
"Shut up and just be near me."  
Aaron lied down and Zak curled to his side.  
"Why am I always missing you so much? I dont want to," whined he silently. "I dont want to wait alone. I dont want to miss you."  
Zak turned his stare up to Aaron, his pupils wide and black, his cheeks a little bit blushing. He caressed Aarons face and his movements were slow. Aaron noticed a sweet smell linger in the air.  
"Are you high or something?"  
"I just had a little bit of weed..."  
"Weed? Where did you got that?!"  
"Jay bought some for me... But I promised him that I wont tell you, so please... dont be mad at him."  
"Jay? What? Its... Its illegal!"  
"Buying people is illegal too and obviously it didnt bother you, so..."

Aaron was surprised.  
"Are you... used to smoking this stuff?"  
"Not that much. Me and guys at the club, we sometimes smoked weed before getting on stage, just to be more relaxed."  
"Oh... and other stuff?"  
"What other stuff? Like other drugs? No. I never was into things like that. I think that some of the guys were addicted, but I never wanted it to be a part of my life, so I never even tried other stuff."  
"Why did you run from your home?" asked Aaron suddenly.  
"I... I had a few problems. And I did some bad things, that caused my family a lot of trouble, so... I thought its gonna be better if I leave."  
"And is it? Is it better now?"  
"I dont know. Mom was searching for me, but I told the club owner that I dont want her to find me. The money that I always sent her... she knew that Im doing it, there always was my name, but the adress was fake and it looked like Im somewhere in Europe."  
"You never wanted to see her again?"  
Zak was silent for a moment.  
"Well... yeah. I did. And I still do. Im just afraid to look in her eyes after what Ive done."  
"What have you done actually?"  
"Um... how to say it... I... stole something. And set a few things on fire. And I wasnt behaving friendly to the cops."  
"Why?"  
"Why what?"  
"Why did you do that?"  
"Stealing... One day, I met a boy. He was into magic and spells and ghosts and he wanted to film a movie, something thats not fake, something real, with real events and so on. He said that he wants to do something special... and with me. But we didnt have the stuff, we just had a little camera. So I broke into a store, stole the things we needed and hid them at our neighbours house. He wasnt at home and he wanted my mom to watch over the house, so we had the key. When the cops came, I just panicked and set the things on fire, but the house... the house burned down. Unfortunately... the fire was strong and other houses in our neighbourhood started to burn. The police caught me, of course. I was stubborn and didnt want to talk, and although I knew that I did something bad, I was so angry, that I punched a cop in his face. He fell down... hit his head..." Zak sighed. "The court determined that my family needs to pay for everything that was involved into the case, the stuff I stole, the houses that were damaged by fire, the treatment for the cop, the compensation for his family, all of the lawyers work... And that was a lot of money. My mom told me that she regrets that I was born, so I packed a few things and ran away. But I didnt want her to pay it all by herself, so I took the first job I found."  
"Dancing at the club."  
"Yeah. The club owner promised me a lot of money, so I agreed."  
Aaron was lying silently, caught in his thoughts.  
"Say something. Do you think that Im a bad person?"  
"Well... we all have our problems, Zak. We all did bad stuff that we feel guilty for. But you are trying to fix things. You did things that you didnt want to do just to help to fix what you caused. And thats a good thing. Everyone can make a mistake, that doesnt make you a bad guy. How you behave after you make a mistake, thats what makes you a good or a bad person and trying to fix a mistake... I think thats what makes you a good person, so no, I dont think youre bad, Zak."  
"Thanks, buddy," whispered Zak and rested his head on Aarons chest. "Im glad youre home. Im so tired, but I didnt want to go to sleep without seeing you today."  
Aaron hugged Zak tighter.  
"And you... you loved that guy? Thats why you did it for him?"  
"You mean stealing the cameras? Yeah... I think that I loved him, kinda. He told me that its gonna be something special. That we are gonna be _something special_ , together. I believed its true. I wanted it to be true. I was just 17, so young, so stupid and I thought that if Im gonna make him happy, if Im gonna help him to make his dream come true, he will stay with me, maybe even love me back. I wanted that _something special_ he was talking about. I wanted it so bad..."  
"I understand."  
"Aaron?"  
"Yeah?"  
"You never wanted something special?"  
Aaron thought about it for a while and when he looked down to tell Zak with what he came up with, he noticed that Zak is already sleeping, so he just forgot the long, fake answer he wanted to tell Zak and just said: "You are my _something special_ , Zak. And I feel like Ive waited for all of my life just to have a chance to love someone like you, my baby boy."


	9. July

(14. 7.)

Zak seemed to be still thinking about something and Aaron wasnt able to find out whats on Zaks mind. He wanted to spend the time outside with a book, but he didnt read, he was always just looking at the clouds, as they were flowing through the sky, silently, with a sad look on his face.  
Aaron desperately wanted to make him happy and even stayed at home, but nothing changed. Zak was caught in his own mysterious thoughts, he stopped to talk and even refused to eat. Aaron spent hours with thinking about something that will make Zaks mood better and came up with another trip idea. Zak didnt seem to be excited, because it was a 5hours long ride, but the sight of a smaller amusement park right on the Santa Monica beach and of its all bright colours shining into the falling darkness made him smile a little and Aaron again felt like as if a big stone fell from his heart.  
"An amusement park?" laughed Zak, when he turned to Aaron. "How old are we? 5?"  
"Its childish, right?" blushed Aaron. "But... I... I wasnt able to think of anything else..."  
Zak laughed out loud: "I like it, you moron. Come on, I want to try everything they offer here!"  
Zak went straight to the park and Aaron followed him, just one step behind him, being all glad that he was able to make Zak happy again.

Zak wanted to visit the Haunted house as first. Inside, he was holding Aarons hand, throwing himself around Aarons neck everytime something scary appeared and laughed like a little boy, telling Aaron that he isnt afraid, that he just cant handle these _things that suddenly jump out of the dark_.

They played many games and Aaron wanted to try the Ring Toss, but Zak wasnt amused, he wanted to go try the Wheel, so he just tossed all of his rings at once, making Aaron almost cry from laughter.

The Wheel was shining with colorful lights and it was the first thing that catched Zaks eye, when they entered the amusement park. He was actually afraid of heights, but he somehow couldnt shake off the feeling of wanting to try the Wheel. Again, he was clenching on Aarons arm, being scared to look down and adore the view of ocean and all those little sparkles reflecting on its waves.

"Why are we doing this? First the haunted house, now this... Youre scared as hell," wondered Aaron.  
"Maybe because its my excuse to hold your hand," smiled Zak and finally opened his eyes and turned his face to Aaron. The colorful lights of Pacific Park were shining in his stare.  
"You dont need to have an excuse, Zak, you can hold my hand anytime you want to."  
"And... what about more? Can we do _more_ anytime I want to?"  
"Um... We´ll see."  
"I didnt mean _that thing_ , I meant... maybe like when we were in Romania? Or is it too much for you to handle? What are you afraid of?"  
"And what are you afraid of, Zak? You didnt talk to me, you were in a bad mood, why? Because you told me something about you and now you are afraid that I will somehow use it against you to make you weak?"  
"What the hell makes you think that?"  
"I dont know, it just crossed my mind. You just seem like you want to feel in control and everytime youre not, you seem to be scared to death. Thats why you dont want to open yourself? Maybe its a thing that you want to deal with alone. Its guilt? Sadness? I dont know, but youre not alone. I just wanted you to know that. However you feel, whatever makes you feel in any way that isnt comfortable for you, you can always talk to me, ok?"  
"What the fuck are you talking about? Im not feeling bad, I just..."  
"Shh, I dont care what you think about what I just said or why I said that. I just wanted yout to know that Im here for you, ok?"  
"Well... alright then. I dont know what this was and what you meant exactly by saying all these words to me, but... ok."

The ride ended and Zak went straight to the sweet shop, silently looking at the goodies.  
"You want something?" appeared Aaron behind his back.  
"Um... no."  
"Come on, choose something," smiled Aaron and hugged Zak from behind, making the lady next to him give them a weird stare. Aaron just embraced Zak tighter.  
"Choose what you like."  
"I... can we just go?"  
"You dont like it here?"  
"Its... it feels so crowded suddenly... But what about the beach? Can we go to the beach?"  
"Only if Im gonna see you finally eat something."  
Zak immediately picked the chocolate covered strawberries and headed out of the park.

The beach was dark and almost empty. Zak sat down on the ground, still eating his strawberries, eyes glued to the ocean.  
"Lets go to the water."  
"No, Zak, its cold for sure. The air is chill, so the water cant be warmer."  
"Please, I want to! I ate all of those strawberries just to get into the water."  
"You said that you want to go to the beach, not to go swim in ice cold water."  
"Come on, its summer! We can just try it! How cold can it be?"  
Zak started to take off his clothes.  
"You want to get naked?"  
"Am I supposed to get into the water fully dressed? And if this all is about you... I think I saw enough of you, so you dont need to be shy anymore."

Zak laughed and ran to the water. Aaron followed him shortly after, still being unsure about taking off his boxers, but Zak was already swimming far from the beach, so Aaron just took them off and threw himself into the water.

And it felt like being locked into a freezer.

"Its fucking cold!" yelled he at Zak, who laughed his ass off.  
"I know! But I just dont care!"  
Zak went nearer and wrapped his arms around Aarons neck, the waves slowly swaying with them. Aaron had a hard time looking at Zak, as his wet hair sticked to his forehead and cheeks, making him again look cute like as if he was a young boy.  
"Zak, we should get out, your lips are blue, I dont want you to get sick," spoke Aaron to him like a father to his little son.  
"Youre just awesome, do you know that?" asked Zak and kissed Aaron with lips trembing from coldness.  
"I admit that I heard that a few times," smiled Aaron.  
"I... thank you. Thanks for what you said. Thanks for being there for me."  
"No problem."  
"Its... its more than anyone else ever did for me," whispered Zak and kissed Aaron again, then, without saying anything else, he swimmed back to the beach.

\------------------

Two days later, Aaron was packing some stuff in the living room, preparing for another trip with Zak, this time to a zoo.  
Zak went down the stairs, his face having a shade of grey on its cheeks and he was barely standing on his legs.  
"Are you ok, Zak?" worried Aaron.  
"I dont feel like going."  
"You dont look good. I mean," blushed Aaron, "you look _perfect_ , you just look like youre not feeling well..."  
"Yeah, I dont feel well at all."  
"I told you not to go into the cold water, Zak. But you had to and now youre sick."  
"I know, I know, God, Im not a little child. I know its my fault."  
Aaron sighed.  
"Then go to your bed."  
"But what about our trip?"  
"Screw the trip, you need to get well and because of that you need to rest in your bed."  
Aaron pratically dragged Zak back to his room and laid him into the bed, covering him with a blanket. Then he brought a thermometer and forced Zak ro measure his temperature.  
The result didnt satisfy him.  
"You definitely catched a cold from the water."  
"I know, you already told me like ten times, I dont need to hear it over and over again, I admit that I shouldnt do that, ok?"

Aaron left Zak for a while just to make him a tea and some soup and came back, sitting on Zaks bed until evening, literally stuffing him with fruit. When the night came, Zak begged him to stay and claimed, that its because hes not feeling well and when hes not feeling well, hes scared and isnt able to fall asleep, but beside Aaron he might have a chance.  
When they finally were cuddled up under the blanket and the lights were turned off, Zak turned to Aaron.  
"Why are you taking such care about me?"  
"Because I dont want you to be sick. No one likes to be sick and I assume that you feel the same."  
"Yeah, but Im not a child. I just still dont get why... what made you to choose me? At the club... there were many boys younger than me, more beautiful, more funny, so why me? If you wanted a toy or someone to have fun with, you should have chosen another of the dancer."  
"Zak... its too late for this kind of conversation, you should get some rest, lets just sleep, ok?"  
"I need to know why. Youre... youre great. Everyone would be happy with you."  
"Yeah, tell that to those who left me because I clearly wasnt enough good for them."  
"Those are motherfuckers, they needed to be sick in their heads, just because even having the thought of leaving you."  
"...thanks..." murmured Aaron."  
"So? Why me?"  
"I already told you, Zak. Nobody... No one is like you. Theres nothing more I can say. Youre just... unique. I saw you and since that time... I just couldnt get you out of my head, you know? Youre eyes, your voice, the taste of your kiss... you made me feel different than anyone else before, you made me feel like ts worth of fighting to have you and... I admit that getting you by buying you wasnt exactly the typical way of getting someones attention, but... thats just how it is. And I swear that I dint have any other chance than just do everything in the way I did. And... why you... well, if there would be anything in the world, like literally anything or anyone and if I would need to compare it or that person to you, you would always win. You would always be my choice, no matter what."  
"Alright then," purred Zak and cuddled near to Aaron. "Thanks... for saying that, Aaron. Good... good night."  
"Good night, baby boy, sleep well."


	10. August

(23.8.)

Aaron was focused on his work and didnt even hear the door slowly open, until it slammed shut with a loud bang.

"Zak! What... what the hell are you doing here? And why are you looking like Kenny from South Park?"  
Zak was standing in Aarons office and although the weather was quite hot that day, he was wearing a hoodie and he had the hood on, covering half of his face with it.  
"I came here to see you. I thought that when I cant see you at home, I need to visit you at your work to spend at least a little time with you. And to show you what I got."  
"No... youre not wearing that..."

Zak took off the hood and suddenly stood in front of Aaron half naked. And with the collar on his neck.

"Oh my God, you are," sighed Aaron. "Why? Why are you doing this to me?"  
"Because you like it," smiled Zak innocently and came closer to Aaron, who didnt hesitate and made Zak sat down on his desk, as he completely forgot about all the documents and papers that were covering it.  
"I didnt know it will make you this wild though," laughed Zak, while wrapping his legs around Aarons waist and as he said that, Aaron got visibly nervous.  
"Maybe we should stop, someone could come in."  
"Like who? Like Billy? Or Jay? And if they would, who the hell cares?"  
"I do. Were not 15 years old. Come down, I need to work."

Zak jumped down and took his hoodie from the ground.

"Yeah, were not young, so what? You should choose someone younger than me, if this is what bothers you. Am I too old for you? Thats why Im not catching your eye? Thats why youre again not at home with me? Because you dont like me anymore? Because I dont look good or young?"

Aaron just went to Zak and gently pushed him towards a big mirror in his office, making him to face his half naked self, embracing him from behind.

"Tell me what you see, Zak."  
"Well... me, of course."  
"Yeah, you. And the _you_ I see is perfect, from its head to its toes. Absolutely, in every way. Every inch of your skin, every muscle, every tattoo, every freckle, the shape of your body, everything is just beyond amazing, my baby boy, trust me. Im not home because I wouldnt want to and believe me, I would rather be with you, but this company isnt able to exist without me. And because I want it to exist and because I want you to have everything you need, I need to spend a lot of my time working. Thats the only reason Im here at work. You... youre making me wild every second Im near to you, but... my part in the game is trying to resist your temptations, so its what Im doing. But please, believe me, Zak, you... you are the most beautiful being in this whole damn universe and to me... you will always look that way. Simply gorgeous."

Zak was staring at his and Aarons reflection.

"Thank you," whispered he.  
"You dont need to thank me. Its true, theres no need to thank for a truth," smiled Aaron and rested his chin on Zaks shoulder, putting his arms around him.  
"You know what? Screw the work for one day, lets get out tonight. Would you like that, baby boy?"  
Zak caressed Aarons arms with both of his hands.  
"I would love to," responded he, still not moving his stare away from the mirror reflection.  
Aaron wanted to let him go, but Zak stopped him.  
"No, dont move. I want to stay like this a little longer, please..."  
Aaron kissed Zaks shoulder.  
"Youre the most amazing person I have ever met, Zak. And nothing is ever going to change it. Do you trust me? "

Zak breathed out in relief and turned around in Aarons embrace.  
"I do."

Aaron kissed Zak gently.  
"Ok, then lets get the hell out of here."

Aaron left the messy pile of papers on his desk as it was, without even checking if they are ok and left his office quickly, holding Zaks hand, heading out to the city to do whatever Zak will like to do to show him that he really cares about him and that there is nothing to worry about. They went to a bar for a drink, but ended up sitting at a coffee shop, just talking and laughing, then going back home and falling asleep on a couch in front of the TV. 

The last though Zak had before his eyes shut was that this is the first moment in a long time when he just doesnt need to think about tommorow. He felt so good that the fear of whats about to come wasnt bothering him for once and he just cuddled to Aaron, who was already sound asleep and closed his eyes, falling asleep too.


	11. September

(21. 9.)

Aaron finaly managed to get some time for him and Zak alone as he promised him back in Romania and prepared a little surprise trip for Zak. He didnt told him a single thing about the location before, he just wanted Zak to pack warm clothes and good shoes. Zak was curious but he wasnt able to get something from Aaron, who remained mysterious about the destination even through the car ride. Zak didnt even know what Aaron packed, because Aaron didnt want him to be around when he was putting stuff inside the car trunk. After a few hours of driving, Zak became tired from trying to ask Aaron about the place they are heading to and behaving like the donkey in Shrek, repeating the question "Are we there yet?" every five minutes and fell asleep. When he woke up, the car was parked and not moving and Aaron was in the back, taking out some bags.  
Zak blinked and looked around.  
The car was parked on a forest road, leading to a small wooden cabin. Behind the cabin, a little lake was sparkling in the late afternoon light.  
"Thats it?" asked Zak in disbelief.  
"Yeah, thats it," smiled Aaron happily, as Zak stepped out of the car, still rubbing his eyes.

The cabin was really small. It had just a tiny bed for two with a little stove next to it, a small couch under the single window and a table, a few shelves and a wc that was so small that Zak was afraid of knocking something off the walls.

"Where are we actually?" asked Zak.  
"This cabin belongs to my family. A spent my childhood there."  
"Really?" Zak turned around. It was a completely different place from where Aaron was living now, as he was an adult, but Zak saw that he seems somehow happier and more relaxed from the moment he entered this little cottage.  
"Yeah, no electricity, no signal, no people, no... nothing. Just the nature and the sound of birds, crackling wood and wind, nothing more."  
"Sounds interesting," mumbled Zak and sat down on the couch. "What are we gonna do here?"  
"Nothing," smiled Aaron. "We can take a walk, go fishing, we can make a bonfire, just sit, talk and chill together. No ones gonna bother us. Like I said, theres no signal so you dont need to worry that something will pop out of nowhere and make me go to work."  
"Now that sounds great," Zaks mood changed, "no matter where we are."

\-------

The evening came quickly, as Zak and Aaron were sitting outside by a small bonfire, roasting meat and marshmallows and it became chill, so Aaron decided to go inside and light a fire inside the stove. The small room filled with sweet scent of wood and with orange light, when Aaron lighted an old oil lamp.  
Zak still felt cold, so Aaron made some tea and they hid themselves under the blanket. The bed wasnt really big, so they needed to be close, but neither Zak nor Aaron minded that. They needed to cuddle the whole night, Aaron was spooning Zak, keeping him warm from behind, as he left him the better spot on the bed near to the stove.  
In the morning, Zak woke up, feeling that he rested that night better than ever in his life. He found Aaron behind the cabin, fishing by the lake. The morning air was cold and the lake was surrounded with fog. Zak sat down on a thin bench next to Aaron.  
"Thats because theres no electricity, no buzzing sounds of machines, of cars, no white noise that you can hear in the city, thats why you slept so well," explained Aaron. "The only sound that you will listen to here is the sound of the forest. Its soothing. Thats why I like it here so much. And I had a great time with my sister here, when we were kids."  
"You have a sister?"  
"Yeah, a younger sister," smiled Aaron, but it was a sad smile. "We dont see each other often."  
"Because of work?"  
"No... its because... its complicated."  
"Complicated or something that you dont want to talk about?"  
"Both of it. When I... when I came out to my family, like... about my sexual orientation, they... they werent mad or something. Just... my mom and my sister are... always staring at me in a strange way. Like... that I wont have my own children or something. Or that I will never live an... ordinary life or what."  
Zak nodded.  
"Yeah, I understand what you mean. I had a hard time with my family too. They never said a bad word about it, but... my mom always gave me this strange look when I was talking to a guy, so..."  
Zak turned his stare back to the lake.  
"Its beautiful. I like it here. I think its gonna be my new favourite place."  
"Because of the deep woods, right?"  
"Yeah... but also because were finally alone again," Zak leaned to Aaron to kiss him and Aaron completely forgot about his fishing plans. He left the fishing rod to fall on the ground to be able to hold Zak around the waist and Zak cuddled closer and rested his head on Aarons shoulder.  
"Its just so amazing to be with you..."  
"I feel the same about you," admitted Aaron, but at the same time he got a little bit scared.

_Its September... what if he is telling me such things just to make me fall in love with him and surrender to him? What if... what if it doesnt matter anymore because... because Im already in love with him?_

\------

Aaron created a little meal on the stove, because the wetter outside got worse and he wouldnt be able to keep the fire in the rain, so he and Zak needed to eat inside the cabin. The wind was howling through the trees, making the leaves fall down and look like a colourful rain and Zak was happy that he doesnt need to be out in the storm, because here, inside the cabin, next to Aaron, it was peaceful and warm and he enjoyed the moment of just sitting near to him and watching him, as he was talking about the things he experienced as a child here, when he was swimming in the lake or playing hide and seek in the forest with his sister. When the storm got even crazier, they hid in the bed without lighting the oil lamp, just listening to the wind and to the crackling wood in the stove.

"Its a long time since we... cuddled a little more," smiled Zak playfully, trying to reach into Aarons lap. He thought that Aaron will try to wiggle out of the bed or something, but Aaron just smashed his lips onto Zak, climbing up on his body, leaving Zak breathless underneath him.  
"How much do you want to cuddle tonight?" asked he while running his hand up Zaks thigh to stop at his ass and squeeze him almost painfully.  
"A lot..." whispered Zak.   
"What does _a lot_ mean?"  
"A lot means a lot, but... I want to cuddle as much as you want to..."

Aaron didnt respond in any way, he just moved his hand all the way up to hold Zaks face, caressing his cheek with his thumb.

"I just want to stare into your starry eyes forever, Zak... I just want to have you near, like I do now... More than I do now... without hesitating, without guilt, without side thoughts..."  
"Who is stopping you from doing that?"  
"No one, but... how can I be sure that youre not trying to trick me? How can I be sure that the things that Im seeing in your eyes arent fake?"  
"I dont know. You cant. Just... just try it. I didnt say that I want to sleep with you tonight, Aaron. I just said that I want to cuddle a little more than we usually do. If youre woried about the end of the game, you dont need to. I wont do anything you would tell me not to do, I wont even touch you, if it scares you or what, so you dont need to be afraid that I will try to seduce you. Just... just give me some of your attention and... and then Im gonna do the same for you, maybe like we did in Romania...? But if you want something more, we can do whatever you want to... off record of course."  
"Zak, there is no _off record_ option..."  
"Alright, alright, I know, forget it, it was just an idea. I take it back. I just... It may surprise you, but I... I just like how it feels when you are touching me. And I also like how it feels to touch you, so.... Now, when we are finally alone, stucked in a little cabin without the possibility of being bothered... I just wanted to take that chance and add a fine experience to your collection of unforgettable memories you have made at this cottage in the middle of fucking nowhere, thats all."  
"Alright then," nodded Aaron. "But I think that you need a nice memory of this cabin too, so... turn over on your stomach and close your eyes."  
Zak did what Aaron wanted him to do, waiting for whats going to happen, when a cold splatter of something sticky landed on his back.  
"Its just a body lotion... I thought that a little massage cant harm anyone..." explained Aaron and Zak just sighed, because he had another things in his head that he wanted to do and create a memory of it, but Aarons hands and fingers were so pleasing and calming, as they were massaging Zaks shoulders and the back of his neck, and Zak laughed, when Aarons fingertips turned out to be a little tickly, as they reached his lower back. Aaron moved to Zaks ass, paying especial attention and pouring a lot of the lotion on it and he realized too late what it does remind him of.  
"Whats wrong?" asked Zak when Aaron wasnt moving his hands for a few seconds.  
"Nothing, just... just get on all fours, ok?"  
Zak shrugged his shoulders and did what Aaron wanted him to do and he was about to ask what this all is good for, but he didnt. The words that formed on his tongue changed into a moan, as Aaron just pressed himself on Zak, suddenly being completely naked and started to rub himself against Zaks ass, letting him feel his whole lenght being all ready and pulsing with lust. Zak arched his back like a cat to move closer to Aaron, but Aaron wrapped one of his hands around Zaks waist to keep him from doing any moves and his second hand found its way between Zaks thighs, making him groan again, as Aaron found his erection.  
"Slowly, dont hurry," whispered Zak and his eyes shut, when Aaron slowed down the movements of his hand. "Thats right... amazing," he bit his lip, enjoying Aarons attention.  
Aaron did only move his hand, but it still forced him to move his whole body, especially his hips as he tried to do his best while jerking Zak off and he quickly felt out of breath, because now Zak was closer to him than ever, it was different, it was almost like real sex, just without the part of really entering Zaks body, but the thought of it was enough for Aaron, who couldnt handle it anymore, he was so afraid that he will not be able to control himself, so he fastened the movements of his hand again, making Zak squirm, moan Aarons name and come with a loud groan, then collapsing down onto the bed. Aaron fell next to him, his eyes closed and his chest moving up and down as he was breathing heavily.  
"Well... now its my turn, so... oh," laughed Zak, when he noticed that he actually doesnt need to do anything more. Aaron seemed to be pleased.  
"When... when did that happen? When did you...?" Zak pointed his finger to Aarons lap.  
"Um... somewhere between you moaning my name and you reaching your... ehm.. orgasm."  
Zak just giggled and tossed the dirty sheet down to the floor.   
"It felt... nice," said he and laid himself back next to Aaron, turning his back to him and letting him spoon him again.  
"Yeah, it did," agreed Aaron.  
"Its sad that it... wasnt something more, but... I liked it anyway."  
"Me too," whispered Aaron and hugged Zak from behind.  
"Maybe we can do things like that often, what do you think?" asked Zak before he closed his eyes and made himself comfortable in Aarons arms.  
"Yeah, maybe we could..." whispered Aaron.

_No. This cant happen again. Im too weak when you are near to me and the next time... I may not be able to control myself at all... I need to be colder, I need to take a step back, to take control... If I wont do that, Im gonna lose the game quickly..._


	12. October

Aaron was resisting for a long time and he did quite well, but... he wasnt made of stone. And one day... everything that happened just felt so overwhelming and Aaron suddenly noticed that fucking Zak is the only thing he wants to do and he wasnt sure if he is able to be so... _cold_ for a longer time. It seemed like everything that Zak does or says suddenly reminds Aaron of sex and he just wasnt sure how to cope with that.  
It happened in October. It all started innocently, when Zak and Aaron were eating breakfast. Zak wanted donuts and Aaron never said no to anything he wanted, so he got them. Aaron was watching Zak eating, as he himself was sipping on his hot coffee slowly. When Zak was done, he licked his fingers covered with sugar, which caused Aaron to choke on his coffee. He actually started to cough and Zak raised his eyes, looking at Aaron and asked if he is okay.  
Aaron drank some water to stop coughing and then turned his attention back to Zak and felt like he is gonna collapse. On the outside, he became frozen. But in his mind he was screaming. Zak had suggar on his upper lip and Aaron knew he shoulndt do that, but he just pointed to his own lips and said:  
"Your lips... sugar..."  
And Zak did exactly what Aaron knew he will. He sticked out his tongue and licked his lips.  
Aaron jumped up and ran out of the dining room, leaving Zak alone and confused there. He locked himself in his room and left out a loud sigh.  
"This is gonna be fucking hard," said he out loud, talking to himself.

Halloween was near.  
Aaron didnt throw a party, but Zak said that he would like to have at least some pumpkins and stuff and Aaron liked how his eyes sparkle when he sees scary spiders and orange candles, so he allowed Zak to buy every single halloween decoration he wanted to have and turn Aarons house to a haunted mansion. Aaron didnt mind, he actually had a lot of fun when Zak needed to help with something, but everytime Zak tried to touch him, Aaron made a step back. He had enough of problems by just looking at Zak, at his arms in that shirt with a picture of Bela Lugosi on it, at his ass in those grey sweatpants, that were tight just at all of the right places, and dealing with Zaks touches would be too much to bear.  
And then it happened. _Halloween happened._  
The day was ok. Aaron carved some pumpkins with Zak, they watched horror movies and when the darkness fell, Zak just said _Now its the time for costumes!_ and disappeared in his room. Aaron wasnt sure about what is happening, because he definitely didnt talk with Zak about wearing some costumes, so after a while he just rushed to Zaks room without knocking.  
Oh yeah, another thing he _definitely shouldnt do_.

Zak was standing next to his bed, dressed only in black boxers and...

_... is that a tail? Oh my God, it definitely is... and... oh, fuck, please, no... he... he wasnt kidding back then... he is wearing them..._

Aaron closed his eyes and opened them again, because he thought that he needs to be hallucinating.  
Zak was only in his boxers and he had a fake black cat tail attached to them and, what was the worst part and what made Aaron almost fell to the floor were those plushy black cat ears, covered with flitters.

"What... are you wearing?"  
"My costume," blinked Zak innocently.   
"You are... naked."  
"Im not _naked_. And I would have been fully dressed, if you wouldnt break into my room like that. So, if it bothers you, keep in mind that its your fault that you need to see me like that," said Zak and Aaron needed to sit down on the bed, because he felt like he isnt able to stand on his legs.  
"Where did you get these?" asked Aaron and pointed at Zaks head.  
"Oh, the ears? Ebay."  
"And why are they... why do they look like..."  
"Like for girls? Yeah man, tell me something about that. I expected them to look a little bit different. It looks terrible."  
"No, _you_ look... cute."  
"Do I?" smiled Zak and Aaron held his breath. The only thought he had was that this is it, this is the end of this game, tonight he just wont be able to resist Zak and why? Because of what? Because of this little filthy kink he actually never knew he is into, just until now? Like... kitten ears? Thats ridiculous! Is it because of them? Or was it just Zak, looking so cute...

"Come here," whispered Aaron and Zak went to the bed. Aaron ran his hands up his legs to his ass, helping him take off his underwear. Zak was about to take off those fake ears too, but Aaron just smiled shyly, saying _Dont... I kinda like them... like... a lot..._. Zak crawled on the bed, grabbing Aaron by his thighs and pulling him closer and Aaron needed to take a deep breath, because Zak started to kiss his neck, while unbuttoning his shirt and right after he was done, he moved his hands to unbuckle Aarons pants. It took a lot of strenght but Aaron stopped him.  
"Such a sinner... we dont need to hurry, baby boy, slow down a little..."  
"What? I dont want to slow down," mumbled Zak.  
"You dont want to or dont know how to?" smiled Aaron and Zak just blushed, realizing that Aarons knows damn well how much he wants to touch him.  
"Okay, maybe I dont know how," admitted Zak.  
"Im gonna show you what Im talking about..." whispered Aaron and pushed Zak on his back. Then he took off his own shirt and pants, while Zak was watching and Zak gasped for air, when Aaron took of his boxers, showing off his huge cock, its tip wet with precum and Zak couldnt help but feeling like he wants to take him in his mouth, but before he was able to sit up, Aaron was already between his thighs, slowly kissing and brushing his lips over them, then he moved to Zaks underbelly, purposely missing Zaks cock, moving over his stomach to his nipples, bitting on them gently, then he focused on Zaks neck, giving extra attention to that one little spot under Zaks jawline and he ended up kissing Zak on his lips, being all hungry for his tongue.  
Zak wrapped his arms around Aaron, but he just grabbed them and pinned them above Zaks head.  
"No... dont touch me... yet. I said we are gonna take this slow."  
Aaron left go of his hold, but Zak immediatelly wrapped his arms around Aarons waist again, trying to pull him closer.  
"I said something, Zak, but ok, you asked for it," said Aaron a took out a pair of handcuffes from under Zaks pillow.  
"How do you know about them?" Zak was surprised and he didnt have a chance to fight back, because Aaron cuffed him to his bed so quickly, that he realized he isnt able to use his hands just at the time when it was already too late to fight.  
Aaron leaned above Zak and ran his thumb over Zaks lower lip slowly.  
"So beautiful... You are so beautiful, my little kitten..."  
Zak blushed hard at that word. He wasnt sure with the choice he made about his costume, but right now, although Aaron calling him _kitten_ made him shy, he knew that he picked the right one.  
"I really like your costume," said Aaron, like as if he would be reading Zaks mind, before kissing him again. Zak wasnt able to touch him, so he at least tried to move up his hips to brush his body against Aarons, because nothing was in fact happening yet, but Zak felt like he isnt able to control his desire to _feel_ Aaron anymore. Aaron understood what Zak wants from him, so he travelled with the tip of his tongue over Zaks chest down to his cock, circling around the top slowly before taking him between his lips and Zak arched his back, the pleasure was _heavy and painful and so amazing_ , and he couldnt get enough of the way Aaron sucked on his cock. When Aaron took the lube from the shelf Zak suddenly wasnt able to breath, the only air he got into his lungs were short, sharp breaths, because he thought that Aaron finally decided to take him and he just couldnt wait for him to do that, it was the only thing he wanted at that moment, but Aaron just lubed his fingers and Zak groaned, when he inserted them inside Zak and started to move them in and out in a tormenting rhythm, still being unsatisfied.  
"You dont like it?" asked Aaron.  
"I need more..." whined Zak and moaned out loud, when Aaron added another finger.

_Oh, fuck, yes... Im close... but... this is not enough... I need him... I need him to do it... I cant wait any longer..._

"Fuck me... fuck me already, Im waiting for so long," whispered Zak, when Aaron leaned down to kiss him.  
"No."  
"Why not? Do it... please..."  
"You want to leave me, dont you? Thats why you want me to finally do it?"  
"No, no! I just..."

Zak wasnt able to talk for a while. Aaron was listening to him, but he didnt stop the movement of his fingers and he stroked Zaks cock, causing Zak to almost faint. Whenever Aaron paid attention to his cock, it didnt matter in what way, he became so oversensitive to his touches, they were making him insane and now it just felt even worse. Zak felt like he is gonna explode, he felt his whole body tense and his cock was aching, as he tried to hold on, to last longer, to not come and it seemed that Aaron knows it, because his hand was moving faster suddenly, and the whole moment was so overwhelming that he needed to pause in his confession for a few seconds, because he was short of breath.

"I... I just want to feel you in me, I want to finally feel _you_!"  
"I cant do that... I would lose the game and I dont want to let you go..."  
"Screw the game! I dont want to play it anymore! Fuck me!"  
"No."  
"Aaron... please... Im... Im gonna come... I want to come with you inside me, please... fuck me, I cant do this anymore, _I need you_ , I need you to fuck me, Im obsessed with you, why cant you understand... Dont... dont touch me... please, please stop, I dont want to come without you in me, but I just cant hold it back any longer, please, Aaron, stop..."  
Aaron didnt seem to pay attention to what Zak was saying, he just started to work on Zaks erection with his mouth again, fingering his hole and Zak tried to get out of his reach, but he couldnt escape, he felt his orgasm coming against his will and when he came, tears were rolling down is face. He whined, because it just wasnt enough for him, instead of feeling good he felt even more unsatisfied and he was still hard, when Aaron took the handcuffs off of his wrists.  
"Dont you dare to leave me alone right now! You cant leave me like this! Not tonight!" shouted Zak, when Aaron grabbed his clothes from the floor and went to the door without saying anything.  
"I... I cant let you go, Zak... I... Im sorry."  
"Dont go!"  
Zak jumped up and ran to the door, but Aaron quickly locked it from outside. Zak cursed, went back to the bed, and started to touch himself, seeking for relief, while thinking about Aaron and moaning, imagining Aaron to fucking him from behind and he was sure that the whole house heard him scream Aarons name when he came again and he collapsed to the bed right after, feeling completely exhausted and he fell asleep in the next second, being too tired to care about the fact that everyone heard him masturbating. 

_So what? At least Aaron knows how much I need him._

Aaron knew that well.  
He actually wasnt that far when Zak started to be loud. He locked the door and wanted to go away, but he couldnt. He didnt make it far than just one meter from the door, when he heard Zak moan and he immediately knew what he is doing inside. His legs just stopped working at that moment and he needed to lean on the wall and _take care of his own problem_. He just couldnt help himself. The image of Zak touching himself inside of Aarons mind matched with the sound of Zak moaning behind the door and it forced Aaron to unzip his pants and pump his fist up and down his cock fast, again and again, biting his lips so no one will hear him, especially Zak, he didnt want Zak to know how weak he actually is, so he just tried to be as much quiet as possible, but when Zak screamed his name out loud, that _need_ in Zaks voice made him almost crazy and he came too, imagining Zak shiver under his touches and then, being all embarrased about himself and his weakness, he disappeared from the dark hallway to his room to crawl in the bed and think about things that he, again, just shouldnt have done.

\------

Zak woke up. He was too exhausted to open his eyes, but he knew he is definitely lying in a bathtub.  
"What are you doing?" asked he, when he felt two hands on his body.  
"I... I just thought that it wouldnt be good for you to sleep in such... mess, you know..."  
Zak just smiled a little, being all worn out, not able to control his sleepy body, but glad that Aaron is close. He left Aaron to wash his whole body, help him out of the bathtub, wrap him in a towel and practically carry him to the bed, where he lied down and curled up next to Aaron.  
"Why didnt you sleep with me, Aaron? You dont want to? Dont you like me? Am I not good enough for you?" asked Zak, his eyes still closed.  
"No, Zak, its not like that. I like you... and you are more than... enough, but... the rules..."  
"Fuck it! I hate it! I hate those damn rules and I hate the whole game!" cried Zak out and clenched on Aarons shirt, letting tears roll down from his eyes.  
"I want you... Im losing my mind, nothing matters to me, just you, your hands, your lips, your skin and I just want more, more of you, all of you..." whispered Zak. He wanted to tell Aaron that this is all wrong, that this isnt good anymore, that he wants to end the game, that he wants to be with Aaron, no matter what that means, no matter what he needs to do, but sleep was taking over him again and he wasnt able to fight it, so he just said _I just think that... I love you... I think I fucking do... And I dont know how to deal with that..._ before falling sound asleep. Aaron held him in his arms until he was sure that Zak is really sleeping and he kissed Zak on his cheeks, whispering _I love you too, my baby boy_ , before he went back to his room, hoping to get some rest but the only thing he was able to do for the rest of the night was to stare at the ceiling, thinking about Zaks words and cursing himself for coming up with the idea for that stupid game he forced Zak, and in fact even himself, to play.


	13. November

(28. 11.)

Since Halloween, Zak wasnt in a great mood, but he refused to talk with Aaron about anything that happened. Now Thanksgiving came, which wasnt Zaks favorite holiday. He had too many bad memories about it, same as about Christmas, but Aaron promised him that this Thanksgving is going to be different and Zaks mood slowly got better.  
 _How much he later wished he wouldnt promise him that..._

Aaron had a quick meeting in the morning, so Zak prepared everything before he came back. They also invited Billy, Jay and Dakota for the dinner and Zak was looking forward to it, but at 11am, Aaron appeared between the door with a guilty face.  
"No, dont tell me that you have something to do at your work."  
Aaron shrugged his shoulders: "Well, then I dont know what else to say."  
"But you promised me that we are going to cook together! You told me, that you will spend the day with me! Why cant you have a day off? Its a holiday, everyone has got a day off! Even Billy and Jay arent working today, _you_ gave them a day off! So why cant you have one? Why cant Billy do the work, at least today? Or Jay? I bet myself that they would understand that we want to spend this day together!"  
"A customer needs a review about some bussiness opportunities in West Europe. Billy is a specialist for the Eastern Europe and the client said that he wants me to do that. Its a lot of money."  
"A lot of money, is that all you care about?"  
"No, Zak, but I care about the reputation of my company. And I take responsibility for many people. Every mistake can cost a lot of job opportunities of our employees. Not only me, Billy or Jay, but hundreds of people in our country and in Europe who are dependend on their jobs. I pay good money to people that are working at my company, but a single mistake, making a client mad even for a little time can mean that I may not be able to pay that much money to my employees and I dont want to put anyone in a situation of being worried or sad about having less money or even losing their jobs."  
"Alright, I get it, but... does that mean that you wont be home tonight?"  
"No, babe, I will be back around 4pm."  
"So that means that Im supposed to cook the whole dinner alone? The turkey needs to be in the oven at least for 5 hours!"  
"I dont know, Zak... Im so sorry... Maybe you could do the turkey and then Im going to help you with the rest?"  
"Thats impossible to manage!"  
"Then... cook what you will be able to and then..."  
"It still means that Im gonna cook everything alone!"  
"Then I promise to at least wash all of the dishes, ok?" Aaron pulled Zak closer and kissed him on the tip of his nose.  
"Ok," said Zak. "4pm?"  
"4pm," repeated Aaron, kissed Zak quickly and disappeared again.

Zak went back to the kitchen and sighed. The turkey, the stuffing, puding, mashed potatoes, green beans with bacon, sauce, two pies... it was a lot of work. Zak was mad, but he just started to cook, because he wanted to at least try to prepare a perfect thanksgiving dinner for both of him and Aaron and also for their friends.

\--------

It was 5pm and Aaron still wasnt at home. Zak was mad as hell and looked like a desperate housewife, like _a real one_ , not the barbies at TV, but with real flour and sauce spots on his napron and with real anger flowing like a liquid fire in his veins.  
He was walking around the kitchen like a lion in a cage. Aaron was nowhere to find. Zak tried to call him numerous times, but he wasnt picking up the phone and the only thing that was calming Zak down was that he somehow managed the time and continuity of cooking the meals, so he had almost everything done.   
It was 6pm, when the door clicked.  
"There you are, you son of a bitch!" shouted Zak and came running to the hall with a wooden kitchen roller in his hand, making Aaron laughing out loud.  
"So you are laughing at me?!" yelled Zak, that was even more angry.  
"No, you just look cute like that," giggled Aaron, trying to calm down the situation.  
"You promised me to come back at 4pm! Youre two hours late!" hissed Zak and went back to the kitchen.  
Aaron followed him and offered help, but Zak told him that he doesnt need any. Aaron noticed that there isnt actually something that he could be helpful with, because Zak was already cleaning the kitchen, so he at least went to the dining room to decorate the table.

Jay, Billy and Dakota came as they promised, but the atmosphere in Aarons house was heavy. Zak wasnt talking at all, the only time he said something was, when he got compliments about the food and he didnt miss the chance to tell his guests that he made the whole dinner alone, piercing Aaron with his stare while saying that. Aaron was nervous and silent too, so when the dinner was eaten and the courtesy phrases were said, the guests thanked for a nice evening and for tasty food and vanished.

As soon as the door closed, Zak turned to Aaron.  
"So? Can you explain it?"  
Aaron scratched his head.  
"Zak, I... it took a little longer than I expected..."  
"Really? Thats what youre gonna tell me? Why did it take a longer time?"  
"I needed to make a few phone calls that I didnt know that I will need to do in the end."  
"Yes, your work, your employees, your company, your calls... Its still the same thing. I... Im... I just wanted to spend some time with you!"  
"We did!"  
"Yeah, we spent _some time_ together. But I wanted to be with you _today_! And you promised me that you will be with me on Thanksgiving!"  
"I was!"  
"No, you werent! You appeared when everything was done, you werent picking up your phone..."  
"Im sorry, Zak, I..."  
"No, I dont want to hear it! You should just keep your promise and be with me! You are my boyfriend! Thats what youre supposed to do!"  
"Your... your boyfriend? What do you mean? We never said... we both never agreed to..."  
"So what are you to me? What are _we_? Friends? I dont thinks so, friends dont do the things we do. Are you my client? No, no longer. You cant be my client because Im no longer at the club, Im living with you, together with you at your house. Are we just strangers? No, were not. I told you things that no one else knows. So what are you to me? What _am I_ to you?" whispered Zak and suddenly ran forward and hit Aaron in the chest, with clenched fists like an angry child. " _What am I to you_?" shouted he.  
"Everything... Youre my everything, Zak."  
Aaron pulled Zak closer and Zak froze after hearing what Aaron just said and the only sign of Zak being alive was that his body was trembling a little. Then he pushed Aaron away.  
"Yeah? You know whats funny? Youre my everything too, Aaron! So why dont we just fuck the whole game and live like it never happened? Like we just met and then became a couple? Because you fucking wont, because you refuse. Just because of _you_."  
Zak went to his room, locked the door and as always when he was mad, he remained silent until Aaron gave up the knocking and sweet talk outside and went to his own place, leaving Zak to deal with his emotions alone.


	14. December

(17. 12.)

December came and the Thanksgiving incident seemed to be forgotten. Aaron spent a lot of time at home with Zak, decorating the house, baking sweets and cookies, shopping for presents and talking while sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace, drinking mulled wine. Zak was excited about the upcoming holidays and Aaron was trying to join him, but as the Christmas Eve was still nearer and nearer, he was more and more silent.   
When they went to a christmas market a week before Christmas, Zak, who was still trying to cheer Aaron up, had enough. His good mood changed drastically when Aaron walked with him through the market without saying a single word. Zak again locked himself in the room when they returned home and the days after this happened, he refused to see Aaron. He spent a lot of time alone, writing something, blasting the music loud.

**Tear me up like a photograph  
and the colors fade to nothing  
Staying numb in the aftermath   
cus its easier than runnin...**

**It cuts deeper than it did before  
strike me down like lightening   
Win the battle then I lose a war  
endlessly you’re fighting  
And I don’t know how to shake this feeling   
I’m fucked up but it aint no healing   
Was it the poison or the remedy  
oh ya gotta give me something   
cus I aint feeling nothing...**

**Vacancy  
I get so lost in the nothing  
Inside of me the shadows always running...**

**Talking to my cellphone  
holed up in a bedroom  
hanging on a feeling  
looking up at god   
I fucked up a lot   
I’m cursing at the ceiling   
the city never felt like home  
only for a fleeting moment  
you don't want to talk  
and you don't want to touch  
and this is how we’re dealing   
time goes...**

**Came here a for a moment  
wake up and ur leaving  
the city never felt like home  
only for a fleeting moment  
sinking to the bottom   
waiting for a reason   
hanging onto nothing  
nothing...**

**And what if I never find love again?  
These paper walls are breakin in  
and I know I aint gon love the same...**

\-------

(24. 12.)

As if it was another rule, Zak woke up being in a bad mood again. Aaron tried to cheer him up by bringing him a breakfast into the bed, eggs, vegetables, bread, coffee, orange juice and a chocolate croissant, everything hand made by Aaron, who went out from bed really early to cook everything, even the bread wasnt bought at a store and he had a hard time finding out how to make the yeast work and ended up trying three times, before he could bake the bread poperly.

Zak said a quick _thanks_ and angrily chewed on the food, while Aaron was sitting next to him on the bed, watching him silently with a desperate look on his face.  
"Zak, I dont want to argue today... Its... It should be a nice day, its Christmas after all and I..."  
"Yeah, today its Christmas, so were gonna be kind to each other. And what about the whole December?"  
"I thought that were spending time together a lot, finally, I thought that it makes you happy, you wanted it, you talked about it..." Aaron hung his head sadly.  
" You barely talked to me the whole month! Fine, we spent time together, but getting a word out of you, that was an almost impossible thing!"  
"Im... Im just nervous."  
"About what again? About the game coming to its end?"  
"Yes, about this too, but... cant we just... I dont know, enjoy the day no matter how it will end?"  
"Alright, just dont tell me that this Christmas will be different from my others, like the Thanksgiving."  
Aaron nodded and finally smiled, but Zak felt a painful squeeze around his heart.

_But it is... This Christmas will be different... This Christmas... its all going to end, the game will be over and then... whats gonna happen to us?_

"Eat your breakfast and then meet me outside. Wear something warm, a coat or somewhat, Im gonna take you to a special place today," said Aaron.  
"A special place? But... the house, the tree..."  
"Were gonna make that, I promise. Our trip wont be longer than two hours, the place isnt so far, were gonna be back around 11am."

\-----------

Zak stepped out of the car, searching for a place that Aaron could possibly choose to visit on Christmas day and he was surprised, when Aaron led him to an animal shelter.  
"Are you trying to make me upset or soft?" Zak crossed his arms over his chest, but in a second after he just forgot to be mad at all. "Oh, look, those kitties!"  
Zak disappeared from Aarons side at the time he noticed that the shelter allows to cuddle with all of the animals and ended up going from one cage to another, petting the cats and dogs, giving them treats and talking to them and after a hour he finally noticed that Aarons isnt following him and went to search for him.

"Mister Goodwin, thats... thats an amazing gift, I... I dont know what to say..."  
"You dont need to say anything, Im just trying to help in some way."  
Zak heard a woman talking with Aaron and hid himself behind the corner.  
"Yeah, but... its... its a lot of money. Are you sure that you want to just give us and the other five shelters so much of money?"  
"Yes, Im sure."  
"Its... 60 milions dollars, mister Goodwin. Thats... its just... I cant even quickly think of all the things we will be able to buy for our little friends, for what can we pay... Its so sudden, Im still surprised..."  
"If I would know how to do that, I would taky every animal and give it a home, but I cant, so I want to help in some other way. Do what you think its best for the animals, whether its food, toys, medical treatments, building another shelter, whatever. Use the money to save as many animals as you will be able to, thats my only wish."  
"I would at least like to write an article for the newspaper if you wouldnt mind, to let the city know who helped us..."  
"No, please... It may sound strange, but I dont want the people to know that it was me who gave you the money. The check will have a name of one of my smaller companies to prevent misunderstoodings of course, so you can legaly explain where you got the money from."  
"But why?"  
"I dont want to be in the focus of the media. Someone, who has a lot of money gives milions to an animal shelter on Christmas, thats kinda cliche and I dont want the world to see me as someone who just wants to get attention, because its not like that. I want to help the animals, so please, promise me that you wont tell the truth to anybody, ok?"  
"I promise, mister Goodwin. Thank you, again, thank you so much."  
"No problem," said Aaron. "Merry Christmas."

Zak had just a few seconds to return to the animals, before Aaron entered the room.  
"So? Where have you been?" asked Zak.  
"I was just making a phone call, Im sorry... And? What about you? Did you make some new friends?"  
"Yeah, these kitties are so cute! And this dog, he looks so sad, but he cheered up when I gave him a treat and cuddled him! And those bunnies, they are so funny, look, they almost look like they are able to make faces, look!"  
Aaron smiled and hugged Zak from behind. "Who do you like the most?"  
"Benny."  
"The sad amstaff?"  
"Yeah... look at him. Look at his eyes, so desperate, but still so full of love..."  
"Benny is friendly, I know."  
"How could someone get rid of him? Hes a total sweetheart..."  
"Yeah... hes amazing," Aaron leaned down to cuddle the dog a little.   
"Can we keep him? Take him home with us?" asked Zak suddenly.  
"Zak... I dont think it would be good to make such a decision today, you know, because... we dont know what will happen."  
"Oh," sighed Zak. "Right..." He kneeled down and hugged the dog like he would hug a little child.  
"I will be back soon, Benny, Im gonna visit you, ok? I will miss you, buddy. And I will have many many treats for you, when I come back, alright? Good boy," smiled Zak, but a tear was rolling out of his eye, when he stood up and followed Aaron out of the shelter.

\-------------

Zak and Aaron were decorating the christmas tree together, and although Zak wasnt sure about it, Aaron told him that it looks amazing in his eyes, because its made by them, which made Zak at least smile a little.  
The dinner was ready too and they both sat down to the table, trying to avoid the moment of talking about the game, but when it was 11:24pm and they were now sitting in front of the fireplace with a glass of wine, Zak just cutted right in the flesh.  
"So? Whos gonna win today?"  
"I... I dont know."  
"  
"If its gonna be you, then what?"  
"Thats something I dont know either.  
"And if I win?"  
"Then youre free to go. And as you wished, I wont be searching for you. We both are playing the game and we both will play it by the rules until the end."  
"And what would you like to happen?"  
"Anything thats gonna make you happy."  
"Then kiss me..." 

Aaron turned to Zak to kiss him on his lips slowly.  
"You want to know what would make me happy?"  
"What?"  
"To stay with you."  
"Really? Why?"  
"I dont know, because... because I like to be with you?" Zaks good mood disappeared and he started to be angry again.  
"Zak, be honest. Im barely at home. Why would you like to stay with someone who isnt giving you as much as you need?"  
"I understand that you need to work, I get it now."  
"Yeah, you told me that many times and then you were mad at me when I couldnt stay at home."  
"I know, but its..."  
"Then tell me the real reason. Why do you want to stay with me? Because of the money? Because of the comfort?"  
" _The money?_ What do you think of me? No!"  
"Then why?"  
"Because... because youre kind," smiled Zak and cuddled to Aaron. "Because your handsome, because I can talk with you about things that I was scared to even think of, because youre smart..."  
"Just because of that?"  
Zak became mad and totally lost it.  
"Oh my God, you and your questions! What do you want to hear from me?"  
"The truth."  
"Okay! The truth is that I want to stay with you, because... because..."  
"Because what?"  
"Because I love you, you jerk! And it fucks me up! I didnt want it to happen, ok, but it did, it just fucking happened and now I dont know what Im gonna do without you!" Zak jumped up from the couch.  
"W... what?" asked Aaron and stood up too, when he came back to the reality after the whole world went dark and silent for a second, trying to process what Zak just said out loud and straight into his face.  
"I... I love you," whined Zak and cuddled back to Aaron, his body shaking. "Thats the truth."  
"I love you too, baby boy," responded Aaron and suddenly kissed Zak, pushing him to the wall. "I love you too... so much... I love you in a way I never experienced, I love you too, I love you too..." mumbled Aaron in the mean time of kissing Zaks neck.  
Zak felt lightheaded. 

_Overwhelming... it cant happen... but its so, so amazing..._

Zak didnt try to resist when Aaron practically lifted him up and he wrapped his legs around Aarons waist and left Aaron to carry him into the bedroom. Aaron laid him down to the bed, taking off both of their clothes slowly and then admiring Zaks naked body.  
"Youre so beautiful, my baby boy... I just couldnt think about anything else than this, _you_ , naked under me, under my hands, under my tongue..."  
Aaron leaned down, kissing Zak all over the neck, leaving faint red spot as he was sucking and biting on the skin, then moved down across the chest and stomach, right between Zaks thighs, taking his cock inside his mouth, making Zak moaning out loud, squeezing the sheets between his fists in pleasure. He lifted his eyelids to watch Aaron, as he was circling with the tongue around the top, a view that he never got tired of.  
"Thats why Im doing it," smiled Aaron a little bit. "You always get this look in your eyes... It makes me insane..."  
Aaron got up to face Zak.  
"You are making me insane, Zak. And I... I want to have you. I just cant hold it back anymore. When you said that you... _love_ me, it awakened something in me and I... I _need_ to have you, I cant wait any longer."  
He was still staring right into Zaks eyes while taking out the lube, preparing Zak with fingers and crawling back at the top of him.  
"No... I... I dont want to win the game, please... I dont want to leave..." whispered Zak, but he moved his hips towards Aaron, when he slowly started entering into him, painfuly slow just to make the moment he was dreaming about last longer.  
"Blue," slipped from Zaks trembling lips. Aaron stared at him for a few seconds, but then just kept on moving.  
"Blue! You didnt hear me? Stop! Blue!"  
"Oh, Zak... you shouldnt agree to this color to be the password... Im afraid that the word _blue_   
reminds me too much of your eyes... and everything that reminds me of you makes me lose my mind..." 

When Zak told Aaron that he loves him, Aaron didnt know if Zak told the truth or just said something he thought that Aaron wants to hear, but it made Aaron to give up. Did Zak lie to him? Was he telling the truth? He didnt think about it. He was convinced that Zak wants to be free, that he wants to live his life just as he wants to, without being dependend on some time schedule and this... this was the last chance to give Zak what he wants and to get what Aaron _needs_. He always knew that he is gonna let Zak go one day, but he wanted the time he spends together with Zak to be as long as possible and now... now it was the last moment he has got to end the game and let Zak win it.

_We both are playing the game and we both will play it by the rules until the end..._

"I... I wont last long... I waited too long for this and now... I cant..."  
"I understand," said Zak silently, while caressing Aaron on his back, scratching his ass checks with his nails when Aaron got deeper. "Come inside me... Do it..."  
Aarons moves fastened and became harder and short, he kissed Zak and somewhere in the distance, a church bell ringed, letting the city know that the midnight is here.  
Zak bursted out crying. He tried to be silent, to not interrupt Aarons groaning with a single sound and he was still until Aaron didnt lift his head to look him in the eyes again.  
"Why... Why did you do that?" cried Zak.  
Aaron just crawled down without saying a single word.  
"Why did you do that?" shouted Zak, his eyes full of tears. "What am I supposed to do? Whats gonna happen with us now?"  
Aaron was sitting on the bed, turned to Zak with his back.  
"Now... now youre free to go."  
"You fucker! You cant do that! I love you! Lets just talk about this!"  
"Theres nothing to talk about. The rules are clear."  
Aaron stood up, still not facing Zak, but dressing up.  
"What... what are you doing? Where are you going?" yelled Zak, when Aaron moved to the door.  
"Im... Im sorry, Zak. Im sorry that you needed to experience all of this. The car for you is parked outside the house. Im gonna give you everything I promised you, everything thats written in the rules and I wont..." Aarons voice cracked. "I wont contact you. Never. As you wished."  
Aaron went out of the room and Zak ran after him, just as he was, naked, but Aaron was faster, jumped in his car and quickly left, leaving Zak staying between the door.

\----------

Zak waited the whole night. He tried to call Aaron and text him numerous times, but around 2am Aaron turned his phone off. Zak was awake until morning.

When the keys rattled at the door, he didnt know if hes more happy or angry, that Aaron came back, but to his disappoinment the one who went through the door wasnt Aaron, but Billy.  
"Where is he? Where is Aaron?" yelled he at Billy.  
"I dont know, man, he just left this at my office with a note to give it to you."  
Billy handed Zak an envelope and a set of keys.  
"I assume that these are from Aarons second car," scratched Billy his head.  
Zak opened the envelope. It was hiding a check, some paper money and a credit card. No letter, nothing to explain whats going on.

Zak stood in the hall, just staring in front of himself.

"Thats how he tells me to get out? By sending me money and car keys? Like _Heres your paycheck, now fuck off, I dont need you anymore_ or what?"  
"I dont know, Zak... I have no clue, I know as much as you do."  
"So you know nothing?"  
"Yeah. I didnt even talk with Aaron, when I came to work, he was already gone, the only thing I found was this and the note, nothing more. Im... Im sorry."  
"You dont need to be, you didnt do anything wrong, Billy."

Zaks eyes filled with tears.

_Why... why is he doing this to me? Because he got what he wanted? Because he had his fun time and now, as he got me, hes ready for something new? Then why did we play the game? Why did he want me to try seduce him? Why did he say and do all of these things? Was it all just for fun? Did he just use me like everyone else did? Did he just made me to fall in love with him for nothing?_

"So... I assume that I should go."  
"Zak... Im so, so sorry, I dont know what to say... Do you want to help with something? Can I take you somewhere or..."  
"No, thanks. I actually _got a car and some money_ ," said Zak sarcastically, "so you dont need to be worried about me. Im just gonna pack some things and... and then I will get the hell out of here."

Zak left Billy downstairs and went back to _his_ room, packing a few things like his favorite clothes and the laptop, leaving everything else in its place, he didnt take any photographs or _stuff connected with Aaron_ and headed out of the house quickly, not minding Billy still standing in the hall, without turning back, angry and mad, but with desperate and sorrowful tears on his cheeks.

\-------

Aaron woke up in the hotel room after 15 minutes of sleeping. He wanted to rest, but he couldnt. His head was filled with images of Zak.

_Zaks eyes. Two wells full of healing water, reflecting the faint light of moonlight on midsummers night. His eyelashes. Two wings of a dark butterly. His smile. Two rose petals, in a pale shade of pink. His voice. Soothing waves of a dangerous ocean..._

Aaron got up and went to make himself a coffee, trying to figure out what to do from now on.

_Because without Zak... nothings gonna be the same. Maybe if I would at least have someone who would know how terrible it is to live without Zak because he likes him too and it maybe would ease the pain I feel, because I could share it with someone..._

\--------

Zak was sitting in the car, thinking about what he should do.

_I need to go to a hotel for some days, before Im gonna find some place to rent or something..._

...thought he, but he also felt like just doing nothing, like just sitting, staring out of the car window, letting the tears silently flow and fall from his eyes, until he starves to death and some cop randomly driving by finds his rotten corpse.

_Maybe then would everything be fine again..._

No, thats not right, he needs to be strong, he needs to do something that will make him happy, something that will cheer him up...

_What could it be? What else than being with Aaron? Maybe if..._

Zak started the car and headed back to the city.

\------

In the end Aaron decided to go back home. He was afraid of going back to his house, into _the house_ he shared with Zak. The house he and Zak _lived in together_. He texted Billy, asking if Zak is still there. When Billy answered him that Zak left a while ago, Aaron sighed with relief, but he also felt pain clenching his heart. 

Before coming back, he made a quick stop in the town, and when he came back home, he just waved his hand at Billy, who was still sitting here, making him close his mouth, although Billy wanted to ask him a few questions.  
"I dont want to hear anything," said Aaron simply and disappeared not into his, but into Zaks room.

\-----

Zak parked his car in front of the animal shelter. For some reason he knew that he wont be able to cope with the solitude alone, but he didnt want someone to ask him questions and his first thought was about Benny, his favorite animal in the shelter, but when he asked for him, the woman said that just a moment ago there was someone, who took him to give him a new home. Zak thought he will collapse right at that moment. He lost Aaron, so he thought that he will at least have Benny, but... no, he was alone.

He went back to the car and headed to the other end of the city to find some bar to drink for so long until his head will become clear. Or at least for so long that it will make him forget about Aaron for a while.

\-----

The signs of Zaks presence were all around. An open book on the bed. A sweater thrown over the chair. His scent on the sheets.

Aaron sat down on the bed, his head in his hands.

_He was right. We should have talked about it. I shouldnt let him go... And now he is gone._

Aaron stood up to leave the room, but something caught his attention. A pile of papers on the table, where Zaks laptop had its place. He went to the table to see whats written on the papers and he almost passed out when he started to read.

**Dangerous**

**by**

**the Ghost**

__

_When I first met him, he was just a client, he was just a job for me. He meant nothing. But now... he just turned my world upside down and now, when he is gone, I know that he means everything to me. And I know that I love him. And I know that I cant love nobody else.  
.  
.  
._


	15. The Book

**Dangerous**

**by**

**the Ghost**

__

_When I first met him, he was just a client, he was just a job for me. He meant nothing. But then... he just turned my world upside down and now, when he is gone, I know that he means everything to me. And I lost him. I lost my everything._

_The day we met seemed to be like any other. I was prepared to do a birthday dance for a client. One of his friend thought that I am the best birthday gift idea and came up with the whole set, from the costume to the music. Nothing special. I used to do stuff like that often, a client has a dream and I am suppossed to make this dream come true._

_When I went on stage that night, I smiled a little. He was shy and a little bit uncomfortable, I could tell that easily. He was handsome and he was looking so sweet, blushing everytime I turned my stare to him. I liked that. I could tell that he really likes what he sees, and when I sat on his lap I actually fell that what he sees is catching his eye, so I told him that I noticed and when he agreed, I kissed him._

_And the time suddenly stopped._

_I could feel him tense all up with surprise, but then he quickly gave into the kiss and maybe he didnt even realize what he was doing, but he grasped my waist, being eager like as if he just got the first kiss in his life.  
"Happy Birthday," I whispered in his ear and left, exactly like the performance was planned._

_And from that evening he started to visit the club regulary.  
.  
.  
.  
My boss came to me and told me, that I need to prepare for another VIP meeting. I immediately thought its gonna be him. I had two VIP clients, but I wasnt exactly the audiences favorite dancer, so there in fact wasnt anyone else who would like to meet me in private._

_And I was right._

_I laughed, when I said that he is my most devoted fan and he worried about looking like a creep. How cute. If he only lnew that he was the first one that actually cared about what I think about him or about what we are doing together. And he... he thought that Im amazing._

_So I danced for him. And like the boss wanted, I left him to take off my pants, being all naked underneath them, and then I did the same thing as I did when he had his birthday. I crawled in his lap and kissed him.  
.  
.  
.  
"I missed you," whispered he and I knew that this is gonna be a problem soon...  
.  
.  
.  
"I dont think I want to do that, boss," I tried to talk back, knowing its in vain.  
"Zak... I think we talked about this earlier, huh? Didnt we? You want to send your mother some money? Perhaps you dont. Perhaps you want her to see your lifeless body on TV in the morning news. So? What do you want? Are you gonna do what I want you to do?"  
.  
.  
.  
I was kneeling in front of him, questioning my decision. Wouldnt it be better to let my boss just kill me instead of being forced to do things that I dont want to do? Or worse... What if I somehow want to please my special client, but Im afraid of what it could do to us both?  
.  
.  
.  
I woke up and he was sitting on the bed, watching me with big eyes, telling me that he took me to Norway and from now on... we are together.  
.  
.  
.  
Like... two milions? Is he mad? I would consider to pay so much money for a family member in danger, but... me? Im nothing special. Just a man, whos best years are over. And he talked about paying that price like as if it would be a good deal, admitting that he would gladly pay 40 milions, if my boss would set my price that high, just to have me. I was shocked. Why did he do that? Is he that desperate that he rather buys someone instead of trying to have a normal relationship? Or am I really that important for him that he did a thing that could easily send him to prison just to get me out of the club?  
But at that time I didnt think about the second option. I was stubborn. I was mad. I only saw it all from a bad point of wiev and I didnt even try to take the second option as a possible one.  
And then he suddenly asked me to play a game with him.  
.  
.  
.  
I mean... being forced to do things under the threat of being murdered if I wont do them or playing some weird fifthy shades of grey game with the chance to win the freedom? Well... I dont know if its better, but... at least there is a little chance...  
.  
.  
.  
...swearing that he doesnt love me, that the whole game is just about the body, about the sexual desire.  
He lied. He lied and I knew that.  
.  
.  
.  
"I want to play the game."  
He obviously wanted to say something or ask me a question, but I didnt give him time to do that and I took control and kissed him, making him groan silently and suddenly I could actually feel the sound of his moan vibrating through my body.  
And for the first time... it made me weak. It made me crave him, his touches, his lips..._

_"Fuck me," I whispered.  
"You really want it?" asked he and I nodded. "Yeah."  
¨Look at me..."  
I looked straight into his eyes, trying to make him trust me, to trust me that I really want it to happen right now. And I wanted it. But I also asked myself ´do I really crave it that much´? Not because I wouldnt want to feel him close, but... it would mean the end. And I wasnt sure if I want this all to end so quickly.   
.  
.  
.  
"...no, Zak, I need to fuck you and cum inside of you, thats how you win."  
I shivered. For some reason I instantly imagined what he was talking about...  
.  
.  
.  
I was kneeling in front of him, tasting him with my mouth.  
"Youre my baby boy, arent you?" whispered he.  
I raised my stare to look into his eyes. ´So... this is what he likes?´ I asked myself. ´He is just 4 days older than me, but... if this is what makes him vulnerable... alright then.´  
.  
.  
.  
"I missed you."  
"You really did?"  
"Are you afraid that Im saying that just because the game?"  
"Maybe..."  
I cuddled closer: "I really missed you..."  
I felt the doubt, the insecurity inside him, but I didnt lie. I just told him, because I felt like telling him, I actually didnt think about saying that, because it was spontaneous. It was spontaneous, because it was a truth.  
.  
.  
.  
He was taking my clothes off slowly, while I was trying to speed things up, just to see what happens, just to find out what exactly it is that makes him excited.   
It was obvious. He wanted to be in control. He wanted to see and feel that whatever he is doing, its making me crazy.  
So I did what I was the best at. I started to please him in a way that looked like I am the one that is horny as fuck, just to make him believe that he really made me feel that way and then... then I showed him whos actually in control.  
.  
.  
._

_...and I said: "Straight boys, yeah, they are my curse, obviously."  
He looked at me and smiled a little. He tried to hide it, but I knew he understood the meaning of my words right.  
"I would never do that to you, Zak. I mean... lie to you," said he and looked straight into my eyes.  
"I know."_

_Yes, I knew that he wouldnt. He was the only person in this world that I was sure he wouldnt lie to me.  
.  
.  
.  
And at that time I suddenly realized, that Im not trying to get his attention because I want to win, but because I simply want him to touch me. I wanted him. I wanted him to want me. I wanted him to catch me in his arms and whisper filthy things in my ear, telling me what he is about to do with me and then...  
.  
.  
.  
"Thats... thats how you feel about me?" asked he after reading the poem.  
I just nodded, having milions of other poems written inside of me, every one speaking about him and the things we could do if we would both admit the truth, but I decided to give him this one, a poem that says a lot, but actually doesnt reveal anything.  
.  
.  
.  
And when he came and saved me, when I fell into his arms, I knew it, I just knew it. I felt it, I knew its real. I was sure about it. But I didnt say anything. I was too afraid. Is it too early?_

_...is it too late?  
.  
.  
.  
...maybe I should have told him. Maybe I should have told him that I love him... Maybe at that time it still would save something....  
.  
.  
.  
He obviously thought that Im already sleeping, because he said: "You are my something special, Zak. And I feel like Ive waited for all of my life just to have a chance to love someone like you, my baby boy."  
I tried to not make a single move and pretended that Im actually sleeping, just so I wont scare him. I should open my eyes and tell him, that I feel the same about him, but I missed him so much that day and I didnt want to ruin that moment, it was too perfect, too amazing, too magical to ruin it with talking about things that would force us to have a deeper conversation about how we really feel and I knew that if I would tell out loud how I really feel about him, it would change everything and I didnt believe it would end well...  
.  
.  
.  
"You would always be my choice, no matter what."  
I cuddled closer. His heartbeat was steady and it, although I wasnt feeling well, calmed me down.  
I felt like there is nothing I would want to do more at that moment than just this, being with him, close to him, listening to the sound of his heart, to the sweetest sound I ever heard...  
.  
.  
.  
I was staring at our reflection and I saw his eyes, knowing hes telling me the truth and it was for the first time in my life I felt really beautiful in someones eyes, and not just on the outside, but on the inside and all I knew was that I just want to stay here, with him, because the feeling he was giving me was the best thing I ever experienced.  
.  
.  
.  
"Its just so amazing to be with you..."  
"I feel the same about you," said he, but I saw in his eyes that he isnt sure about what I told him. What was I expecting? He actually told me later that day, as we were making out in that tiny cabin bed, that he doesnt know if what he sees in my eyes isnt fake... What would I do if I would be in his position? Would I believe the other man or not?  
.  
.  
.  
"I just think that... I love you... I think I fucking do... And I dont know how to deal with that..."   
I confessed to him, the heaviness of sleeping taking over me. He said something silently, holding me close, but I was too tired to understand what he was telling me. I was just hoping that now, as I told him, things will become different. How wrong I was...  
.  
.  
.  
"What am I to you?"   
I was yelling at him, trying to make him finally answer me.  
"Everything... Youre my everything, Zak."  
He took me closer and I didnt know if Im able to continue at that point. What he said, yes, I wanted to hear something like that desperately, but... why wasnt he behaving like that? If I meant that much to him, why wasnt he willing to stop the game and try to live like anybody else would? Just like two people in love would live?  
.  
.  
.  
...and now Im here. Im lost without him. And he wants me to go. What am I supposed to do? Those stupid rules. The game is over, who cares about the rules anyway, when its all done?_

_I dont. But he does for some reason._

_Maybe it was a lie. Maybe he doesnt love me. Maybe he loves me so much that he wants me to have a choice. What should I do? Stay? Leave? I dont know what he wants, but I know what I want._

_I want him. With all my heart. With every inch of my body. With my whole soul._

_So what do I do now? What do **we** do now?_


	16. The End

Zak was sitting alone at a quiet, small bar with a bottle of whiskey, just staring in front of him, motionless. He only moved his hand to take another sip from the glass or pour some more honey colored alcohol into it. It was late at night when he decided to finally find a hotel to stay over night, so he paid for the drinks, realizing that he didnt drink _as much as he wished_ to numb his feeling at least for a little and went out of the club. He actually wanted to get drunk as much as possible and take a taxi to the nearest strip club or something, just to watch naked boys dancing in the same way he used to dance, knowing that not a single one of them can catch his eye in the way Aaron did when it was past midnight and he smiled at Zak, his eyes tired, but caring and kind, but somehow he didnt achieve that. He thought that he didnt even drink that much to not drive his car. And if the cops will catch him?

_So what? I dont care. And if Im going to die in a car accident? Yeah, who cares either?_

He opened the car and was about to get in, when he felt like as if someone is watching him. He turned around to see what made him feel that way and there he was. Standing in the shadows. His face was surrounded with darkness, but Zak knew who it was. And then the silhouette smirked in a creepy way.

"Look who we have here. Havent seen you in a while, _sweet boy_..."

\------

.  
.  
.

_...and now Im here. Im lost without him. And he wants me to go. What am I supposed to do? Those stupid rules. The game is over, who cares about the rules anyway, when its all done?_

_I dont. But he does for some reason._

_Maybe it was a lie. Maybe he doesnt love me. Maybe he loves me so much that he wants me to have a choice. What should I do? Stay? Leave? I dont know what he wants, but I know what I want._

_I want him. With all my heart. With every inch of my body. With my whole soul._

_So what do I do now? What do **we** do now?_

**THE END**

Aaron left the papers to fall out of his hands and ran back to the living room, hoping that Billy is still there. 

"I need to find him!" shouted he, when he found Billy sitting on the couch.  
"You mean Zak?"  
"Of course! I need to find him! I need to talk to him!"  
"Calm down, buddy, its gonna be fine, were gonna find him."  
"But how? I told him to go and he really left and now I dont know what to do! I fucked up! I dont know what to do!"  
"Aaron, for Gods sake, calm down a little, tell me what happened!"  
"No, you tell me what happened! What did he say when he left? How did he look like?"  
"He was... well, surprised. And angry. And sad, more like devastated actually. Aaron... Im sorry for asking, but... you seemed to like Zak. Why the hell did you tell him to leave? And why are you now, as he left, freaking out so much?"  
"You know about the game we played? Me and Zak?"  
Billy just nodded.  
"A little bit."  
"Ok... so, one of the rules was that if Zak wins, he will leave and I will not contact him."  
"Alright...?"  
"But I love him. And he said that he loves me. So I left him win. And now he is gone. But I need to find him, right now. I need to talk to him one more time."  
"Actually, I didnt get a word, but... ok. You need to find him... So, how are we gonna do that? Wait, Aaron, what car did you give to Zak?"  
"Oh my God, Billy! Youre right! Youre a genius! We can find him in no time!"

\---------

"Nick," breathed Zak out in surprise... or maybe even fear.  
"Oh, you remember my name. Nice. What are you doing here... alone? Where is your boyfriend?"  
"Aaron... is not my boyfriend."  
"Aaron? Yeah, actually that name suits him well. Aaron. Like a big huggy bear. Hmm. What happened between you two? I thought he is your lover."  
"Thats none of your bussines."  
"Really? I think it is. Because if hes not your boyfriend and _hes not here_... then he cant help you to escape me this time..."

Nicks silhuette stepped out of the shadows and went near to Zak, who quickly tried to come up with some plan.

_Can I run?_ thought he, _Or is it too late?_

\---------

Aaron was driving the car with Billy and Jay on the backseat like as if they wouldnt be humans, but only sacks filled with potatoes or something.  
"What if he doesnt love me?" shouted Aaron over his shoulder.  
"I dont know... cant we... cant you just slow down? I dont want to die tonight," yelled Billy back at him, but Aaron didnt do what Billy wanted him to do.  
"What if he wont come back?" asked he instead.  
"Im sure he will," said Jay, while trying to hold onto the seat in front of himself. "Hes into you, Im sure about that."  
"But... what if he is gonna blame me for not spending time with him?"  
"Aaron, look, if you slow down a little, Im gonna promise you that we will take care about the company, ok? Me and Jay, we wont let anything bad happen. Just... take that man you love and go on a long vacation with him somewhere hes gonna like it, somewhere you two can be totally alone, ok? Just... just slow down a little, for Gods sake!"  
Aaron finally slowed down a little.  
"Thank you," said Billy, trying to calm down after the wild ride.  
"You dont need to, Im not stopping because of you. Were here."

Aaron stepped out of the car, Billy and Jay following him. Aaron turned around, but he didnt see Zak or the car.  
"Maybe he parked the car behind the club, it seems like theres another parking lot," explained Billy, looking at the screen of his phone with the data about Zaks location.   
"Alright... and maybe hes at the club. Im gonna go inside. If I wont find him in there, I will go to the second parking lot."  
"Ok."  
"And Billy? Are you sure about what you said? Like... with the company."  
"I am. And I know what your christmas present for Zak was. If you want to... just stay longer."  
"And... if I would like to spend at least a whole year alone with Zak?"  
"Were alright with that," said Jay, smiling. "Just go. Find him, grab him, kiss him and tell him that you love him, man. And tell him we said _hello_."

\---------

"Theres nowhere to run," smirked Nick, like as if he was reading Zaks thought. And he was right. The only way to run was sneaking around Nick, because behind Zaks back, there was a tall fence made out of thorny bushes.  
"And this time Im gonna make sure that you wont escape me. Take it as a payback for what your boyfriend or whatever he was did to me."

Nick reached in his pocket and Zak froze, when he took out a gun. 

"Wait... what are you doing? What do you want from me?"  
"What I want? I just wanted to have fun. And I thought that you want it too, but... you rejected me. And your teddy bear didnt behave exactly nice to me, so... when I saw you here today, I just thought that we can enjoy some time together now. And you said that he isnt your boyfriend anymore, so... I guess you dont need to hurry home, alright?"  
"Alright... then why dont you put the gun down?"  
"Because for some reason I feel that I need to be convincing. Something tells me that you dont want to spend time with me, even if youre single now."  
"Well... youre right."  
"See? I knew it. But I swear that I thought about you the whole time, hoping to meet you again, _sweet boy_. Theres something mysterious in you and I want to explore it. Deeply. So... come on. Come with me."  
"Um... no."  
"Why not? And... whatever your reason is, would you risk your life? What if Im gonna shoot you in the face for rejecting me again? I dont like to be rejected, you know? Im not gonna hurt you, I promise, just... come with me, we can just chill at my place, play some game..."

_Play some game... I would rather die than to play another game._

"No."  
"No?"  
"No."  
"So you are rejecting me again?"  
"I guess so," shrugged Zak his shoulders.  
"Alright... then _I guess_ that I have no other choice."

Zak instinctively crouched down. At the same moment the back door of the club opened and someone big jumped around Nicks neck and pulled him backwards, so his hand flew up and the bullet he fired whizzed a few inches above Zaks head and disappeared into the bushes.

"Im tired of beating your ass over again," growled the tall figure leaning over Nick, who was now lying on the ground, trying to reach for the gun, but the figure kicked it away and punched him hard.  
"Aaron?" whispered Zak, when he recognized the voice. "What are you doing here?"  
"Im fucking breaking the rules," said Aaron over his shoulder, holding Nick, who was now helpless, with his knee and his left hand.  
"Is he... dead?"  
"No, he will be good. But Im gonna make sure that this wont happen again."

Aaron called the guys and the police. The whole time they were waiting gathered around Nicks motionless body, they were silent. Nobody said a word, Aaron was hypnotizing his feet, Zak was staring at the sky and Billy with Jay were exchanging nervous stares.   
They didnt even talk together at the police station, until they were done there and Billy with Jay left. It was already 7 in morning and the sun was slowly coming up. Then, as Zak and Aaron went out and Zak was about to leave Aaron without saying a single word, Aaron finally grabbed his arm.  
"Hey... wait. I need to talk to you."  
"About what?"  
"About your book."  
"Oh, the book. I forgot it at your house. Did you read it?"  
"Yeah, I did. You... you really meant everything you wrote?"  
Zak didnt answer, he was just staring into Aarons eyes.  
"Zak, I... just please... come... come back _home_ with me."  
Zak didnt respond, he just lowered his eyes.  
"Zak, please... I fucked up with the rules. And I fucked up with the whole game. I should have treated you in another way. I should have told you earlier that I like you. I should have told you to come with me, to leave the club."  
"Its not your fault, Aaron," smiled Zak sadly. "Its me who wanted you to write down the no-contact rule. And I wouldnt leave with you, if you wouldnt take me, and you know that well."  
"It doesnt matter. I should have acted differently, thats what matters. But I want you to know that I regret it. But if I wouldnt act like I acted... maybe we wouldnt become as close as we are now, so... I actually dont regret the whole game-thing to happen. I... I just love you. And I loved you the whole time. I loved you since the first moment I saw you on the stage."  
"I know," whispered Zak. "I knew that you are... into me, at the club. And when we started to spend time alone, I noticed that... that you maybe feel more. And I... I started to feel more too, but... I didnt say a word because I was afraid that you wouldnt believe me. I was afraid that you will take it as a part of the game, as a lie that I said to win. And then I finally told you and you... you wanted me to leave. And I didnt know what I am supposed to do, because I thought that you feel the same about me as I feel about you. I didnt know if its a trick, a test, or if you really want me to go, so... so I just left. And now... now you are just standing here, telling me to go _home_ with you, back to the house you threw me out of? If you really love me, why didnt you just say something like _ok, the game is over now, because we are into each other, so whats the point anyway_ , when I told you that I love you? Is this another test or what?"  
Aaron just took out a slightly crumpled envelope from his pocket and handed it to Zak.  
"What is it?"  
"Just look inside. Its christmas morning after all, so... I thought I could give you my christmas present."

Zak took out a piece of colorful paper.  
"Ireland?!"  
"Yes. I thought that we deserve to have a little vacation. Together. Alone. Like when we visited Romania, but... for a little longer time."  
"Like... how long?"  
"Maybe... a year or something like that?"  
"A year. Youre kidding me."  
"No... Actually, I thought that we can stay in Ireland like for a month or two, but I discussed it with Billy and Jay and they told me that they are gonna take care of the company, so we can have have more time just for ourselves."  
"If you planned this, why the hell did you tell me to leave?"  
"I... I dont know. I felt like you want to. I thought that you wan to win, because... damn, I dont even know why, perhaps so you can make a choice on your own? I thought you want to be free, so I gave you freedom. I left you win the game."  
"I didnt win! You broke a rule!"  
"What rule?"  
"I said the password, that means you should stop! And you didnt."  
"Yeah, I didnt stop. If I would, you wouldnt win. And you wouldnt be able to leave."  
"So... did you want me to leave or not?"  
"I wanted you to stay. In the whole year we spent together... there never was a moment when I would want you to leave."  
"Then why didnt you tell me?"  
"I panicked. I wasnt sure if you are doing and saying all the things because you want to win or because you simply really feel like doing and saying them. I was afraid that everything is a part of the game."  
"Which was your idea, by the way."  
"I know, Zak, Im sorry. I wanted to be with you, but I also didnt want to force you to stay, so I somehow came up with the game idea to spend at least some time with you... It was selfish. I know I fucked up. I admit it. Just please... please, come home with me. Lets leave to Ireland tomorrow. _Please_. We just need to survive this one day and then were free for a year. I love you, Zak, I really do. And I cant imagine being without you. If you want to, we can stay in Ireland or somewhere else for the rest of our days. I would give everything, I would sell my own soul to the devil just to be with you. And if youre not sure about this... lets just give it a try. Youre a free person, you can always tell me that you want to go. You can make your own choice, just please... give us a chance. Lets try it together, again, this time without rules, just me and you, for real, not because we are playing a stupid game. Live like anybody else, live the reality, doing things because we both want to, not because we have to. What do you think about it?"  
"Aaron... You moron. How can you even ask me such a question? I would die just to be able to spend a single day with you, you didnt get it yet? When we started the game... I admit that I wasnt in love with you and it really was just a game for me and I wanted to win it, but when we were in Romania, I realized that I dont know if I still want to win... because I really fell in love with you... The game idea was stupid, but... it helped me to get close to you, to find out who you really are and thats something I wouldnt be able to do if we would see each other only at the club, so I actually dont regret that it happened either. Because Ive got a chance to fall in love with an amazing man. I just should have told you, no matter what would happen. Were both just stupid, arent we? If one of us would say what we feel out loud earlier, we wouldnt need to experience this all," laughed Zak.  
"Yes, we are... Im so sorry, Zak, for everything."  
"You dont need to be. Actually, you did nothing wrong. You kept your promise. You promised to care about me. And you did, you cared about my needs, you cared about my feelings... _You cared for me_. And thats something nobody ever did. You made me experience things that I never even imagined to experience, and not just dates, trips... or the Romania vacation... but feelings. You changed me. Youre the first person ever I allowed myself to open my heart to, to really trust him. Thats why I wrote the book. I was hoping that you will find it, that you will read it and you will realize that when I told you that I love you, I really meant it. Because I do. I love you, Aaron."  
"I love you too, my baby boy," Aaron embraced Zak tightly, who cuddled to him. "Im sorry for being such a jerk. I swear that Im gonna change."  
"Youre my jerk. And I love you the way you are, so please, dont ever change, ok?"  
"Ok," Aaron kissed Zak in his hair. "So? Will you come back home with me? I have another present for you. Its waiting there for you, on the couch."  
"What is it?"  
"Its a surprise."  
"A surprise? Again? You like to surprise people, dont you?"   
"I like to surprise you."  
"You surprised me when you came to tell me that you want me back, so I dont even need another surprise today," smiled Zak.  
"Come on, Im sure youre gonna like it," Aaron held Zaks hand and led him to the car to finally take him back home.

\---------

Aaron opened the door and when Zak saw what Aaron meant when he said that the surprise is "waiting for him on the couch", he couldnt believe his eyes.  
"Oh my God, Benny, buddy!"  
The dog from animal shelter that Zak wanted to take when he felt alone without Aaron was sitting on the couch and when he saw Zak, he ran towards him, waving his tail, immediately recognizing Zak.  
"So it was you who took Benny! I was at the animal shelter yesterday and the lady told me that somebody already gave home to him. Why did you do that?" Zak sat down on the floor to hug the dog.  
"I had the same idea as you. I thought it would be easier to cope with loneliness if I would have someone who likes you too. Like... you know, the pain we share hurts less or something like that."  
"Well, we seem to think the same way," Zak stood up. "Maybe it means that were soulmates," he wrapped his arms around Aarons neck.  
"Lets find out in Ireland."  
"Lets find out right now," smiled Zak. "Tell me... whats on my mind? Do you think about the same thing?"  
Aaron kissed Zak slowly.  
"Well, that was close, but I thought about something more... fun, the last time it was... too quick to fully enjoy it," giggled Zak and playfully pulled Aarons beard.  
"Ok, I get it," winked Aaron, "so... the couch or the bed?"  
"The bed sounds better. It seems to be more comfortable."  
"Anything you wish," said Aaron and led Zak to the bedroom to finally do what they wanted to do together for a long time, this time without rules, without the need to do things because its a part of a game, just because they love each other and they cant wait to whisper those three beautiful words onto each others lips, both knowing now that there isnt a thing they would want more.


End file.
